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Template:Did you know nominations/Stephen Twinoburyo

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 07:06, 12 February 2019 (UTC)

Stephen Twinoburyo

[edit]
  • ... that Ugandan mathematician Stephen Twinoburyo lived in South Africa, and founded the Uganda Professionals Living in South Africa?

Created by Joseph2302 (talk). Self-nominated at 12:50, 6 January 2019 (UTC).

  • The article is long enough and new enough with no copyright violations. A QPQ has been completed. I do think that the hook needs something that explains what the Uganda Professionals Living in South Africa is or else I do not see much reason for readers to click on the article. It would also need to be added to the article. SL93 (talk) 03:36, 8 January 2019 (UTC)
  • How about ALT1: ... that Ugandan mathematician Stephen Twinoburyo founded Uganda Professionals Living in South Africa, an organisation to connect Ugandan expatriates in South Africa? Joseph2302 (talk) 18:25, 8 January 2019 (UTC)
  • That's good. SL93 (talk) 18:35, 8 January 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but ALT1 says "Uganda" three times and is altogether bland IMO. Yoninah (talk) 22:06, 2 February 2019 (UTC)
  • Well I was asked to add more information to the hook, so I did. And it's not as dull as many of the hooks at DYK. Joseph2302 (talk) 00:26, 3 February 2019 (UTC)
  • Yoninah, what do you think of the original hook? SL93 (talk) 00:55, 3 February 2019 (UTC)
  • @Joseph2302: "not as dull as others" doesn't sound like a selling point for a hook. What about:
  • ALT2: ... that Stephen Twinoburyo, an Ugandan expatriate in South Africa, said that Ugandans were unhappy about the ticket prices for the 2010 FIFA World Cup that took place in his new country? Yoninah (talk) 11:00, 3 February 2019 (UTC)
  • Thank you. @SL93: could you review ALT2 please? Yoninah (talk) 11:38, 3 February 2019 (UTC)
  • It's good to go. SL93 (talk) 21:33, 3 February 2019 (UTC)
  • Thank you. I added a bit more to the hook. Yoninah (talk) 21:52, 3 February 2019 (UTC)