User talk:Elizba/New article

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Please review my article for VSP Vision Care. For full disclosue, this is a managed vision care company where I am employed. I have been following the instructions about what to do if you organization doesn't have an article and it was recomended to be placed on a WikiProject talk page, but none exists for this type of article so the help instant messenger chat suggested I post on Peer Review. Please let me know if it belongs some where else.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Elizba (talk) 01:09, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

elizba

The problem is that peer review is for articles in article space (this is in your user space) so the peer review did not work. I will make a few comments below. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 12:04, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement.

• The article has no lead section. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
• Although the name is a trademark, articles do not use the ® symbol
• Article needs at least one image - could you take a picture of a store / location from the outside? The firm's logo could be uploaded in small size and low resolution and used in the infoibox (as WP:FAIR USE)
• Biggest problem is that the article has almost no references, and the refs it has are not inline (just external links). Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• Refs should be from thrid-party independent sources as much as possible - what news stories / articles in trade journals have appeared about this firm? See WP:RS
• Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• Article has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs and sectiopns that should be combined with others or perhaps expanded to improve article flow.
• There are too many external links and they do not meet WP:EL - inlcude only the most relevant links, this is not a link farm (some ELs may be able to be converted to refs)

There's a start. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 12:21, 26 February 2009 (UTC)