Template:Did you know nominations/My Journey into the Heart of Terror: Ten Days in the Islamic State

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:54, 23 December 2017 (UTC)

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My Journey into the Heart of Terror: Ten Days in the Islamic State[edit]

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Created by Saff V. (talk). Self-nominated at 09:02, 18 November 2017 (UTC).

  • :REVIEW COMPLETED - The following review was completed by Esemono
checkY QPQ for Template:Did you know nominations/Hassan Ahmed (Ghanaian diplomat)
checkY Article created by Saff V. on November 15, 2017 and has 2580 characters (447 words) "readable prose size"
checkY Artile has acceptable English Article needs to be rewritten with and translated into natural English.
checkY Hook is fine Hook needs to be rewritten in more natural English
checkY ALT0 and ALT1 is sourced to :In October 2014 I was the first western journalist to spend time with Isis and return safely.
checkY Every paragraph sourced
checkY Earwig @ Toolserver Copyvio Detector found no copyvio
Article needs some copy editing -- Esemono (talk) 07:54, 2 December 2017 (UTC)
  • @Esemono: please do not use the DYK icons to indicate approval or disapproval, as it confuses the bot. I've replaced your checkmarks with acceptable marks. Yoninah (talk) 00:20, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
@Esemono: Thanks for review! @Baffle gab1978:, I wonder if you do the copy edit of article. Regards. Saff V. (talk) 07:05, 13 December 2017 (UTC)
  • I revised the text to conform with proper English grammar. I believe I did not change any of the information, and kept all citations in place. People involved in the article and this DYK review should check to see if all information still reads correctly. David notMD (talk) 10:19, 17 December 2017 (UTC)
    • At the request of the nominator, I made some little changes, too. --Mhhossein talk 10:52, 17 December 2017 (UTC)
      • Thanks for copy editing the article, @Esemono: can I ask you to continue to review? Regards!Saff V. (talk) 07:12, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
  • Article has been rewritten but still needs a new hook, one that is written in natural English -- Esemono (talk) 07:34, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
It is my suggestion.@David notMD: and @Mhhossein: Is it possible to know your idea about rewriting the hook? Regards! Saff V. (talk) 08:27, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
Suggest past tense and add "ISIS" David notMD (talk) 14:10, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
  • Hi @all. Thank you Saff V. for inviting me to the discussion. I've got a major issue with the hook; The wording of all the hooks suggested till now, read as if the there's a legitimate territory entitled 'Islamic state of Iraq and Syria', this is implied by "...travel to the Islamic state of Iraq and Syria." Looking at the sources, you'll see that the journalists use the term in a cautious manner and use suitable qualifiers to reassure that the "self pro-claimed" caliphate would not be officially recognized by their words. Hence, I suggest the following hooks:
I added 'invited by the group" to make it even more interesting. We can decide whether to use the 'ISIS' or 'Islamic state of Iraq and Syria'. --Mhhossein talk 16:38, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
How amazing hooks!I really appreciate all the job you’ve done to help me. Also I prefer the full name of ISIS. Regards! Saff V. (talk) 07:37, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
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