Template:Did you know nominations/Raquel Garcia

The following is an archived discussion of Raquel Garcia's DYK nomination. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page; such as this archived nomination"s (talk) page, the nominated article's (talk) page, or the Did you know (talk) page. Unless there is consensus to re-open the archived discussion here. No further edits should be made to this page. See the talk page guidelines for (more) information.

The result was: rejected by Allen3 ^talk 11:01, 15 March 2013 (UTC).
Insufficient progress toward resolving outstanding issues

Raquel Garcia[edit]

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... that Spanish visually impaired ski guide Raquel Garcia shared a room at the 2010 Winter Paralympics with Anna Cohí whom she served as a guide for at the Games?

Reviewed: Galilee earthquake of 1837

Created by LauraHale (talk), Iamthecheese44 (talk). Nominated by LauraHale (talk) at 13:14, 14 February 2013 (UTC).

The hook is simply not interesting: skier and ski guide were roommates at a competition? Why is this even remotely unusual? The article does meet newness and size requirements according to DYKcheck (3421 prose characters), but the prose needs a good editing. Take the start of the second sentence of the Skiing section: "Skiing with finished Cohí during the 2006/2007 European Cup season". More important, though, is the confusing text about Cup points, which seem to be Garcia's alone, since Cohl isn't mentioned (does Cohl have her own numbers?). The long list of dignitaries at the 2010 departure ceremony can only be considered padding (along with the return ceremony), and there's no point in saying they arrived ahead of the games on a certain date unless you also give the actual dates of the games. The games are said to be in Vancouver, yet there's talk of an arrival in Whistler rather than Vancouver (why not just say "Canada"?), and in the entire paragraph, the results are given in confusing fashion, and always as "she" rather than "they". The final sentence should be deleted: right now it's a seemingly endless row of Spanish words that I think is a list of three (two?) sponsoring organizations. They just aren't germane; the name of the competition was plenty. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:21, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

There has been no response in two weeks, despite talk-page notification eleven days ago, and no article edits by the creators, so I'm closing this nomination due to the substantial issues noted above. BlueMoonset (talk) 19:28, 14 March 2013 (UTC)