User talk:Abbeynick
| This user is a student editor in Oregon_State_University/HST_310_The_Historian's_Craft_(Winter_2020) . |
Welcome![edit]
Hello, Abbeynick, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:59, 12 February 2020 (UTC)
Claire Waggoner Peer Edit[edit]
My Feedback:
- How could your peer improve the lead? Hi Abbey! My biggest point of emphasis in this review is to make sure that you outline your Wikipedia page like we went over in class and are instructed to do in the assignment document, including: A Section Title (which you have), a lead, two headings, references, a see also section, external links, and visual media (or a picture) if you choose to do so. I think the current substance of your lead in good, but I would make sure to not simply but a dash between your dates, and to actually use the word "to" in the middle. The first sentence could probably also be reformatted.
- Is the overall article structure clear? I think the overall article structure is pretty clear! I think you cover the topic well, explaining their points of emphasis of the conference. Some points could potentially be expanded upon, as I do not believe you are close to going over the word count.
- Is there balanced coverage of the topic? Is the tone neutral? I think you do a good job covering the event as a whole and keep a neutral voice throughout it. I would try and link more of the people to other wikipedia pages if you can so (given out word restriction) people can look them up to provide themselves with more context.
- Are the sources reliable? Currently, other than your preliminary biography for class, I do not see that you have linked any sources. You can do this by clicking the citation button in your sandbox, and either entering the URL of your website page or entering any printed sources you may have manually utilizing their citation maker feature.
- What proofreading or writing suggestions do you have to improve the article? When proofreading it, I would make sure you have proper spacing between your sentences, it appears as it the formatting got kind of weird. There are also a couple places I noticed that should be capitalized that are not, such as Jefferson City in the first sentence, and then it seems that there were a few spots I noticed that could use a comma that do not currently have one.
- What other things would you add or fix in the article? I would just make sure you format it correctly. I think you have a lot of great substance to your writing itself here, just make sure you think your information to your sources. Figure out a way to create two different section headings in which you can divide your information into. Also, for the mandatory external links page, I simply put in the link to the website from which our primary source documents are from where you can access all of them. This seemed like a logical step to take for this. I hope this helps!
ClaireWaggoner (talk) 20:00, 13 March 2020 (UTC)
Prof. Smith comments on first draft of Wikipedia article[edit]
Hi Abbey,
As Claire has mentioned above, the article really needs to be put in proper format with all of the necessary components: the lead, at least two subject heads, External Links, References, and a See Also section. Be sure to follow the template that I handed out in class as it has detailed information about how to do all of this formatting.
I would also like to see you find at least one more source for the paper. Remember that you need at least three, total.
The content of the article is good and you cover the key themes well. I just want to see you extend your analysis by adding more headings so that not all the information is squished together in a single paragraph. For instance, you could have a heading called "Corruption in Public Schools" and another called "Normal Schools for African Americans." Breaking the article out into different important themes, and then going into more depth on each of those themes, would improve the article a great deal.
Finally, were African American women involved in the convention at all? Our partner website, the Colored Conventions Project, really wants us to add material on women whenever possible. Please check your minutes again on this point and include information on women if possible.