User talk:Kbrackne/sandbox

Kbrackne,

After reading your article, I think that you are missing the definition of transsexuality. You mention it in the second sentence but you do not say what the definition is. You did do a great job at citing your sources which makes your article much more credible. "It was later down the road of time" might be best reworded into simply "Further on down the road" as this saying already implies the future. In your last sentence, you mention trans-masculine and trans-feminine having subgroups but you do not tell the audience what those subgroups are. I think that if you were to add the definition of transsexuality and at least mention the subgroups of trans-masculine and trans-feminine, your article will be a lot stronger and be more in depth. You have the makings of a strong article.

Kbrackne, You did a good job in marking key events in the history of transsexuality but it still felt a little choppy. Maybe by adding more details in between instead of just going from one major event to another would make it flow a little easier. Also going into definitions would help a lot too! Other than that, this is a very strong start to an article because it does mark very key events in the history of transsexuality. I know that this is going to be expanded further, so this is a great start. Chantellerodis (talk) 03:12, 16 November 2016 (UTC)