User talk:Beaminglights
| This user is a student editor in West_Virginia_University/Technical_Writing_(Spring_2021) . |
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[edit]Hello, Beaminglights, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:32, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Article URL: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnstown_Flood_National_Memorial
Before I begin writing my edit, I would like to say that I feel this article needs more sources, as it currently only has one. I've included links to the sources I may use in the list below and will delete the ones I don't use after I complete my edit.
https://www.stateparks.com/johnstown_flood_national_memorial_in_pennsylvania.html
https://www.recreation.gov/camping/gateways/2780
https://www.npca.org/parks/johnstown-flood-national-memorial
https://www.loc.gov/resource/g3822j.ct007995/?r=-0.147,-0.016,1.206,0.52,0
Original: Johnstown Flood National Memorial commemorates the more than 2,200 people who died in the Johnstown Flood on May 31, 1889, caused by a break in the South Fork Dam, an earthen structure. The memorial is located at 733 Lake Road near South Fork, Pennsylvania,[1] about 10 miles (16 km) northeast of Johnstown. The memorial preserves the remains of the dam and portions of the former Lake Conemaugh bed, along with the farm of Elias Unger and the clubhouse of the South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club which owned the dam and reservoir. The United States Congress authorized the national memorial on August 31, 1964.[1]
Proposed Edit:
Johnstown Flood National Memorial commemorates the more than 2,200 people who died and the thousands injured in the Johnstown Flood on May 31, 1889. The flood was caused by a break in the South Fork Dam, an earthen structure known to be structurally lacking. The memorial is located at 733 Lake Road near South Fork, Pennsylvania,[1] about 10 miles (16 km) northeast of Johnstown. The memorial preserves the remains of the dam, portions of the former Lake Conemaugh bed, the farm of Elias Unger, and the clubhouse of the South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club which owned the dam and reservoir. Hiking trails connect various parts of the memorial, and picnicking areas are present throughout. The United States Congress authorized the national memorial on August 31, 1964.
Beaminglights (talk) 15:19, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
- @Beaminglights: Hi Nick, Dr. Sarraf here. Thank you for explaining the edit you'd like to make. Can you copy paste what the passage looked like before your edit, and can you somehow bold or explain the changes between the original passage and your addition? Please see other classmates' posts for ideas on how to format your peer review page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Skiv99!KjessJKT (talk)
@Beaminglights: Hi, I think it's good that you recognized that the article is lacking citations and gave a list of citations you will be using, just make sure they will credible citations that Wikipedia will accept for this article.
For your edit, I would provide the original version of the text your editing and then explain what you changed and why you are proposing your change, then give your proposed edit. Without an explanation, it's hard to know why you are editing. For example, you added, "Hiking trails connect various parts of the memorial, and picnicking areas are present throughout." (Beaminglights, "Wikipedia Edit",2021). I don't know if you added this to the article to give it more weight or not. However, your proposed edit does keep the tone of the article neutral and balanced which allows for the reader to still understand what they're reading without getting confused. Nate0023 (talk) 19:09, 25 February 2021 (UTC)