Template:Did you know nominations/Satish Namdeo Ghormade
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- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:22, 10 April 2019 (UTC)
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Satish Namdeo Ghormade
[edit]... that Satish Namdeo Ghormade oversaw A Memorandum of Understanding with Space Applications Centre for data sharing about oceanography and meteorology to better understand The Indian ocean?Source : [1]- ALT1:
... that Satish Namdeo Ghormade served as Director of Military Affairs at the Ministry of External Affairs?Source : [2]
- ALT1:
Created by Sumanth699 (talk). Self-nominated at 07:17, 6 March 2019 (UTC).
*Newly created article, article of more than 1500 characters, article follows all policy guidelines, use of fair images, cited and interesting hook. The first hook is better. Also QPQ not required RRD (talk) 10:27, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Royroydeb: Thank you, I'll prefer the first one as you said. saisumanth Javvaji (talk) 12:57, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
The ALT0 hook needs a copyedit. "A" or "the" should be placed before "Memorandum". "For better understanding" might be better phrased as "to better understand". The Indian Ocean is a proper noun and should be capitalized.
- @Yoninah: Thank you for the suggestions, I will change them. saisumanth Javvaji (talk) 03:08, 14 March 2019 (UTC)
- What is the image showing?
- The image is showing the MoU.saisumanth Javvaji (talk) 03:08, 14 March 2019 (UTC)
- The end of the Career section could also use a copyedit for English grammar.Yoninah (talk) 21:05, 13 March 2019 (UTC)
The hook needs to be reworded. I have tried to copyedit the last paragraph of career section. But it is better if you list this article at WP:GOCER. @Sumanth699: RRD (talk) 10:29, 14 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Royroydeb: Thanks for the suggestion, I've listed the article at WP:GOCER, and also will reword the hook. saisumanth Javvaji (talk) 12:48, 14 March 2019 (UTC)
Comment: I don't find both the hooks, ALT0 and ALT1, interesting. ALT0 speaks about an MoU, which is very common to happen for organisations, and also ALT1 doesn't speak anything exceptional. MEA has a military affairs director, and many people have had held this post. IMHO, I don't believe that these hooks are interesting enough to be published on main page. KCVelaga (talk) 05:17, 16 March 2019 (UTC)
- Thanks for your comment, KCVelaga. While I agree with your sentiment, this nomination is on hold until the copyedit is complete. Yoninah (talk) 17:29, 16 March 2019 (UTC)
- @KCVelaga: Thanks for letting me know that the hooks are not interesting, can you please suggest me one interesting hook from my article?. Sumanth699 (talk) 13:18, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Sumanth699: Ping me after the c/e has been done. I'll look into it. KCVelaga (talk) 13:23, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
- Hi @Yoninah:, @KCVelaga:, the copy edit of this article is completed please let me know what should be done now, Thanks in advance. Sumanth699 (talk) 15:23, 3 April 2019 (UTC)
- @Sumanth699: Thanks for the ping. Please propose new hook(s) that can be interesting enough to be published on the main page. KCVelaga (talk) 01:13, 5 April 2019 (UTC)
- Hi @Yoninah:, @KCVelaga:, the copy edit of this article is completed please let me know what should be done now, Thanks in advance. Sumanth699 (talk) 15:23, 3 April 2019 (UTC)
- @Sumanth699: Ping me after the c/e has been done. I'll look into it. KCVelaga (talk) 13:23, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Royroydeb: Thank you, I'll prefer the first one as you said. saisumanth Javvaji (talk) 12:57, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
I propose the following alternate hook;
- ALT2:
... that Satish Namdeo Ghormade, an Indian naval officer, attended naval staff courses at the United States Naval War College and also the Naval War College, Mumbai?
@Sumanth699 and Yoninah: If this is OK, I am GTG with this nomination. KCVelaga (talk) 05:56, 7 April 2019 (UTC)
- @KCVelaga: Thanks for the suggestion of ALT2 and I am ok with it. Sumanth699 (talk) 10:59, 8 April 2019 (UTC)
- The copyedit is complete and the article looks much better. But ALT2 is rather ho hum, and mentions the word "naval" four times. I think you should consider something with a bit more pizzazz in the wording, like:
- ALT3: ... that Satish Namdeo Ghormade (pictured) has served as commanding officer of a guided missile frigate, a submarine rescue vessel, and a minesweeper?
- I'm adding his portrait image to this nomination because he has a ton of medals on his chest. Yoninah (talk) 16:47, 8 April 2019 (UTC)