User talk:Aasherian/sandbox
Your first sentence is very clear and provides an understandable definition of the topic. to improve the sentence I might say, "...a major Jewish denomination characterized by..." or "based on..."
This sentence: "Progressive Judaism was started by Rabbi Abraham Geiger in Germany and spread to America in the 1800s." should be placed earlier in the paragraph because of its importance. Maybe you could integrate it into the sentence that starts, "It was founded during the French Revolution..." also, the sentence following is repetitive of the same information.
The lead section gives context and background. it explains significance. it does not include controversies, though it is possible that there are not significant controversies regarding Progressive Judaism. Maybe you could think about how Progressive Judaism is perceived by Hasidic Jews as well as other non-tangental religions or specific examples of acts against Progressive Judaism. My suggestion is hardly informed, but maybe it will lead you in a good direction. minor note: add a link to words like "halakhah" "feminism" "conservative jews" "orthodox jews" and all significant pronouns—do this throughout your article.
The lead sections provides a good summary of the rest of the article. detail is proportional. the tone is effectively neutral.
Your table of contents is organized and a good map of the article.
- your lead section goes before your table of contents and should not be under a subheading*****
- MAJOR EDIT** your first paragraph should focus on the origins of Progressive Judaism during the French Revolution and the creation of Progressive Judaism by Rabbi Abraham Geiger. You should also include the early development of Progressive Judaism in both Germany, France, and anywhere else that its presence was prominent. In your first paragraph you give the context of time by including "it was founded during the french revolution," but if Progressive Judaism was not prominent in France during its early development the reader might be confused why you mentioned the French Revolution.
Your Post WWII paragraph is informative, well organized, and well written.
"This is what sparked its growth and popularity" be more specific by saying, "sparked growth and popularity amongst...." (specify what groups of people and where it gained popularity)
Your Reform in America sections starts off poorly, but the rest of it is informative, well organized, and well written. The first paragraph of the section is abrupt and not completely understandable without context. A transition is needed.
I didnt finish reading. You have written a really good article. Keep going.
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