User:Eumat114/How not to get unblocked II

This is a response essay to User:Yunshui's how not to get unblocked essay.

This is a humorous essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously.

This essay provides even more ways to not let administrators unblock you, at any time.

Vandalize WP:AIV, WP:AN and such pages[edit]

A foolproof way to force administrators to block you indef is to (use socks to) vandalise high-profile pages, such as the aforementioned noticeboards. By doing so you are attracting attention, and admins will have no choice but to block you indef.

Ideally, you may add "on wheels" on every request and replace each of the reported vandals to some random admins (ideally active ones), and incorporate your own username into those requests.

Bend the rules[edit]

If you are blocked with promotion, as a WP:SPAMmer, you may pose an unblock request that claims that as per WP:IAR that rule does not hold, and that the admin is WP:ABF-fing and should instead be blocked (or better, desysopped to show understanding of Wikipedia). Alternatively, if you were blocked for vandalism, you may say that you are bringing to light those lesser known articles desperately in need of attention, and that you deserve adminship, and that you are improving Wikipedia, hence acting in WP:AGF, and that vandalism refers to bad faith editing, hence you are not vandalizing and that the admin should not place a bad block, and that the matter should be discussed civilly at WP:ANI ...