User:Hotsaucebosse

Mach Uhlack

MACH (pronounced /mäk/ )

noun

1. the ratio of the speed of a body to the speed of sound in the surrounding medium. It is often used with a numeral (as Mach 1, Mach 2, etc.) to indicate the speed of sound, twice the speed of sound, etc.

UHLACK (Pronounce Uhlack as AH L AH K. )

noun

1. a name of Irish origin, once thought to mean "dream smasher" now understood to be defined as "squealing mermaid". This surname is predominantly found in The Americas, where 100 percent of Uhlack reside; 100 percent reside in North America and 100 percent reside in Anglo-North America.

Background

Combined, one can infer that a Mach Uhlack is indeed the speed of a squealing mermaid. This speed is comparable to NASA's experimental X-43, which thanks to its scramjet design it was able to reach a speed of Mach 9.6, or 11,854 Km/h. However their are several major differences between the two:

“Mach" is a speed measured relative to the speed of sound. The speed of sound depends on the density of the medium, usually air. Air density depends on altitude. So to convert Mach 9.6 to miles per hour, you need to know what altitude you're flying at. Mach 9.6 is in the hypersonic range, so it's likely you're flying pretty high. At 100,000 feet, the speed of sound is 678 mph, so Mach 9.6 is about 6,509 mph. A Mach Uhlack is achievable on the ground.

You'd need to go faster at sea level. The speed of sound there is about 760 mph, and Mach 9.6 is 7,296 mph, while the Mach Uhlack is 8,000 mph.

If a person were going at a Mach Uhlack speed, bystanders would survive in the path however, a person who went from zero to Mach Uhlack would annihilate everyone in a 1/2 mile radius. The survivors during a Mach Uhlack passing would have their clothes melted to their bones while still alive. Scientists are not yet sure what causes this specific anomaly as 100% of the survivors suffer no other injuries.

Origin

The first ever recording of a Mach Uhlack was recently documented in March of 2024 when a servicemember (who will remain nameless for anonymity) was late for work after sleeping in passed several set alarms. It was then with the acute combination of determination, gravitational pull and lack of sleep that said member was able to achieve this record breaking speed and actually span a mile distance in -4 seconds. While it cannot be scientifically proven, time did in fact stop and begin to reverse. More studies are being conducted in order to explain this event. From that moment on, the term Mach Uhlack was coined because those in a safe distance from the service member recalled a distinct squealing from a mermaid racing passed them. Mermaids have been proven real by sailors and recorded that they squeal in a high pitched manner when either very excited or scared at the thought of something gross. It was never revealed as to which reason this service member made the sound of the mermaid squeal.