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User talk:Brittany Berliner

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Your Peter Pan edits

[edit]

Hi Brittany

Great work on your first edits! I do have some comments though, which I hope you won't mind:

- Family: you moved Mr and Mrs Darling in that section but they're not Peter's parents and therefore not 'family'. At the best, they should come under 'Friends'.

- New section entitled 'Love interests': I can understand why you did this, but calling all Peter's relationships with female characters actual 'love interests' might be construed as subjective, since they're only hinted at. Besides, including Maimie Hannering in the 'love interests' is a little weird, because in Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens, Peter is only a baby and Maimie a little girl... He proposes marriage precisely because he is an innocent, who doesn't understand the concept of marriage, not because of any romantic interest. He just thinks it's something one does with people you like. In my view, Maimie would be better placed in the 'Friends' section.

- Enemies section: 'James Hook' from the tv series IS Captain Hook, so there is no reason to list him as a separate enemy. That alternative should in any case be listed after the primary character. Peter has many other enemies, in particular all the other pirates which could also come under that heading.

One last thing: headings do not require capitalisation, except for the first word. Hope this helps! Good continuation. Stelmaris (talk) 13:26, 2 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]


Thanks so much! We'll edit the page according to your suggestions. :) Brittany Berliner (talk) 22:18, 7 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]