User talk:Kimndo

Welcome!

Hello, Kimndo, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:52, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

Welcome!

Greetings Kimndo and welcome (again!) to both Wikipedia and to COM482! I think Dim Tu Tac is a fine choice and it seems you've already added a bit of text to the article and some good references.

I think the hardest thing about writing about things like restaurants is that one typically likes (loves?) the subject of the article and maintaining a neutral tone is difficult. That's my main advice at this point. Good luck! —mako๛ 15:32, 19 October 2020 (UTC)

Feedback on your draft

Greetings Kimndo! I took a quick pass on User:Kimndo/Dim Tu Tac and I had some feedback for you:

• I mentioned this a concern in my last message here to you but note and neutrality seems to be an issue here. You need to be really careful that your work doesn't sound like an advertisement. Phrases like "employees work hard to deliver the promise of extraordinary customer experience and unique taste of food" doesn't sounds like a neutral, disinterested description. This extends to most of the text you've added.
• Almost all of the references you've added are to the website of the restaurant. This is a primary source. As you know, Wikipedia needs reliable sources that are secondary sources separate from the subject.

I know this is hard but you need to keep working on it before this is ready to publish. Imagine this way. Imagine that somebody hates Dim Tu Tac. Can you write an article that they could read and be like, "well, I may not agree with all the critics that love it, but that's a factual accounting." I'm happy to help and to talk more.

Please do a pass on your article as soon as you can to address these issues and then let me know. I'll give your article another pass before I give you the final go-ahead to make your article live. —mako๛ 20:12, 4 November 2020 (UTC)

Response to feedback

Hello Benjamin Mako Hill!

Thank you so much for your helpful and informative feedback!!!

• Tone & neutrality - I will work on them and try my best to pay extra attention during my pass on the article.

• Sources: I have been having trouble finding credible secondary sources (there are actually not even that many secondary sources) for this restaurant, which is why I relied so heavily on the restaurant website itself - I'm sorry! Since this restaurant is located in Vietnam and is not super well known outside of Vietnam, a lot of the secondary sources that I did find are in Vietnamese. Will you please advise on non-English sources and translations for Wikipedia writing?

Thank you! Hope you're having a great week! Kimndo (talk) 22:16, 4 November 2020 (UTC)

Second Pass Request

Hello again Benjamin Mako Hill!

Thank you again for all your help and feedback with my article today!!!

I've incorporated your feedback and suggestions. Will you look over it to see if I can work on anything else?

Thank you so much! Kimndo (talk) 07:25, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

@Kimndo: I've done an editing pass. I made many small changes and one bigger one. The big one is that I removed the first paragraph of the Team section because it felt (to me) too close to something the restaurant would say and it felt like WP:ADVERT/WP:PUFFERY. Maybe I'm being conservative here but it felt safter to not include it. In any case, I think this draft is very much improved and it's definitely ready to go. Go ahead and copy it over! Thanks for your work on this! —mako๛ 18:47, 6 November 2020 (UTC)

@Benjamin Mako Hill: Thank you so much for all your help!!!

Have a great weekend! :) Kimndo (talk) 23:05, 6 November 2020 (UTC)