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User talk:AFishInThePercolator/sandbox

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Assessment of Article Draft[edit]

Revisions necessary

Your page is off to a good start, but I do have some questions.

You have included a section (almost 100 words) called "Direct Cinema vs. Cinéma Vérité,” but you don't tie this in directly to your subject, Zwerin. It feels out of place at the moment.

You should either re-write this section to clarify how Zwerin’s work is specifically related to this, or else cut it. You should also link to the existing Wikipedia articles on these topics: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cin%C3%A9ma_v%C3%A9rit%C3%A9 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Direct_Cinema

In any case, I think this is an excellent start, but if you cut this section you definitely need to add more prose.

Lastly, you need to make it clear how your text will fit into the existing page on Zwerin.

--110laurent (talk) 03:29, 22 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]