User talk:Ericli123
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Ericli123, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:47, 21 January 2020 (UTC)
Image without license
[edit]Unspecified source/license for File:ConnectinglinesMallory.jpg
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Notes
[edit]Hi! I have some notes:
- Be careful of tone, as you want to avoid a casual tone since Wikipedia uses a formal third person writing style. Part of this comes from concerns of original research, but part of the issue is that some of the content is kind of vague. For example, you write: "After spending years in Los Angeles, She moved to Portland, Oregon and started Her career more than 20 years ago." When did she move to Portland? How long did she live in LA? Was she born there? This needs to be clarified.
- Avoid subjective terms such as "impressive", as this will be dependent on the reader. Some may see it as impressive while others may see it as less impressive compared to other artists. We should only use subjective terms when we're summarizing what someone has stated in a source in an attributed sentence or quote.
- This needs more citations to back up claims, especially when it comes to interpretations of her artwork and information such as when she was born and other claims or bio information. Keep in mind that we can only summarize what has been explicitly stated in the source material. This leads to my next point.
- This looks to have original research, by which I mean claims and conclusions that you've made on your own. We can't have our own interpretations of the artwork, we can only summarize what others have written.
- Make sure that the content is accurate - I found that some of the material was incorrect, specifically the information about the wax and GladRags. She dipped the stuff in wax for a class assignment, not to improve the product. It was an easy fix, but just be careful.
I've cleaned up the formatting with some of the article - the main things to focus on would be reworking the artworks section and sourcing the awards, grants, and residencies section. Let me know if you need any further help with this. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:55, 25 February 2020 (UTC)