User talk:Aselevos
| This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/San_Francisco_State_University/Digital_Humanities_and_Literacies_(Fall_2017). Student assignments should always be carried out using a course page set up by the instructor. It is usually best to develop assignments in your sandbox. After evaluation, the additions may go on to become a Wikipedia article or be published in an existing article. |
Welcome![edit]
Hello, Aselevos, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:07, 27 September 2017 (UTC)
Heather's peer review[edit]
Lead Section: Seems like a good lead. I am a bit confused on the last sentence in that section: "Compared to Blood Orange's second album, Cupid Deluxe and his third album, Freetown Sound, Coastal Grooves received tentative results." What do you mean by 'results'? Do you mean the reaction of consumers and/or critics? Do you mean sales? Or is this last sentence in reference to the sentence before it (about the professional rating)?
Background: "Dev Hynes, also known as Blood Orange . . ." I believe you don't actually wish to italicize the name Blood Orange here, since it's referring to one of his monikers and not the title of an album/book/etc.? Also be sure to capitalize the 'c' in 'Lightspeed Champion.'
The sentence 'Before Blood Orange and Coastal Grooves . . .' is confusing to me because it makes it seem like 'Blood Orange' is an album name. Perhaps you simply need to say 'Before Coastal Grooves, Blood Orange was recording under different monikers . . .' etc.
"Hynes took a trip down to Los Angeles where he would meet producer with Ariel Rechtshaid to create the album." Minor issue with tenses & typo; probably best to keep it in simple past tense ('where he met with producer Ariel Rechtshaid . . .')
"The album seems to be inspired by transgendered icons such as Octavia St. Laurent as the album cover art features an androgynous model." Long sentence, so a comma after the name 'Octavia St. Laurent' would help, in my opinion. Also, I do NOT know if this is possible, but it would be great if you could add a picture of the album cover in the page. Please do check copyright issues to make sure this is allowed, though.
Overall, seems a good start, although a bit short. Can we get a track listing? Any more relevent details about the background to add? If there's enough information, maybe you could make a seperate section for Reception? Can you list all the people involved in the album's production? Are there other ratings from professional reviewers you can add? (Perhaps looking at other Wiki pages on music albums would help?) Digitalhumanitiestudent1 (talk) 01:09, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
December 2017[edit]
Hello, and welcome to Wikipedia. This is a message letting you know that one or more of your recent edits to Coastal Grooves has been undone by an automated computer program called ClueBot NG.
- ClueBot NG makes very few mistakes, but it does happen. If you believe the change you made was constructive, please read about it, report it here, remove this message from your talk page, and then make the edit again.
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- The following is the log entry regarding this message: Coastal Grooves was changed by Aselevos (u) (t) ANN scored at 1 on 2017-12-14T21:32:32+00:00 .
Thank you. ClueBot NG (talk) 21:32, 14 December 2017 (UTC)