User talk:Abdulazizjalthani/sandbox
Sara Buhadoud Peer Review.
[edit]You have a strong introduction paragraph to your topic, I read it and I knew what was ahead. Even after reading the whole article I thought that everything was linked to the main paragraph. However I wanted to see more coverage on different regions of the world, instead of just writing about American and British movies during World War II, it would be interesting to know how these other countries film industry operated. Furthermore, I thought the list of movies produced during World War II was extremely long, it would make it better if you mentioned famous or well known movies of the different time periods. The references used seem reliable, you used many journal articles and they also worked when I clicked on them. You used different sources and integrated different point of views, thus making your article content neutral. Overall your article is well structured and well written, and you had a balanced coverage under each subheading.
AlAnoud's Peer Review
[edit]Lead
Your lead section introduces your topic clearly and concisely. It reflects the most important information and is linked to sections mentioned in the article.
Structure
The sections are organized well and are in a sensible order, I believe each leads to the other in a reasonable order.
Balance
The sections you included in your article were important and necessary, as they are crucial subsections to this topic. I believe the section’s length you included was equal to its importance to the subject.
Neutral
The article is neutral, as you are just stating facts and giving examples. The article does not draw conclusions and try to convince us readers to accept one point of view.
Sources
Sources used to support statements in the article are journal articles which are reliable sources, they clearly reference the claims in the article.
Overall
You did a great job with your article, however, I feel like you were focusing on the US and UK more than any other region, I think it may be interesting if you talked about other countries, if you don't wish to do that may be clearly state that in the title? Good luck! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Alanoudalattiya (talk • contribs) 07:14, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
noor al Thani review
[edit]lead - there isn't a clear lead in this article, the article starts off with a subtopic instead of a lead to explain what the overall article about. my recommendation is to write a lead with a description of what "Film Industry During World War II" is and then go into the pivotal subtopics.
structure - the structure of this article is separated very well, the article first goes to explain the "Hollywood Propaganda during World War II" and then goes on other subtopics, but at the end of the article, they did a great job with providing a list of films that were created at that time period.
Balanced coverage - I feel like they did a great job in trying to cover the most important topics of Film Industry During World War II.
neutral - This article is neutral, it does not have a bias tone. it just states a fact and backs it up with sources.
Sources - there is a great variety of sources provided in this article, all of the sources are properly cited in APA style. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nalthani (talk • contribs) 19:16, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
Prof. PK's Comments
[edit]There's a lot of great info here, and I appreciate that you have even added an image already! You have good sources as well. In fact, your biggest problem at present is your organization. The subsection headers you are currently using overlap one another and don't make much sense in terms of order. I noticed that you've also begun migrating sections to the "real" Wiki page and that doesn't make sense either; your section on "Hollywood Propaganda" should be under "Hollywood" not "Film" in general.
So, try to do some reorganizing, and consider adding in a few more citations; there are some points where you have several sentences with no citation to support them.
I am also rather confused by the chart full of films made during WWII in Hollywood. Why have one for Hollywood but not Britain? Also, it is not complete. For example, the film Stormy Weather, which I showed excerpts from in class, is missing. Where did you get this list? As some of your classmates pointed out, I'm not sure it's actually necessary...
Finally, have you considered adding sections for any other countries? Such as Germany?