User:Vera, Chuck & Dave/Sandbox
Charles Hawtrey and The Deaf Aids[edit]
Charles Hawtrey and The Deaf Aids, were a successful Merseybeat group from Liverpool England. Their one and only hit single was: "I Dig A Pigmy" written by master songsmith John Lennon of The Beatles. It went on to become the biggest selling single of all time. Sales peaked at 300,000,000 by 1983 alone. The royalties received kept Charles Hawtrey in enough sherry until the day he died. The Deaf Aids however, were not as fortunate and had to go off and form a small pub group by the name of Oasis.
Before his sad demise in 1897, Hawtrey had worked as a Dockers Hook at the Albert Dock in Liverpool. But with him being a fragile sort of lad, the scouse Dockers could find no real use for him. One day he was captured whilst scoffing a jam buttie and put on board a Tea Clipper bound for London where he was used by the Cockney swines at the Royal Albert Dock as a Depth Gauge.
A change of fortune[edit]
One day, the young Hawtrey was being dunked in the river Thames by a huge West Ham supporting Docker, when a voice called out, "stop that forthwith, you working class person, unhand that poor lad!". A bemused and half drowned Hawtrey looked up with gratitude into the eyes of the kindly man who had put an end to the Cockney swines sadistic pleasure. The kindly man then rounded on the Cockney swine admonishing him futher by adding: "I have never seen such a Carry On in all my life, begone Cockney swine, return no more to harm this talented frail boy!" Helping Hawtrey to his feet, the kindly man introduced himself as Talbot Rothwell. "Oh hair lair", replied Hawtrey removing the hemp dunking rope from around his neck. "I am a playright of great standing, (said Rothwell) but now I have decided I want to make some ackers, come dear boy to the nearest alehouse, where I shall ply you with pints of sherry". The young Hawtrey was somewhat suspicious, but followed the kindly mister Rothwell to the Red Lion, where Blue Watch were having their breakfast.[1]