User talk:Kattiekattt/sandbox

Hello Kattie!

This is Sophia. I am reviewing your wiki edits. I did my page on gowns, so we are both in sort of the same realm of topics. I think my wiki has some similar issues, so I hope you don't take my comments too harshly. First, I noticed that some of your sources are from before 2013. A general rule is to use sources from the past five years so that the work is current. With fashion I noticed it was hard to find a lot sources, so I found that I did have more sources if I looked at sources over the past ten years. Still, I would go back and look for sources that are closer too the five year mark. Second, is also related to sources. Just do an in-text citation similar to how English papers have you make the () next to the sentence. To do that take the citation it generates for you and copy paste it to the end of the sentence or paragraph that you got the information from. Then it should generate the numbers in the correct spots automatically. Right now, I can't tell which information goes to what source. Third, I think your second paragraph is stronger than your first. This is because you talk about social and political implications of the brand in the 50's. The first one mostly talks about the history of Chanel and about the designs matter of factually. I would adjust that one so that it talks about social and political surroundings as well. Good things to research if you haven't would be women's rights and fashion/fashion trends or social economics of who got to wear that brand/styles and why those people may have chosen it. You could also talk about why her brand stood out compared to others and how social political climate heightened that. Fourth, although the second edit is titled critics it doesn't really delve deep into the criticism. I would try to emphasize what the critics say more in that paragraph. In it you mention that the fashion sold well which sort of contradicts the title, so make sure that criticism of the fashion is what is most recurrent in the text. Fifth, if you have more statics or numbers that you can pull into it, I would try to add those in. Make sure its from a recent source though. Six, make sure you close the paragraph off tightly with no lose ends.The end of paragraph two , "This lead to her iconic designs.", lead me wonder which iconic designs you were specifically referring too. However, that is a very small thing and I would focus on everything else I mentioned first. Finally, the tone of the edit felt neutral. I would try to keep this tone after you make changes.

Overall, I think you did a good first attempt. I will try to post more comments in a bit if needed. I felt like a lot of what you wrote I could implement similar things in mine. I learned a lot by just reading yours. Good Luck on the rest!

Best, Sophia Reynolds

Wiki Peer Review

Hi Kattie,

I am your peer reviewer looking over your article. So far I see you have a good concept and information. The one main thing I see you might have an issue with is the citations/references. I would instead put them near the information you got it from. Such as, after the sentence as if it were an in-cite text. Your content is overall pretty solid, however I do feel that your second paragraph is stronger, but I don't feel like it is focused on the critics. Overall, good job. Keep pushing!