User talk:Christinamdegray
This user is a student editor in University_of_Houston/Foundations_of_bilingualism_and_ESL_instruction_(Fall_2018) . |
Notes
[edit]Hi! You have a good start here, but I do have some notes.
- The draft needs an lead/introductory paragraph akin to what you see at the beginning of the article at sign language. It basically identifies the topic and gives a brief overview of the article. Maybe something like this?
- The Seal of Biliteracy is an award granted by a school, district, or state in the United States of America "in recognition of students who have studied and attained proficiency in two or more languages by high school graduation."source
- You can add a sentence or two after that mentioning when it was first launched.
- Avoid point of view statements unless you're attributing them to the source material. For example, stating that the Seal is important is seen as an individual point of view because it asks the question "who thinks this is important". While the average person would likely be inclined to agree, you can't guarantee that every person coming in who is familiar with the Seal would have the same opinion - in other words, this should be attributed to the source material along the lines of "This person and that person state that the Seal is important because...". I'd also change the word hope to intent since the word hope can be seen as non-neutral and a bit passive. Intent is more neutral and is also more to the point and assertive, since this is what the Seal is meant to do.
- This needs additional sourcing to help back up claims, establish notability, and show a depth of coverage.
This could also be set up into sections like as follows:
- Introduction: 1-3 sentences about the seal
- More in-depth explanation as to what the seal does
- History of the seal
- Which states adopted the seal and when
- Reception to the seal (praise, criticism, etc)
I hope this helps! Have a good Thanksgiving! --Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:28, 21 November 2018 (UTC)
Hi! Thank you for your feedback. I will work on making the edits before the due date of the assignment.
Thank you again. Christinamdegray (talk) 03:38, 22 November 2018 (UTC)
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