Template talk:Did you know/1980 Amherst, Massachusetts water shortage

1980 Amherst, Massachusetts water shortage[edit]

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by rʨanaɢ (talk) 16:03, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

... that a water crisis once closed the University of Massachusetts Amherst for a few days?

Reviewed: Template talk:Did you know/List of the largest libraries in the United States

Created by Ktr101 (talk). Self nom at 20:53, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The article is long enough, is new enough, and supports the hook, but the entire article cites just one source [1], and closely paraphrases it. Jsayre64 (talk) 20:12, 19 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oops, I never did fix up those references below! Kevin Rutherford (talk) 00:47, 24 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I'm going to finish fixing it up in the next day or two, but for now it looks better. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 03:42, 24 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

this suggests a little more work is needed. Sorry. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:29, 26 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I never said that I was finished, and I have been sporadically available lately due to me having school and whatnot. That's a cool site, though. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 00:33, 28 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I should have it done in the next day or so, but I cannot be sure of that. I'm finally getting done with RA training so I'll have a tad bit more of free time. Sorry for the delays, Jsayre. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 04:47, 30 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

It should be good now. If there are any particular things that you think need attention, please tell me. I tried to weed out the terms that I could rewrite, although I could not do the ones where there were quotes, they were how I would write it, and things with a three or so words. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 18:09, 2 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The comparison that Casliber linked to above still shows a lot of close paraphrasing, only a little of which involves direct quotations in the article. Many sentence structures are essentially identical to those in the source, differing only in substitution of individual words, such as "in town" vs. "in Amherst". Several examples:

Source: All residence halls went into 24-lockdown. Only about 600 students remained on campus, including international students in Prince House in Southwest and 360 resident assistants.

Article: As the campus remained in twenty four-hour lockdown, only six hundred students remained on campus, including three hundred international students in Walter E. Prince Hall, and three hundred and sixty residential assistants.

Source: The Dining Commons switched to plastic utensils and paper plates and maintenance staff from Housing and Physical Plant spread out to shut off all water fixtures

Article: The dining commons also switched to paper plates and plastic utensils and water was shut off to the dorms by the Physical Plant.

Source: The first report of trouble came on Wednesday morning when a resident of Cashin House in Sylvan called maintenance to complain about low water pressure.

Article: The first signs of trouble came the next morning when a resident of William M. Cashin House on the northern end of campus called the school's maintenance to report low water levels.

Source: By early afternoon, signs were posted in Cashin House advising students on the fifth through eighth floors that no water was available. Meanwhile, complaints about low water pressure began coming from other dorms in Sylvan, Orchard Hill and Central—all areas high on the ridge on the east side of campus.

Article: By early afternoon, notices were posted in the dorm advising students on the fifth through eighth floors that there was no water available. Complaints began to trickle in from the Sylvan, Orchard Hill, and Central Residential Areas. All these dorms were on a hill relative to the rest of campus.

Source: According to the Globe, two liquor stores in Amherst reported brisk sales to students.

Article: According to the Boston Globe, two liquor stores in town reported brisk sales to students.

Please think about how to tell the story without adhering so closely to the words of the source. --Orlady (talk) 20:19, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]