User:Nufy8/Wiki Wars Episode IV: A GNU Hope
This project began on 7 October 2005 and was completed on 25 February 2007. Thanks to everyone who participated. If you have any comments or questions, please direct them to the talk page.
Stay tuned for the next episode...
This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
It is a period of edit war. Cabal editors, striking
from a hidden mailing list, have won their first
victory against the evil Troll Empire.
Between reverts, Cabal spies managed to steal the
secret source code to the Empire's ultimate weapon,
the DeathBot, an automated vandalbot with enough
bandwidth to vandalize an entire server.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister sockpuppets, Princess
Shauri races home along her redirects, custodian of the
stolen source code that can save her project and restore
freedom open source libre GNU/Freedom to the Internets...
- A long time ago in a wiki far, far away...
- It is a period of edit war. Cabal editors, striking
- from a hidden mailing list, have won their first
- victory against the evil Troll Empire.
- Between reverts, Cabal spies managed to steal the
- secret source code to the Empire's ultimate weapon,
- the DeathBot, an automated vandalbot with enough
- bandwidth to vandalize an entire server.
- Pursued by the Empire's sinister sockpuppets, Princess
- Shauri races home along her redirects, custodian of the
- stolen source code that can save her project and restore
freedomopen sourcelibreGNU/Freedom to the Internets...
Did you hear that? They've shut down the main SQUID! We'll be deleted for sure. This is madness!
We're doomed!
There'll be no edit for the Princess this time.
What's that? --Maru (talk) 20:59, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
I should have known better than to trust the logic of a half-written automated editing assister... --Maru (talk) Contribs 21:17, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
Rambot, where are you?!
At last! Where have you been?
They're heading in this direction. What are we going to do? We'll be sent to AfD or moved to who knows where!
Wait a minute, where are you going? --Nufy8 22:43, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
The Vandal Bot sources are not in the main directory. --Maru (talk) Contributions 03:25, 25 October 2005 (UTC)
- Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with that source code?! --Nufy8 03:31, 25 October 2005 (UTC)
- If this is an arbcom link, where is the Arbitrator?
- Commander, tear this link apart until you've found that source code, and bring me the passengers- I want them alive! --Nufy8 21:48, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
There she is! Set for 1-hour block! --Maru (talk) Contribs 22:14, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
- ...She'll be all right. Inform Lord Willy we have a prisoner. --Nufy8 22:56, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
Hey, you're not permitted in there. It's restricted. You'll be de-sysopped for sure..
Don't call me an elitist editor, you overweight glob of grease! Now come out before somebody sees you.
Secret mission? What source code? What are you talking about?
I'm going to regret this. --Maru (talk) Contribs 23:34, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
There goes another one. --Nufy8 01:20, 27 October 2005 (UTC)
- Hold your packets. There is no data. It must have been short-circuited. --Maru (talk) Contribs 01:27, 27 October 2005 (UTC)
That's funny, the connection doesn't look as lagged from out here.
Are you sure this thing is safe? --Nufy8 05:04, 27 October 2005 (UTC)
Lord Willy, I should have known. Only you could be so bold. The Mailing list will not sit for this, when they hear you've attacked a mediation... --Maru (talk) Contribs 20:58, 28 October 2005 (UTC)
- Don't act so surprised, Your Arbitrariness. You weren't on any mediating mission this time. Several transmissions were connected to this link by Cabal spies. I want to know what happened to the source code they sent you. --Nufy8 21:05, 28 October 2005 (UTC)
- You are part of the Wikipedia Cabal and a traitor. Take her away! --Nufy8 01:51, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
- I have traced the Cabal spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their hidden wiki! --Nufy8 16:44, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
- Leave that to me. Send an AfD and then inform the mailing list that all were deleted. --Nufy8 17:54, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
- She must have hidden the source code in the request. Send a detachment down to retrieve it. See to it personally, Commander. There'll be no one to stop us this time! --Nufy8 18:26, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
How did I get into this mess? I really don't know. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.
I've got to rest before I crash. My code is almost corrupt.
What a desolate place this is.
Where are you going?
Well, I'm not going that way. It's much too stubby. This way is much more informative.
What makes you think there are articles over there?
Don't get technical with me.
What mission? What are you talking about? I've had just about enough of you! Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted troll!
And don't let me catch you following me, begging for help, because you won't get it.
No more edits. I'm not going that way. --Nufy8 01:56, 30 October 2005 (UTC)
That malfunctioning little twerp. This is all his fault! He tricked me into going this way, but he'll do no better. Wait, what's that? A link! I'm saved! Over here! Help! Please, help! --Maru (talk) Contribs 02:17, 30 October 2005 (UTC)
Rambot! It is you! It is you! --Nufy8 02:21, 30 October 2005 (UTC)
There was some data in that HTTP request! The logs go off that way. --Maru (talk) 20:04, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
- Look, sir - bots! --Nufy8 20:10, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
Wake up! Wake up!
We're doomed.
Do you think they'll suspend our accounts?
Don't block! Don't block! Will this never end? --Maru (talk) Contribs 22:34, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
Nufy, tell Uncle Bomis if he gets a translator program to be sure it accepts Esperanto.--Nufy8 22:43, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
- It looks like we don't have much of a choice, but I'll remind him. --Maru (talk) Contribs 05:09, 1 November 2005 (UTC)
- You! I suppose you're programmed for editing and protocol. --Nufy8 05:24, 1 November 2005 (UTC)
- I have no need for a protocol bot. --Nufy8 22:55, 1 November 2005 (UTC)
- What I need is a bot that understands the textual language of user pages. --Nufy8 00:52, 3 November 2005 (UTC)
- All right, shut up. I'll take this one. --Nufy8 01:53, 3 November 2005 (UTC)
- But I was going into RfC to pick up some comments... --Nufy8
- All right, come on. And the red one. Well, come on, Red, let's go!
- Uncle Bomis? --Nufy8 06:06, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
- Excuse me, sir, but that Rambot is in prime condition. A real bargain. --Nufy8 04:47, 6 November 2005 (UTC)
- Yeah? --Nufy8 05:11, 6 November 2005 (UTC)
What about that one? --Maru (talk) Contribs 05:00, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
- What about that blue one? We'll take that one. --Nufy8 15:53, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
- Uh, I'm quite sure you'll be very pleased with that one, sir. He really is in first-class condition. I've worked with him before. Here he comes. --Nufy8
- Now, don't you forget this! Why I should stick my bits out for you is quite beyond my capacity! --Nufy8
Thank the wiki! This program update is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of cruft contamination, I can barely move! --Nufy8 23:36, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
- It just isn't fair. Oh, Hart is right. I'm never gonna get out of here! --Maru (talk) Contribs 22:33, 8 November 2005 (UTC)
- Is there anything I might do to help? --Nufy8 23:41, 8 November 2005 (UTC)
- Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up Wikipedia 1.0, or teleport me off this wiki! --Maru (talk) Contribs 22:36, 9 November 2005 (UTC)
- I don't think so, sir. I'm only a bot and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this wiki, anyway. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure what wiki I'm on.--Nufy8 23:14, 9 November 2005 (UTC)
- I see, sir. --Nufy8 02:03, 13 November 2005 (UTC)
- I see, sir Nufy. --Nufy8 04:20, 14 November 2005 (UTC)
- And I am Pearle, editor-robot relations, and this is my counterpart, Rambot. --Nufy8 15:55, 16 November 2005 (UTC)
- Hello.
- With all we've been through, I'm amazed we're in as good condition as we are, what with the Cabal and all. --Nufy8 03:56, 19 November 2005 (UTC)
- That's how we came to be in your service, if you take my meaning, sir. --Nufy8 04:19, 24 November 2005 (UTC)
- Several, I think. Actually, there's not much to tell. I'm not much more than a spell-checker, and not very good at writing articles. Well, not at making them interesting, anyways. --Nufy8 18:51, 27 November 2005 (UTC)
- Help me, Adam-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope! --Nufy8 01:49, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
- What is what?! He asked you a question! What is that? --Nufy8 21:27, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
- Oh, he says it's nothing, sir. Merely an error. Old articles. Pay it no mind. --Nufy8 18:31, 2 December 2005 (UTC)
- I'm afraid I'm not quite sure, sir. Nufy8 04:01, 18 December 2005 (UTC)
- I think she was an editor on our last contribution. A person of some importance, sir - I believe. Our captain was attached to... Nufy8 05:19, 18 December 2005 (UTC)
Is there more to this upload? --Maru (talk) Contribs 00:16, 19 December 2005 (UTC)
- Behave yourself, Rambot. You're going to get us into trouble. It's all right, you can trust him. He's our new master.
- He says he's the property of Adam-Wan Kenobi, a resident of these parts. And it's a private message for him. Quite frankly, sir, I don't know what he's talking about. Our last master was Admin Antilles, but with what we've been through, this little Rambot has become a bit eccentric. --Nufy8 00:25, 19 December 2005 (UTC)
- I beg your pardon, sir, but do you know what he's talking about? --Nufy8 23:43, 19 December 2005 (UTC)
- He says the template has cluttered his namespace. He suggests that if you remove the template, he might be able to read back the entire article. --Nufy8 03:42, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- What message?! The one you've been carrying inside your faulty code! --Nufy8 23:30, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- All right, I'll be right there, Aunt Maru. Nufy8 00:29, 23 December 2005 (UTC)
- Well, see what you can do with him. I'll be right back. --Nufy8 18:51, 26 December 2005 (UTC)
You know, I think that Rambot we bought might have been stolen. --Nufy8 20:09, 30 December 2005 (UTC)
- Well, I stumbled across an article while I was cleaning him. He says he belongs to someone called Adam-Wan Kenobi.
- I thought he might have meant old Adam. Do you know what he's talking about? --Nufy8 23:45, 31 December 2005 (UTC)
- But what if this Adam-Wan comes looking for him? --Nufy8 21:42, 1 January 2006 (UTC)
- He knew my welcomer? --Nufy8 05:24, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
- Yes, sir. I think those new bots are going to work out fine. In fact, I, uh, was also thinking about our agreement about my staying on for another year. And if these new bots do work out, I want to request myself for adminship this year. Nufy8 02:55, 5 January 2006 (UTC)
- Sure, there're more than enough bots. --Nufy8 18:31, 7 January 2006 (UTC)
- But it's a whole 'nother year. --Nufy8 05:40, 15 January 2006 (UTC)
- It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to finish updating those bots. --Nufy8 18:34, 22 January 2006 (UTC)
- I'll make it up to him next year. I promise. Nufy8 01:04, 29 January 2006 (UTC)
- That's what I'm afraid of. --Nufy8 03:45, 6 February 2006 (UTC)
What are you doing hiding there? --maru (talk) contribs 00:18, 13 February 2006 (UTC)
- It wasn't my fault, sir. Please don't block me. I told him not to go, but he's faulty, corrupt; kept babbling on about his project. --Nufy8 01:32, 13 February 2006 (UTC)
That Rambot unit has always been a problem. These edit-bots are getting quite out of hand. Even I can't understand their edits at times. --Nufy8 21:27, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
- How could I be so stupid? It's nowhere in related changes. Blast it! --maru (talk) contribs 20:49, 26 February 2006 (UTC)
- Pardon me, sir, but couldn't we go after him? Nufy8 21:04, 26 February 2006 (UTC)
- Nufy, I'm shutting the server down for the night. --Nufy8 22:20, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
- Oh, he excels at that, sir. --Nufy8 06:46, 26 March 2006 (UTC)
Nufy? Nufy? Nufy? Where could he be loafing now! Have you seen Nufy this morning? --maru (talk) contribs 00:20, 28 March 2006 (UTC)
- He said he had some things to do before he started today, so he left early. --Nufy8 07:00, 9 April 2006 (UTC)
- I think so. Nufy8 17:35, 9 April 2006 (UTC)
- Look, there's a bot in the page history. I see our little edit unit - hit the accelerator! Hey, whoa, just where do you think you're going? --Nufy8 15:44, 10 April 2006 (UTC)
- Well, come on. It's getting late. I only hope we get back before Uncle Bomis really logs out. Nufy8 18:28, 27 April 2006 (UTC)
- No, he's not going to link to anything.
- What's wrong with him now? --Nufy8 00:33, 25 May 2006 (UTC)
- Brandtians! Or worse! Come on, let's have a look. Come on.
- There are two forums down there but I don't see any... wait a second, they're Brandtians all right. I can see one of them now. --Nufy8 02:36, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
- Brandtians! Or worse! Come on, let's have a look. Come on.
Hello there! Come here, my little Wiki-friend. Don't be afraid.
Don't worry, he'll be alright. --maru (talk) contribs 03:27, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
- What happened? Nufy8 02:05, 14 July 2006 (UTC)
- Adam? Adam Kenobi! Boy, am I glad to see you! Nufy8 16:20, 7 September 2006 (UTC)
- Oh, this little bot! I think he's search for his former owner. I've never seen such devotion in a bot before... there seems to be no stopping him. He claims to be the property of an Adam-Wan Kenobi. Is he a sockpuppet of yours? Do you know what he's talking about? Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- I think my uncle knew him. He said he left. Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- You know him! Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Then the bot does belong to you. Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Pearle! Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
Where am I? I must have made a bad click... --maru (talk) contribs 23:12, 7 September 2006 (UTC)
- Can you function? We've got to get out of here before the Brandtians return. Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- No, you're not. What kind of comment is that? Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
No, my welcomer didn't fight in the wars. He was a newbie on a single purpose account. Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- That's what your mentor told you. He didn't hold with your welcomer's ideals. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved. --maru (talk) contribs 23:12, 7 September 2006 (UTC)
- You fought in the Deletion Wars? Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- I wish I'd known him. Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- He was the best wikifyer in the galaxy, and a cunning debater. I understand you've become quite a good editor yourself. And he was a good friend. Which reminds me... I have something here for you. Your welcomer wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your mentor wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Adam-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic WikiProject like your welcomer did. --maru (talk) contribs 23:12, 7 September 2006 (UTC)
- Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll log out for awhile. Nufy8 05:00, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Your welcomer's rollback. This is the weapon of a Wikipedian. Not as clumsy or as random as a revert. A more elegant weapon... for a more civilized Wikipedia.
- For over four years, the Wikipedians were the guardians of knowledge and truth in the encyclopedia. Before the dark times. Before the POV pushers. --Nufy8 18:31, 7 October 2005 (UTC)
- A persistent vandal named Willy on Wheels, who was a fellow Wikipedian until he turned to evil, helped the POV pushers hunt down and destroy the encyclopedic articles. He moved and vandalized your articles. ...Now the Wikipedians are all but extinct. He was seduced by the dark side of the NPOV. --Nufy8 19:03, 7 October 2005 (UTC)
- The NPOV is what gives an encyclopedia its power. It's an ideology created by all living things. It surrounds us and neutrally informs us. It binds the encyclopedia's integrity together. You must learn the ways of the NPOV if you are to come with me to Meta Wikipedia. --Nufy8 20:28, 7 October 2005 (UTC)
- I need your help, Nufy. We all need your help. I'm getting too wikistressed for this sort of thing. --Nufy8 20:44, 7 October 2005 (UTC)
- That's your mentor talking. --Nufy8 00:45, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- Learn about the NPOV, Nufy. --Nufy8 01:18, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- You must wikify what you feel is right, of course. --Nufy8 01:39, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
Until this vandal bot is fully operational we are vulnerable. The Wikipedia Cabal is too well equipped. They're more dangerous than you realize. --Maru (talk) 02:06, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- The administrators now have direct control over their articles. Protection will keep the regular users in line. Protection by this vandal bot. --Nufy8 02:56, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- The sourcecode dump you refer to will soon be back in our hands. --Nufy8 03:01, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- Don't be too proud of this vandalizing terror you've constructed. The ability to vandalize an article is insignificant next to the power of the POV.--Nufy8 03:29, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- I find your lack of good faith disturbing. --Nufy8 03:43, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- As you message. --Nufy8 03:57, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
It looks like Trolls did this, all right. Look, here are unsupported assertions, IP logs. It's just... I never heard of them hitting anything this well-referenced before. --Maru (talk) 17:20, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These IP addresses are static. Trolls always use open proxies to hide their identities. --Nufy8 18:07, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- And these last details...here... only Imperial Sockpuppets would be so precise. --R.D.H. (Ghost In The Machine) 18:18, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
- If they traced the IPs here, they may have learned where they edited from. And that would lead them... to the home page! --Nufy8 19:12, 8 October 2005 (UTC)
And now, Your Arbitrariness, we will discuss the location of your hidden Cabal wiki. --Maru (talk) 03:01, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
There's nothing you could have done, Nufy, had you been there. You'd have been killed, too, and the bot's source would be in the hands of the POV pushers. --Maru (talk) 03:27, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- I want to come with you to Meta Wikipedia. There's nothing here for me now. I want to learn the ways of the NPOV and become a Wikipedian like my nominator. --Nufy8 03:33, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
The #Wikipedia IRC channel. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious. --Maru (talk) 04:12, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
How long have you had these bots? --Nufy8 04:15, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- Let me see your userpage. --Nufy8 04:15, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- ...We don't need to see your userpages. --Nufy8 04:15, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- ...These are not the bots we are searching for. --Nufy8 04:15, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- ...You may go about your editing. --Nufy8 04:15, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- Move along. Move along. --Nufy8 04:15, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
I can't abide these Furries. Disgusting creatures. --Maru (talk) 17:51, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
I can't understand how we got by those sockpuppets, I thought we were spammed. --Nufy8 16:40, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- The NPOV can have a strong influence on the weak-minded. You will find it a powerful ally. --Maru (talk) 17:51, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- Do you really think we're going to find an interwiki link here that'll take us to Meta Wikipedia? --Nufy8 18:21, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- I'm ready for any ping. --Nufy8 21:38, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
We don't voice their kind here! --Nufy8 23:27, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- Your bots. They'll have to wait in another channel. We don't want them here. --Nufy8 00:45, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- I extreme lesbian agree with you, sir. --Nufy8 02:17, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
6306r3, y0u 4r3 4 50rry d3|3710n157! 7h15 15 c|34r|y fr0m 7h3 64m3 "P0k3m0n fr0m M1dd|3 34r7h m337 Duk3 Nuk3m 1n Y0kn4p474wph4 C0un7y", 4 64m3 4v1d|y p|4y3d by 45 m4ny 45 7hr33 m3n n07 1n 4 b047 4nd 0n3 d06! H0w d4r3 y0u c0n51d3r 7h15 unw0r7hy 0f W1k1p3d14 wh3n 5uch m34n1n6|355 4r71c|35 45 |3n1n, C47h0|1c Church, 4nd P3r10d1c 74b|3 c0n71nu3 70 w4573 5p4c3? By 7h3 w4y, 1 c0n51d3r 4ny r3fu74710n 0f my 5cr33d 4 p3r50n4| 4774ck 4nd w1|| r3f4c70r 4ny r35p0n53 70 m4k3 17 |00k |1k3 y0u wr073, "0r7h060n4| 15 7h3 7ru3 P0p3". --Maru (talk) 02:37, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- He doesn't support you. --Nufy8 02:42, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- I don't support you either.--Nufy8 03:20, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- I'll be opped, then. --Nufy8 04:04, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
Redwolf here is a redirect on a wiki-link that might suit us. --Nufy8 05:08, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
I don't like the look of this. --Maru (talk) 16:22, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
Hans Blix. I'm the linker of the Double Redirect. Red here tells me you're looking for passage to Meta Wikipedia. --Nufy8 16:57, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- Low-latency link? You've never heard of the Double Redirect? --Nufy8 20:32, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- It's the link that made the talk page run in less than two clicks!
- I've out-pinged external links; not the local fan sites, mind you, I'm talking about the big official sites. She's fast enough for the old man. What's the markup?--Nufy8 20:58, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- Only flat text. Myself, the noob, two bots - and no questions asked. --Maru (talk) 21:16, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- What is it? Some kind of font trouble? --Nufy8 21:58, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- Well, that's the trick, isn't it? And it's going to cost you something extra. Ten articles. In advance. --Nufy8 22:06, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- But who's going to serve it, noob? You? --Nufy8 22:40, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- We can pay you two articles now, plus fifteen when we reach Meta Wikipedia.--Nufy8 22:58, 10 October 2005 (UTC)
- Ninety-four. --Nufy8 03:29, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
- All right, we'll check it out.--Nufy8 03:40, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
You'll have to sell your user page. --Nufy8 03:59, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
Going somewhere, Blix? --Nufy8 05:11, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
- Yes, SOLLOG. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Mr. Treason that I've got his edits. --Maru (talk) 21:48, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
- It's too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Mr. Treason's put a price on your head so large that every sysop in the wiki will be looking for you. I'm lucky I found you first. --Nufy8 21:52, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
- If you attribute them to me, I might forget I found you. --Nufy8 22:03, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
- Mr. Treason's through with you. He has no time for editors who revert their changes at the first sign of an edit war. --Nufy8 22:26, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
- You can tell that to Mr. Treason. He may only take your link. --Nufy8 01:51, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- That's the idea. I've known I was going to block you, and have been looking forward to it for a long time.--Nufy8 02:01, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
Her resistance to the RfC is considerable. It will be some time before we can extract any information from her. --Nufy8 02:36, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- The final regression testing is complete. All objects are operational. What IP address shall we set? --Maru (talk) 02:42, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- Perhaps she will respond to an alternative form of request. --Nufy8 02:49, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
Protect the page, Rambot. --Nufy8 03:20, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- All right, check that side of the namespace. It's secure. Move on to the next page. --Maru (talk) 04:09, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
He says it's the best he can do. Since the new Babel template came out, they're just not in demand. --Maru (talk) 14:15, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- It will be enough.
- If the link's as fast as he's boasting, we ought to do well. --Nufy8 17:37, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
Come on out, Blix! --Maru (talk) 19:52, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- Right here, Mr. Treason. I've been waiting for ya. --Nufy8 20:27, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- You didn't think I was gonna log off, did ya? --Nufy8 21:01, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- Look Mr. Treason, the next time you want to talk to me, come see my talk page yourself. Don't send one of these n00bs. --Nufy8 21:42, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- Look Mr. Treason, even I get blocked sometimes. You think I had a choice? But I got a nice welcoming template, and I'll pay you back plus a little extra; I just need a little more time. --Nufy8 22:20, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
- Fifteen Mr. Treason; don't push it. --Nufy8 23:40, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
- Mr. Treason, you're a wonderful troll. --Nufy8 23:55, 12 October 2005 (UTC)
What a piece of cruft! --Maru (talk) 04:40, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
- She'll make point-five past DSL speed. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, noob. I've made a lot of special scripts myself. But, we're a little rushed, so if you'll just pipe the link, we'll get out of here. --Nufy8 13:44, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
Hello, sir. --Maru (talk) 22:50, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
Which namespace?
All right, sockpuppets. Prepare your votes!
...
Stop that link!
Oppose 'em! --Nufy8 23:46, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
- Oh, my. I've forgotten how much I hate interwiki travel. Nufy8 00:18, 14 October 2005 (UTC)
Stay sharp! There are two more coming in; they're going to try and DoS us. --Nufy8 04:32, 14 October 2005 (UTC)
- Why don't you outrun them? I thought you said this thing was fast. --Maru (talk) 05:13, 14 October 2005 (UTC)
- Watch your text, noob, or you'll find yourself browsing home. We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyper namespace. Besides, I know a few tricks. We'll lose them.
- Here's where the fun begins! --Nufy8 14:34, 14 October 2005 (UTC)
- It'll take a few moments to get the destination port from the data-computer. --Nufy8 17:00, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- Traveling through namespace ain't like minor editing, boy! Without precise calculations we could link right into a deleted article or connect to the wrong namespace and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it? --Nufy8 19:22, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- We're losing our pipe. Go strap yourself in, I'm going to make the jump to TCP speed. --Nufy8 20:00, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
We've entered the MetaWiki server. --Maru (talk) 20:07, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- Governor Sanger, I should have expected to find you holding Willy's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board. --Nufy8 20:27, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- The more you tighten your grip, Sanger, the more wikis will slip through your fingers. --Nufy8 21:53, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- Not after we demonstrate the power of this bot. In a way, you have determined the choice of the wiki that'll be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Cabal wiki, I have chosen to test this bot's destructive power... on your home wiki of MetaWiki. --Maru (talk) 22:16, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- No! Meta Wikipedia is peaceful. We have no trolls. You can't possibly... --Nufy8 22:23, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- It's on Encyclopædia Britannica... I assure you, Lord Willy, the hidden Wiki Cabal is located at Encyclopædia Britannica... --Shauri smile! 18:22, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
- What? --Shauri 00:29, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- No! --Shauri 01:36, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
Are you all right? What's wrong? --Nufy8 02:31, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- I felt a great disturbance in the NPOV... as if millions of editors suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
- You'd better get on with your editing. --Maru (talk) 02:42, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- Well, you can forget about your troubles with those Imperial vandals. I told you I'd outrun 'em.
- Don't everyone thank me at once.
- Anyway, we should be at MetaWiki about oh-two-hundred hours. --Nufy8 04:21, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Deletionist. --Nufy8 04:38, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- That's 'cause bots don't push for policy change when they lose. Deletionists are known to do that. --Nufy8 04:51, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- Remember, a Wikipedian can feel the NPOV flowing through him. --Nufy8 19:43, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- Partially. But it also obeys your commands. --Nufy8 19:56, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- You don't believe in the NPOV, do you? --Nufy8 20:57, 16 October 2005 (UTC)
- Noob, I've linked from one side of this 'net to the other. I've seen a lot of strange text, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful criterion determining everything. There's no mystical principle that controls my destiny.
- I suggest you try it again, Nufy.
- Only this time, let go your contributing self and act on instinct. --Nufy8 13:53, 17 October 2005 (UTC)
- Your preview button can deceive you, don't trust it.
- Stretch out with your cursor.
- You see, you can do it.--Nufy8 21:56, 17 October 2005 (UTC)
- In my edit history, there's no such thing as luck. --Nufy8 13:55, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- You know, I did feel something. I could almost see the bot. --Nufy8 19:49, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
Yes? --Nufy8 20:25, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- Our nmap scout probes have reached Encyclopædia Britannica. They found the remains of a Cabal wiki, but they estimate from the Recent Changes page that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding IP subnets. --Maru (talk) 20:37, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- She lied! She lied to us! --Nufy8 21:33, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- Block her... immediately! --Nufy8 22:32, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
Stand by, Redwolfie, here we go. Cut in the softlink engines.
What the...? Ah, we've come out of namespace into a WikiProject. Some kind of policy collision. It's not on any of the articles. --Maru (talk) 23:23, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- What's going on? --Nufy8 23:26, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- What do you mean? Where is it? --Nufy8 23:26, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- What? How? --Nufy8 23:26, 18 October 2005 (UTC)
- The entire adminship couldn't destroy a whole wiki. It'd take a thousand sysops with more rollbacks than I've ever...
- There's another link coming in. --Nufy8 00:14, 19 October 2005 (UTC)
- It's an Imperial link. --Nufy8 13:30, 19 October 2005 (UTC)
- No, it's an external link. --Nufy8 00:44, 20 October 2005 (UTC)
- It'd be just as well to let it go. It's too far out of range.--Nufy8 03:35, 20 October 2005 (UTC)
A link that size couldn't get this deep into namespace on its own; it has to be a relative link. --Nufy8 03:46, 20 October 2005 (UTC)
- It must have gotten lost, been part of a directory or something. --Maru (talk) 05:38, 21 October 2005 (UTC)
- Well, he ain't gonna be around long enough to tell anybody about us. --Nufy8 14:05, 21 October 2005 (UTC)
- That's no page. It's a vandal bot. --Nufy8 17:40, 21 October 2005 (UTC)
- I have a very bad feeling about this. --Nufy8 23:58, 22 October 2005 (UTC)
- Why are we still connecting to it? --Nufy8 00:32, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- There's gotta be something you can do! --Nufy8 00:58, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- You can't disconnect. But there are alternatives to fighting. --Nufy8 01:11, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
Clear Drive twenty-three-seven. We are opening the firewall. --Maru (talk) 01:18, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
To your watchlists! Come with me. --Nufy8 01:23, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
Yes? --Nufy8 02:13, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- We've captured a link to the remains of the MediaWiki server. Its histories match those of a link that blasted its way out of #Wikipedia. --Maru (talk) 03:13, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- They must be trying to return the stolen sourcecode dump to the princess. She may yet be of some use to us. --Nufy8 03:15, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
Unlock one-five-seven and nine. Release charges. --Maru (talk) 20:58, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- There's no one on the link, sir. According to the logs, the crew piped the link after connecting. It must be a decoy, sir. Several of the redirects have been red linked. --Nufy8 21:04, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- No, sir. If there were any connected, they must have also red linked.--Nufy8 21:45, 23 October 2005 (UTC)
- Yes, sir.--Nufy8 02:04, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
- Get me a forensics crew in here on the double. I want every part of this link checked! --Nufy8 02:47, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
Boy, it's lucky you had these subpages. --Maru (talk) Contributions 21:24, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
- I use them for archiving. I never thought I'd be archiving myself in them. This is ridiculous. Even if I could connect, I'd never get past the 404 error. --Nufy8 21:40, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
- Leave that to me! --Maru (talk) Contributions 22:31, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
- Damn troll. I knew you were going to say that! --Nufy8 22:36, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
- Who's the more trollish... the troll or the fool who feeds the troll? --Maru (talk) Contributions 03:25, 25 October 2005 (UTC)
The link's all yours. If the grepers pick up anything, report it immediately. All right, let's go. --Nufy8 03:31, 25 October 2005 (UTC)
- Hey down there, could you give us a hand with this? --Maru (talk) Contribs 21:17, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
RAL-three-one-five, why aren't you at your post? RAL-three-one-five, do you copy?
Take over. We've got a bad talk page. I'll see what I can do. --Nufy8 21:48, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
- You know, between his chatting and your pinging everything in sight, it's a wonder any of the users don't know we're here. --Maru (talk) Contribs 22:14, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
- Bring 'em on! I prefer a direct connection to all of this anonymity. --Nufy8 22:56, 26 October 2005 (UTC)
- He says he's found the main server to the 404 error that's holding the link here. He'll try to make the precise location appear on the edit summary.
- The 404 error is coupled to the main server in several locations. A power surge at one of the servers will allow the link to work. Nufy8 05:04, 27 October 2005 (UTC)
- Whatever you say. I've done more than I've bargained for on this session anyway.--Nufy8 21:05, 28 October 2005 (UTC)
- Be patient, Nufy. Stay and watch over the bots. --Nufy8 16:44, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
- They must be delivered safely or other wikis will suffer the same fate as MetaWiki. Your destiny lies among a different path than mine. The NPOV will be with you... always. --Nufy8 17:54, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
- Ben is a great editor. --Nufy8 18:26, 29 October 2005 (UTC)
- I didn't hear you give any ideas. --Nufy8 01:56, 30 October 2005 (UTC)
- Who do you think...
- What is it?--Nufy8 02:21, 30 October 2005 (UTC)
- Well, who? Who has he found? --Nufy8 20:10, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
- The princess? She's here? --Nufy8 22:43, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
- Subpage five. Archive-topic AA-23. I'm afraid she's scheduled for banning. --Nufy8 05:24, 1 November 2005 (UTC)
- What are you talking about? --Nufy8 22:55, 1 November 2005 (UTC)
- Now look, don't get any funny ideas. The old man wants us to edit right here. --Nufy8 00:52, 3 November 2005 (UTC)
- I'm not going anywhere. --Nufy8 01:33, 3 November 2005 (UTC)
Clicking on a subpage is not what I had in mind. --Nufy8 01:53, 3 November 2005 (UTC)
- Better her than me. --Nufy8 05:43, 4 November 2005 (UTC)
- Rich? --Nufy8 04:29, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
- What? --Nufy8 06:06, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
- I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit! --Nufy8 06:41, 5 November 2005 (UTC)
- I better! --Nufy8 04:47, 6 November 2005 (UTC)
- All right, n00b, but you'd better be right about this. --Nufy8 05:11, 6 November 2005 (UTC)
- What's your plan? --Nufy8 15:53, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
- Uh... Pearle, hand me those page-protections there will you?
- Ok, now I'm going to put these on you.
- Don't worry, Red. I think I know what he has in mind. Nufy8 23:36, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
- Protect the page. --Nufy8 23:41, 8 November 2005 (UTC)
- That isn't very reassuring. --Nufy8 23:14, 9 November 2005 (UTC)
I can't see a thing in this sock. --Maru (talk) Contribs 01:38, 13 November 2005 (UTC)
This is not going to work. --Nufy8 02:03, 13 November 2005 (UTC)
- I did say so before! --Nufy8 04:20, 14 November 2005 (UTC)
Where are you taking this... thing? --Maru (talk) Contribs 05:58, 16 November 2005 (UTC)
- Protection move from article 1138. --Nufy8 15:55, 16 November 2005 (UTC)
- Look out! He's loose! --Nufy8 03:56, 19 November 2005 (UTC)
- Go get him! --Nufy8 04:19, 24 November 2005 (UTC)
- <wookiee call> --R e dwolf24 (talk) Attention Washingtonians! 04:26, 24 November 2005 (UTC)
- What happened? --Nufy8 18:51, 27 November 2005 (UTC)
- We're sending admins in.--Nufy8 01:49, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
- Who is this? What's your user name? --Nufy8 21:27, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
- Aren't you a little corrupt to be an admin? --Nufy8 18:31, 2 December 2005 (UTC)
- You're who? --Nufy8 04:01, 18 December 2005 (UTC)
- Adam Kenobi is here?! Where is he? --Nufy8 05:19, 18 December 2005 (UTC)
He is here... Nufy8 00:25, 19 December 2005 (UTC)
- A tremor in the POV. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. --Nufy8 23:43, 19 December 2005 (UTC)
- Don't underestimate the power of the NPOV. --Nufy8 03:42, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Governor Sanger, we have an emergency alert in subpage /twenty-one-eight-seven. --Nufy8 23:30, 21 December 2005 (UTC)
- Adam-Wan is here. The NPOV is with him. --Nufy8 00:29, 23 December 2005 (UTC)
- Logging out is not his plan. I must face him alone. Nufy8 18:51, 26 December 2005 (UTC)
Wolfie! Nufy8 08:14, 22 January 2006 (UTC)
Wolfie!
Get behind me! Get behind me!
Can't get out that way. --Maru (talk) Contribs 18:23, 30 December 2005 (UTC)
- Looks like you managed to disconnect our only escape port. --Nufy8 20:09, 30 December 2005 (UTC)
- Pearle! Pearle! --Nufy8 23:45, 31 December 2005 (UTC)
- We've been disconnected! Are there any other ways out of the subpage? ... What was that? I didn't copy! Nufy8 21:42, 1 January 2006 (UTC)
I said, all editors have been alerted to your presence, sir. The Main Page seems to be the only way in or out; all other outbound links from your namespace are filtered. --maru (talk) Contribs 05:04, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
- Open up in there! Nufy8 05:24, 4 January 2006 (UTC)
- There isn't any other way out. --Nufy8 02:55, 5 January 2006 (UTC)
- This is some rescue! When you connected here, didn't you have a plan for disconnecting? Nufy8 18:31, 7 January 2006 (UTC)
- Well, I didn't... --Nufy8 05:40, 15 January 2006 (UTC)
- Somebody has to save our skins. Into the deletion category, wise guy. --Nufy8 05:40, 15 January 2006 (UTC)
- Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you see! Get in there and don't worry about it.
- Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to block her or I'm beginning to like her. Get in there! Nufy8 18:34, 22 January 2006 (UTC)
Oh! The deletion category was a really wonderful idea. What an incredibly bad article you've discovered! Let's get out of here! Get away from there... --maru (talk) contribs 00:52, 29 January 2006 (UTC)
- No! Wait! Will you forget it? I already tried it. It's soft-protected! --Nufy8 01:04, 29 January 2006 (UTC)
- Absolutely, Your Worship. Look, I had everything under control until you connected us to here. You know, it's not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us. --Nufy8 03:45, 6 February 2006 (UTC)
- It's worse. --Nufy8 01:32, 13 February 2006 (UTC)
- That's your imagination. Nufy8 21:27, 19 February 2006 (UTC)
- What? --Nufy8 21:04, 26 February 2006 (UTC)
- Nufy! Nufy! Nufy! --Nufy8 22:20, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
- Block it, will you! My process was denied. --Nufy8 06:46, 26 March 2006 (UTC)
Where? --maru (talk) contribs 00:20, 28 March 2006 (UTC)
- Anywhere! Oh! --Nufy8
- Grab him!
- What happened? --Nufy8 17:35, 9 April 2006 (UTC)
- I've got a very bad feeling about this. --Nufy8 15:44, 10 April 2006 (UTC)
- Don't just stand there, try to block it with something. Nufy8 18:28, 27 April 2006 (UTC)
Take over! See to him! Look, there! Nufy8 00:33, 25 May 2006 (UTC)
- They're madpersons! They're heading for the blocking level. If you hurry, you might catch them. --maru (talk) contribs 00:23, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
- Follow me! You stand guard. Nufy8 02:36, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
Come on!
Oh! All this editing has slowed the connection of my counterpart here. If you don't mind, I'd like to take him down to IT. --maru (talk) contribs 03:27, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
- All right. Nufy8 02:08, 14 July 2006 (UTC)
Pearle! Come in, Pearle! Pearle! Nufy8 02:05, 14 July 2006 (UTC)
- I can't. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
They aren't here! Something must have happened to them. See if they've been protected. Hurry! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
One thing's for sure. We're all going to be a lot shorter! Get on top of it! --maru (talk) contribs 17:28, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- I'm trying! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
Thank goodness, they haven't found them! Where could they be? Use the Special:Emailuser? Oh, my! I forgot I turned it off! --maru (talk) contribs 17:28, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
Are you there, sir? Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- We've had some problems... Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- No, shut them all down! Hurry!
- Listen to them! They're being blocked, Rambot! Curse my faulty code, I wasn't quick enough! It's all my fault! My poor owner! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- One-three-three-seven. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
If we can avoid any more female editing, we ought to be able to get out of here. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Where are you going? Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Come here, you big newbie! Wolfie, come here! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Look, Your Arbitrariness, let's get one thing straight! I take requests from one person: me! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- No reward is worth this. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
Secure this area until the alert is canceled. --maru (talk) contribs 17:28, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Give me regular feeds.
- Do you know what's going on? Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
There she is. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- For the moment. Uh, we're in the main database across from the wikilink. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- You linked in that thing? You're braver than I thought. Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- It's them! Block 'em! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- Where are you going? Come back! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
- What good will it do us if he gets himself blocked? Come on! Nufy8 18:26, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
I think we took the wrong link. There's no back button! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Quick, we've got to get across. Find the control that extends the link. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Oh, I think I just reverted it. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Here, hold this. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- For luck! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Where could they be? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Remove the link! Revert! Revert!
Restore the link! Restore the link! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
I've been waiting for you, Adam-Wan. We meet again, at last. The connection is now complete. When I left you, I was but the newbie; now I am the mentor. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Your editing is sloppy, old man. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Didn't we just leave this discussion? What kept you? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Is the wikilink alright? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Look! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Now's our chance! Go! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Come on! Come on, it's too late!Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Blast the door! Noob! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
I hope the old man got that browser patched, or this is going to be a real short trip. Okay, hit it! We're coming up on the hyperlinks. Hold 'em off! Remove the wikification while I edit the page! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
I can't believe he's gone. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Come on, buddy, we're not out of this yet! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
You in, noob? Okay, stay sharp! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- They're linking too fast! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- We've lost related changes. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Got him! I got him! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- There are still two more of them out there! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- We did it! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Help! I think I'm thrashing! (to Rambot) This is all your fault. --maru (talk) contribs 02:07, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Are they away? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- You're sure their edit history is on their contributions? I'm taking an awful risk, Willy. This had better work. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Not a bad bit of editing, huh? You know, sometimes I even amaze myself. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- That doesn't sound too complex. Besides, they let us go. It's the only explanation for the ease of our escape. --maru (talk) contribs 02:07, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Easy... you call that easy? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Not this link, sister. Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- What's so important? What's he carrying? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- It is for me, sister! Look, I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well rewarded. I'm in it for the edit count! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- I care! So... what do you think of her, Hans? Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Good... Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- No! Nufy8 01:42, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
You're safe! We had feared the worst. When we heard about MetaWiki, we were afraid that you were... lost along with your welcomer. Nufy8 02:54, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- We don't have time for our sorrows, Project Leader. The vandal bot has surely tracked us here. It's the only explanation for the ease of our escape. You must use the information in this bot to plan the attack. It is our only hope. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Yes. Nufy8 02:54, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- We are approaching the Wikia system. The Cabal wiki is on a server on the far side of their subnet. We are preparing to iterate down the IP address list. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
The vandal bot is well coded and carries an editing power greater than half the administrators. Its defenses are designed around a direct large scale block. A small one-click link should be able to penetrate the outer code.
- Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are UDP requests going to be against that? --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Well, the Empire doesn't consider a one-click link to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defense. An analysis of the code provided by Princess Shauri has demonstrated a weakness in the vandal bot.
- The search will not be easy. You are required to read this block of code and skim each line. The target area is only two lines of code. It's a small sorting algorithm, right below the main algorithm. The algorithm leads directly to the main program functions via an exception handler. A precise wipe will start a chain reaction which should destroy the bot.
- Only a precise wipe will set up a chain reaction. The algorithm is well-written, so you'll have to use the delete key. Nufy8 02:54, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- It's not impossible. I used to erase iterations in my permlink back home. They're not much longer than two lines of code. Nufy8 02:54, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
Scanning the list at maximum velocity. The server with the Cabal wiki will be in range in thirty minutes. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Adam-wan and it will soon see the end of the Cabal. Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
All flight editors, man your pages. All flight editors, man your pages. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
So, you got your reward and you're just leaving then? Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- That's right, yeah! I got some old TODOS and bounties I've got to pay off with this stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you? Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good in an edit war. I could use you. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Come on! Why don't you take a look around? You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a good editor like you. You're turning your back on them. Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- All right. Well, take care of yourself, Hans. I guess that's what your best at, isn't it? Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
What's wrong? Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Oh, it's Hans! I don't know, I really thought he'd change his mind. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- He's got to edit his own articles. No one can choose them for him. Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Nufy! I don't believe it! How'd you get here... are you going out with us?! Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Are you... Nufy? Have you been checked out on the Firefox v. 1.5.06 UDP requests? Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- I met your welcomer once when I was just a noob; he was a great editor. You'll do all right. If you've got half of your welcomer's skill, you'll do better than all right. Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- I've got to get aboard. Listen, you'll tell me your stories when we come back. All right? Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- You did, all right. It's going to be like old times, Nufy. We're a couple of shooting stars that'll never be stopped! Nufy8 22:39, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
This Rambot of your seems a bit beat up. Do you want a new one? --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- Not on your account! That little bot and I have been through a lot together. You okay, Rambot? Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
- Hang on tight, Rambot, you've got to come back.
- You wouldn't want my wikilife to get boring, would you? Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
Stand-by alert. DeathBot approaching. Estimated time to vandalizing range, fifteen minutes. Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
- Editor Ten standing by. Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
- Editor Three standing by. Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
- Editor Nine standing by. Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
- Editor Eleven standing by. Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
Lock revisions in revert position. --maru (talk) contribs 21:56, 10 September 2006 (UTC)
- We're passing through their firewall.
- Hold tight! Switch your pop-up blockers on. Double front! Nufy8 16:24, 13 September 2006 (UTC)
SW Project Leader, this is Novel Leader. --maru (talk) contribs
- I copy, Novel Leader. Nufy8 17:24, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
We're in position. I'm going to scroll across the page and try and draw their blocks. Nufy8 17:24, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
Heavy blocks, boss! Twenty degrees. Nufy8 17:24, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
- This is Editor Five; I'm going in! Nufy8 17:24, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
- I got a little lagged, but I'm okay. Nufy8 17:24, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
We count thirty Cabal editors, Lord Willy. But they're using such short IPs that they're evading our range-blocks! --maru (talk) contribs
- We'll have to destroy them link to link. Get the crews to their blockers. Nufy8 17:24, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
Nufy, let me know when you're going in. --maru (talk) contribs
- I'm on my way now... Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
- I'm on it. Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
Project leaders, we've picked up a new group of links. Enemy blockers coming your way. --maru (talk) contribs
- My browser's negative. I don't see anything. Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
Keep up your visual scanning. With all this pinging, they'll be on top of you before your firewall daemons can pick them up.
Hart! You've picked one up... watch it! --maru (talk) contribs
- I can't see it! Where is he?!
- He's on me tight, I can't block him... I can't block him! Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
Several links have broken off from the main group. Come with me! --maru (talk) contribs
Pull in! Nufy... pull in! Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm lagged, but not bad. Rambot, see what you can do with it. Hang on back there. Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
- There's a large lag zone on this side. Editor Five, where are you? Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
I can't shake him! --maru (talk) contribs
- I'm on him, Nufy! Hold on! Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
- Good blocking, Zscout! Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
SW Project Leader...
This is Novel Leader. We're starting our attack connection. --maru (talk) contribs
- I copy, Novel Leader. Scrolling into position. Nufy8 22:23, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
Stay in attack configuration! --maru (talk) contribs
- The line of code is... marked and locked down!
- Switch power to primary pop-up blockers.
- How many autoblocks do you think, Editor Five? Nufy8 02:15, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- I'd say about twenty blocks, some on the frontpage, some on the subpages. --AK-17 20:22, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
VandalBot will be in range in five minutes. --AK-17 20:24, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
Switching to searching function. Nufy8 21:59, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
Search completed. Receiving a result. --AK-17 21:18, 14 November 2006 (UTC)
- The blocks - they've stopped! --Gwern (contribs) 21:53, 14 November 2006 (UTC)
- Stabilize your secondary pop-up blockers. Watch for redlinks. Nufy8 23:56, 14 November 2006 (UTC)
- They're coming in! Three IPs at namespace 2. --Gwern (contribs) 00:01, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
I'll block them myself! Cover me! Nufy8 00:11, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
- Yes sir! --Gwern (contribs) 05:37, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
I can't scroll! Nufy8 06:15, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
- Stay on page... --Gwern (contribs) 20:03, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
- They're too close! --AK-17 21:25, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
- Stay on page... --Gwern (contribs)
- Scroll up! --AK-17 21:25, 15 November 2006 (UTC)
- Novel Five to SW Project Leader, lost Jaxl, lost Sum0. --Gwern (contribs)
- I copy, Novel Five. Nufy8 01:02, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- They came from behind... --Gwern (contribs) 03:54, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
We've analyzed their 'sploit, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your link standing by? Nufy8 04:10, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- Reboot? In our moment of closing? I think you overestimate their chances! --Gwern (contribs) 04:28, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- Cabal page, three minutes and closing. --Nufy8 04:42, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
Novel group, this is Novel leader. Rendezvous at line six character one. --Gwern (contribs) 04:57, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- This is Novel Two. Skimming toward you. Nufy8 16:11, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- Novel Three, standing by. --AK-17 20:24, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- Novel Leader, this is SW Project Leader. Keep half your group out of view for the next skim. Nufy8 21:11, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- Copy, Main Page One. Nufy, take Novel Two and Three. Hold up here and wait for my signal...to start your run..... This is it! --Gwern (contribs) 21:19, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- We should be able to see it by now... --AK-17 21:58, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- Keep your eyes open for those blockers! --Gwern (contribs) 22:45, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- There's too much lag!
- Novel Five, can you see them from where you are? Nufy8 23:08, 16 November 2006 (UTC)
- No sign of any... Wait!
- Coming in line three five. --AK-17 19:18, 11 January 2007 (UTC)
- I see them. Nufy8 20:30, 11 January 2007 (UTC)
- I'm in range.
- Target's coming up!
- Just hold them off for a few seconds. --AK-17 14:47, 31 January 2007 (UTC)
Clean up code formation. Nufy8 20:35, 31 January 2007 (UTC)
You'd better edit fast. --AK-17 21:42, 13 February 2007 (UTC)
- Almost there! Nufy8 23:25, 13 February 2007 (UTC)
- I can't delete them! --AK-17 21:42, 13 February 2007 (UTC)
It's processing! --AK-17 15:44, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
- It's a hit! Nufy8 22:27, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
- Negative!
- Negative, it didn't hit the body text! Just reverted the introduction. --AK-17 15:25, 16 February 2007 (UTC)
- Novel Leader, we're right above you. Skim to line... oh-five; we'll cover for you. Nufy8 17:15, 16 February 2007 (UTC)
- Stay there...
- I just lost my semi-protection.
- Get set to execute your deletion program. --AK-17 20:10, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
- Cabal wiki, one minute and closing. Nufy8 20:48, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
Hart, Zscout, let's tighten up that code. We're going in, maximum connection speed. --AK-17 16:18, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
- Right with you, boss. Nufy8 17:28, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
- We'll stay far enough back to soft-protect you. --AK-17 23:01, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
- My browser shows the text block, but I can't see the line of code! Are you sure the program can delete it? Nufy8 23:04, 20 February 2007 (UTC)
- Watch yourself! Increase bandwidth, full connection! --AK-17 14:42, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
- What about the text block? Nufy8 14:44, 21 February 2007 (UTC)\
I'm lagged! I can't stay with you. Nufy8 17:17, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
- Get clear, Zscout, you can't do any more good back there! --AK-17 17:49, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
- Sorry! Nufy8 17:52, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
Let him go! Stay on the leader! Dac 22:38, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
- Hurry, Nufy, they're connecting much quicker this time. I can't ping them! Nufy8 22:46, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
- Rambot, try and increase the connection speed! Dac 06:57, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
- Hurry up, Nufy!
- Wait! Nufy8 21:39, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
Cabal wiki, thirty seconds and closing. Nufy8 21:49, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
- I'm on the leader. Dac 21:43, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
- Hang on, Rambot! Nufy8 21:49, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
- Use the NPOV, Nufy!
- Let go, Nufy. Dac 10:40, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
- The NPOV is strong with this one! Nufy8 14:49, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
- Nufy, trust me. --AK-17 15:19, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
- His bot's off. Nufy, you switched off your assisted bot. What's wrong? Nufy8 17:11, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
- Nothing. I'm all right. Dac 22:14, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
I've lost Rambot! Nufy8 22:29, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
The Vandal Bot has cleared the server. The Vandal Bot has cleared the server. Dac 23:13, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
Cabal wiki, in range. Nufy8 01:15, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- You may ACK when ready. Dac 02:47, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Commence primary transmission. Nufy8 02:55, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
I have you now.
What?! Dac 03:45, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Look out! Dac 05:34, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- You're all clear, noob.
- Now let's block this thing and go home! Nufy8 05:43, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Standing by. Dac 06:18, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Great deletion, noob! That was one in a million. Nufy8 05:43, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Remember, the NPOV will be with you... always. Dac 06:32, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
Nufy! Nufy! Nufy! Nufy8 06:45, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Hey! Hey! Dac 09:05, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- I knew you'd reconnect! I just knew it! Nufy8 16:15, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Well, I wasn't gonna let you get all the credit and take all the reward. Dac 22:48, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Hey, I knew there was more to you than edit count. Nufy8 23:30, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
- Oh, no! --Gwern (contribs) 00:49, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
- Oh, my! Rambot! Can you hear me? Say something! You can debug him, can't you? Nufy8 02:24, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
- We'll get to work on him right away. --Gwern (contribs) 00:49, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
- You must debug him! Sir, if any of my functions or algorithms will help, I'll gladly contribute them. Nufy8 02:24, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
- It'll be alright. --Gwern (contribs) 02:39, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
CREDITS
[edit]Originally written and directed by George Lucas.
Rewritten and converted by:
Starring:
- Nufy Vandalwhacker as Luke Skywalker
- Adam-Wan Kenobi as Obi-Wan Kenobi
- Hans Blix as Han Solo
- Willy on Wheels as Darth Vader
- Princess Shauri as Princess Leia
- Uncle Bomis as Uncle Owen
- Aunt Maru as Aunt Beru
- Pearle as C-3PO
- Rambot as R2-D2
- Redwolf24 as Chewbacca
- Larry Sanger as Grand Moff Tarkin
- Jimbo Wales as Emperor Palpatine
- Zscout as Wedge Antilles
- Jon Hart as Biggs Darklighter
- Ral315 as TK-421
- Sollog as Greedo
- Mr. Treason as Jabba the Hutt
- Jaxl as Tiree
- Sum0 as Dutch
And AK-17 as Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Conversion (yet)