User talk:AlejandraSantoyo1/sandbox
Peer Review
[edit]Female Artists’ Uncensored Artworks
- This paragraph introduces the concept concisely. It clearly gets the message across about the negatives of art censorship. The example of the artist emphasizes your point clearly, good job! Edit- wise I noticed simple grammar errors. Make sure the sentences are all in the same tense and deleting unnecessary 'and's and commas. Other than that, the main message is conveyed very well.
Censorship in Art Education and Art Schools and Public Art Displays
- This paragraph further carries the importance of art censorship very well. However, you mentioned "works of disturbation" in the first paragraph already and you didn't define it there. It would be best if the definition were in the first paragraph to introduce your concept even more clearly from the beginning. Instead of using "young children's education" or similar words maybe switch them out for words like "primary/ secondary education or higher education." This is more knit- picking but it would help your paragraph not sound too repetitive.