User:Phbrownacmorg/sandbox/csc125fa21/Shrinking Prose

Shrinking prose for the Web

Original text

It was not until the fifteenth century, at the dawn of the age of ocean navigation, that Europeans systematically began to venture south, the Portuguese in the lead. In the 1440s, Lisbon's shipbuilders developed the caravel, a compact vessel particularly good at sailing into the wind. Although rarely more than a hundred feet long, this sturdy ship carried explorers far down the west coast of Africa, where no one knew what gold, spices, and precious stones might lie. But it was not only lust for riches that drove the explorers. Somewhere in Africa, they knew, was the source of the Nile, a mystery that had fascinated Europeans since antiquity. They were also driven by one of the most enduring of medieval myths, the story of Prester John, a Christian king who was said to rule a vast empire in the interior of Africa, where, from a palace of translucent crystal and precious stones, he reigned over forty-two lesser kings, in addition to assorted centaurs and giants. No traveler was ever turned away from his dinner table of solid emerald, which seated thousands. Surely Prester John would be eager to share his riches with his fellow Christians and to help them find their way onward, to the fabled wealth of India.

Words: 210

Shortened text

Only in the 15th century did Europeans began to sail south regularly. In the 1440's, Lisbon shipbuilders began to build caravels, compact ships that could sail into the wind. These ships allowed explorers to sail far down the west coast of Africa.

The lure of riches—stories of gold, spices, and precious stones—was one reason that drove the explorers. Another reason was solving the ancient mystery of the source of the Nile. A third was the story of Prester John, a Christian king who was said to rule a vast kingdom in the African interior, wealthy beyond the dreams of Europeans.

Words: 101

Changes

• Split into two paragraphs to clarify the structure.
• Shrank much description
• Added outbound links for detail and credibility
• Added bolded keywords to further indicate structure

Observations on shortening

• Focus on the main ideas. This has the happy side effect of making you figure out what the main ideas are, and how the ideas in the original passage really relate to each other.
• Reusing words is normally OK. Unlike paraphrasing, normally with shortening you are shortening your own work, so they're your words to start with.
• Add outbound links for context. These allow you to leave out the lesser details—people who want more detail can follow the links.