User talk:Candacelmurphy/sandbox
Abstract: I am not sure if this is a preferred manner of Wiki styling, but it seems as though many alternative names of the disease are usually listed immediately after the name of the disease in the very beginning. Other than that, it seems as though all the points (summary of disease, history of disease, alternative names, and statistics and demographics) were mentioned. This is a very well written abstract because I felt like I got whole, yet overwhelming picture of the disease. Also, if you want, you can add some of the information from the “History” section and add it to the abstract and get rid of that section or just add more the history section, but possibly reorder the sections, so history immediately follows abstract.
Mechanism: Appears to be missing?
Symptoms: Great list complete list of the symptoms/warning signs. If applicable, mention which are chronic or acute. In your list of features and characteristics, I noticed that many of the more difficult terms were linked, which is great! However, it would be good to describe of the less apparent features.
Diagnosis: I am not sure if this is due to a lack of readily available information on your topic, but diverge more on the diagnostic techniques, instead of stating it as “laboratory tests”. Is there any criteria or family/medical history available?
Cause and Prevention: Fantastic section on causes! This appears to be a very thorough explanation of all the genetic alterations that contribute to this syndrome, especially the chart summarizes this information very well. However, this section seems to be missing a “Prevention” section. I also believe you can link some of the genes with its Wikipedia pages. There are also some terms, such as “mutations,” “alleles,” and “locus” that could be linked to their Wikipedia pages since the general population might not be aware of definition of these terms, even though it seems simple to us.
Treatment & Prognosis: You mention that an interdisciplinary approach is used. However, what are some of these methods? Furthermore, is there any known information about the life expectancy, long term complications, and any use of holistic care?
Recent Research: anything available? Sarah.eunji (talk) 21:54, 11 November 2015 (UTC)
Hi, your abstract was good, I would just mesh the history portion into your abstract and delete the section just based off our rubric. Also I would link "heterogeneous disease" to it's wikipedia page. I didn't see a pathophysiology section, Symptoms section was good, I would just label the section as symptoms to make it easier for an average joe to quickly find what they're looking for. Also don't forget to specify if the symptoms are acute or chronic. Your diagnosis section was a good overview but I would elaborate on the tests, therapies, and how family/medical history plays a role in diagnosing the disorder. Your cause and prevention section was good, just link more wikipedia pages to vocabulary that may not be so simple for non-science folk. Also don't forget to add screening, possible prevention and risk factors to the section. You did a good job describing common treatments in the treatment section, don't forget to add life expectancy, long term complications, and holistic care if any information is available on it. Make sure to add a research section in. Lastly, just make sure there are appropriate citations where they are needed. Overall good job! Kmehta92 (talk) 21:13, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
- Delete the comments that are in the page material that you started with. You should be correcting those issue!
- Needs more citations.
- Mechanism is touched on a little in causes, but needs more elaboration and its own section.
- Treatment needs a lot more detail.
- Good explanation of causes.
- Missing recent research.