This is a user sandbox of Zachary.dent. A user sandbox is a subpage of the user's user page. It serves as a testing spot and page development space for the user and is not an encyclopedia article.

Wikipedia's Achilles article for ENGL2111

Sandbox for Zach Dent.

Analysis of Article

The paragraph I chose to revise needed more authority with a wider vocabulary. It could have also used more information on the subject of Achille's funeral games for Protroclus, and some grammar change. More wikilinks could be added to pilot readers into further information about the topic or what's in bold. The following category could be added:

Weapons and Armor

Reading List

A numbered list of all your readings go here. Use the following format:

Alexander, Harriet Semmes. (1984). American and British Poetry: A Guide to the Criticism, 1925-1978^[1]

"Weapons And Armor<Str></Str>." (2011): Credo Reference Collections. Web. 2 Oct. 2015.^[2]
Hanson, Victor Davis. (1993) Hoplites: The Classical Greek Battle Experience ^[3]
Puchner, Martin. (2012) The Norton Anthology of World Literature. ^[4]
Louden, Bruce. The Iliad: Structure, Myth, and Meaning. ^[5]
Erickson, Chris. The Poetics of Fear: A Human Response to Human Security. ^[6]

Revised paragraph from article

Original

Copy and paste an original paragraph from your Wikipedia article here.

After receiving the news of the death of Patroclus from Antilochus, the son of Nestor, Achilles grieves over his beloved companion's death and holds many funeral games in his honor. His mother Thetis comes to comfort the distraught Achilles. She persuades Hephaestus to make new armor for him, in place of the armor that Patroclus had been wearing which was taken by Hector. The new armor includes the Shield of Achilles, described in great detail in the poem.

Revised

Your revised paragraph goes here.

After receiving the gruesome news of Patroclus' dreadful death from Antilochus, the son of Nestar, Achilles grieves over his greatly beloved cousin's death, and holds a vast amount of funeral games in his honor. The first games at the funeral had the fanciest prizes. The first of the games was chariot racing and other games included boxing, wrestling, a footrace, archery contest, iron throwing contest, armored battles and spear throwing contest. Distraught Achilles, is then comforted by Thetis, his mother. Thetis persuades Hephaestus to design new and improved armor for him, in place of the armor that Patroclus had wore, which was taken by Hector. The new armor includes the Shield of Achilles, described in great detail in the poem through vivid use of imagery.

Original Contribution

One of the key themes in Homer's poem The Iliad, was warfare. The Greeks viewed weapons as an extension of a warrior, measuring importance, bravery, and heroism. In the Iliad Hector carries an eleven cubic foot spear, with a lustrous bronze tip secured with a golden ring. Achilles was known to wield an enormous spear of Pelian Ash. This spear was said to be too colossal and heavy for any other Achaean to hold. Most Greeks defensive weapon of choice was the shield. The most common type of shield was equally rounded, and made of several layers of ox hide, wicker frame and an outer layer of bronze. The Greeks offensive weapon of choice is the spear, which could be carried singly or in pairs. The spear during this time period was called a dory. The spearhead for the Greeks was normally leaf shaped or curved on both sides. The spear or dory was always used before the sword was drawn. Next the sword, made of bronze, drawn only when the spear is out of hand, was used to cut and thrust into enemy flesh. All Greeks carried double-edged swords, which was warn in a scabbard and hung between the shoulder and the left hip. Armor for Greek warriors wore included a helmet and corslet. Both items were made of bronze on outside and leather on the inside. Helmets were made in a variety of shapes and sizes, but its main purpose was to protect attacks to the head and face. In many Greek poems, helmets are embellished or decorated by a tail made of horse hair. The corslet is a crescent shaped plate covering the breast and abdominals.

Notes

^ Alexander, Harriet Semmes (1984). American and British poetry : a guide to the criticism, 1925-1978. Manchester: Manchester University Press. p. 163. ISBN 0-7190-1706-8. Retrieved 5 May 2015.
^ "Weapons And Armor<Str></Str>." (2011): Credo Reference Collections. Web. 2 Oct. 2015.
^ Hanson, Victor Davis. Hoplites: The Classical Greek Battle Experience. London ; New York: Routledge, 1993. Web. 2nd October 2015
^ Puchner, Martin, gen. ed. The Norton Anthology of World Literature. 3rd ed. Vol. F. New York: Norton, 2012. Print.
^ Baltimore, Md.: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006. Web. 26th October 2015.
^ New York: Continuum, 2010. Web. 26th October 2015.

This code lists and numbers all your references at the bottom of your sandbox page.

[1] Alexander, Harriet Semmes (1984). American and British poetry : a guide to the criticism, 1925-1978. Manchester: Manchester University Press. p. 163. ISBN 0-7190-1706-8. Retrieved 5 May 2015.

[2] "Weapons And Armor<Str></Str>." (2011): Credo Reference Collections. Web. 2 Oct. 2015.

[3] Hanson, Victor Davis. Hoplites: The Classical Greek Battle Experience. London ; New York: Routledge, 1993. Web. 2nd October 2015

[4] Puchner, Martin, gen. ed. The Norton Anthology of World Literature. 3rd ed. Vol. F. New York: Norton, 2012. Print.

[5] Baltimore, Md.: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006. Web. 26th October 2015.

[6] New York: Continuum, 2010. Web. 26th October 2015.

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]