User talk:Klmeyer13
PEER REVIEW
[edit]User:Mfontaine Your topic Haus of Gaga provides some additional information on this internationally known popstar. You keep your entry neutral and provide some comprehensive details about the subject. It might be helpful to provide links to Andy Warhol and Lady Gaga for those readers not familiar with these artists. If you check www.answers.com., you will find some additional information such as, whether it is Gaga or GaGa. MTV.com may be another additional source for you. When adding your photos, I suggest you credit the source to avoid copyright problems. You have clear headings and and listing and numbering the creative team members seems like an appropriate format.: You may want to look over the writing and develop some consistency in your descriptions and check for punctuation.: So far, the information you have provided is interesting, comprehensive, and unbiased. I look forward to the finished product. Mfontaine (talk) 21:51, 20 March 2011 (UTC)
Peer Review by mmbero122
[edit]Looks pretty good, just a few things to think about.
Writing: In a the Inspiration (Andy Warhol) and Creation and Collections sections, I see a need for more prose. The quotes are appropriate, but without original writing to explain the quotes it was a bit confusing to read. Another minor correction can be made to the numbering of the members of the Haus of Gaga. Member 5 and 6 are merged with member 4. The writing of the members list could improve greatly with a touch more of professional writing. I understand that it is a list, but complete sentences would sound and flow better in my opinion.
Comprehensiveness: Good. Everything looks to be included.
Research: Sources are provided, but not in the normal Wiki format. Citing is done at the bottom of the page in bibliographic form.
Neutrality: Good
Format: Sectioning is good, with the pictures it will be a good page.
Mmbero122 (talk) 16:26, 20 March 2011 (UTC)
Peer Review by Chaniel Nelson
Let me say first and foremost that I love Lady Gaga. She is one of the few that dares to be different and learning more about here is always exciting to me, so I may be a little bias about how amazing this page is, since I am such a huge fan! I think this page is going to turn out very nicely, it gives more information about the Gaga Empire. Some strengths are that there is background information about the Hous of Gaga and what it is. All the way down to the members and their jobs credentials. I also like how you give examples of Gaga’s unique style with visuals (that I know are not yet posted) and a description of the visual underneath. Another thing that I like is that the page has what Hous of Gaga is doing and its future endeavors. Some weaknesses are that there might not be enough information about the people associated with Hous of Gaga. When I read through the page I was hoping to know the title of the members and a little more information about them, i.e. where are they from, who else have they worked with, how did they become a part of this empire. Also I believe it would be nice to see more information about how Lady Gaga started out, just a little, so there is some more background information. I know that Lady Gaga’s real name is Stefani Germanotta, what made her change it and want to start the Lady Gaga Empire.
http://www.himho.com/stefani-germanotta-bio-27704/
I know a majority of your information is straight from the Hous of Gaga website which is perfect and has no bias opinion at all, just facts and information. So things that can be added or changed is the background information that you have, not just on Hous of Gaga but Lady Gaga herself. She was not always the powerhouse that she is today so expand on that. Why did the Hous of Gaga Empire even start? Does Gaga have plans of making the items in this collection available to the public? Who inspires Gaga’s fashion style? Things like this I am really interested in knowing and finding out about. I hope that this helps!
Chaniel Nelson (talk) 00:22, 21 March 2011 (UTC)
Peer Review
Content/Writing
The topic choice is clear and specific. This is very helpful for you to search related sources and make connections with the cultural phenomena and of course the popular Lady Gaga. The introduction is generally well-written. I can gain a clear understanding on what exactly is “Haus of Gaga,” given its very abstract name. You may consider make some sentence more specific, for example “These creations are brought together in combination with other creations and sound to create a complete collection for music videos and other appearances.” What is the other creations? Clothing? Hairs? What exactly are the other appearance? Consider providing an example, because not everyone is familiar with the Gaga style, although people around our age range have no problem with it. You are using a lot of direct quote from different people. You may consider edit that or rewrite that in a more neutral and formal sense. Wikipedia is different from news report and interviews, it would be helpful to summary the ideas from different people. This way, the information can be presented clearer.
Organization/Comprehensive:
Since your topic is very specific and focus only on one team of fashion design, I think the content you have for now is good. I do not see a clear outline, however. It can be more organized, for example, giving background information on the founding of the team before presenting the inspiration. More items can be added, such as giving a history of the team, development of the team, media coverage and social influence.
Research:
You have only 1 to 2 sources to refer to on each headline of the outline. You should research more in depth. Consider search for magazine and newspaper articles that mention about this team You can search in the UNC Libraries Catalog, type in key word such as “fashion design, lady Gaga” to find books or articles on related topic. Try E-Resource Tools and LexisNexis Academic for additional sources. You can also try Youtube to see if you can find some in-person interview. Since they have a blog, maybe you can comment on the blog for direct information from one of the member or staff.
Neutral?
The content so far is generally neutral. There is no comment made positively or negatively about the team. I think the only thing to fix is the direct quotation. If you re-write them out of quotation. It will sound more neutral. I suggest you consider write something related to the cultural influence the team made on society. This is still neutral but an interesting fact people might want to find out.
Formatted appropriate?
The format needs to be edited. It’s great you already plan to add photos. Please follow the Wikipedia style guideline to list a table of contents, a proper introduction, and headlines. I think the headlines are not suppose to be all caps. You may create chart or table for the section “Creations and collections” The list of sources need to also be organized and formatted. Hope this help. Thank you for reading. Ching.sun99 (talk) 03:28, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
It looks like your off to a really good start! I like the fact your talking about Lady Gaga's fashion, maybe it will help understand her strange personality. I can't wait to read more. A few suggestions I have are:
1. Maybe not give the personal information about the people that work in the Haus of Gaga just there job description maybe? I didn't see the point in it but I liked how you put the people that work for the company in here.
2. What got Lady Gaga started? What was her inspiration for these crazy creations?
3. Why was the comment about Andy Warhol in there? I didn't understand how that connected into your page. But as I read further down you say something about him having influences on The Haus of Gaga. Maybe you could have mentioned this before the quote by him? And give some more information on his influences on The Haus of Gaga.
4. Under the creations and collections section I thought you could make it clearer who said this? I wasn't sure who said it?
5. I liked how you put examples of her fashion. Maybe put links to some of it? But I think you said earlier you were going to put the pictures in a chart which I thought was a good idea. I also liked the music videos showing off the fashion I think it just shows how odd the clothing and accessories are different.
6. Is this a site where people can go and buy the clothing or is it just a site that you look at?
7. Is this even a real site because you mention that it isn't an official site?
8. Another thing I noticed was that it didn't seem like alot of information was given out recently about this site. Is it still up and working. Like what you said about the app that people could buy but you said because not a lot of activity had been posted on it and that it was deactivated.
I hope I helped out! I enjoyed reading you page! Tisham (talk) 00:21, 21 March 2011 (UTC)tisham
Having read the page on Haus of Gaga, I believe your group is off to a good start! As it relates to background information, your group has a lot of informative material, but I would include a short summary of how the Haus of Gaga came to be; this is very important to have in one's "background" information. It also would help if you briefly discussed Lady Gaga and her incredible career, for while most have heard of the performer, this information would add to the page's comprehensiveness for those who are not quite familiar with the artist. I really liked how you discussed what the Haus of Gaga is and who its members are. This allows readers to understand what they are about to read as they proceed along the page. However, I would reconsider how you discuss the members. Wiki pages usually consist of textual paragraphs as opposed to lists, so the paragraph format may be more appropriate here. It is very helpful how the group included graphic images/ videos of Lady Gag's style-- Readers can then visualize/ understand what they are studying through this page! They are able to see the wonderful creations in which yall are discussing. Going down the page, I became confused with Andy Warhol's quote. Maybe if you add a comment before the quote, readers will have an easier time understanding what the purpose of the quote is and how it strengthens your group's page. The page is well-researched since a lot of the information comes from the Haus of Gaga website. Also, the page appears to have no bias and it is formatted correctly. I hope this input helps you as you all proceed to make progress in the future! You all are off to a great start, and I look forward to reading more on the topic soon!MichaelHornsby (talk) 03:08, 21 March 2011 (UTC)
Well-written: its prose is engaging, even brilliant, and of a professional standard
There were some places where the prose was a bit confusing for me. (Just a quick little nit-picky sidenote, I noticed the word "distinctive" was misspelled). Under the Inspiration section, right before the quote is says "Katie." At first I was like who's Katie? Then I realized it's one of the group members' name. I'm guessing you plan on removing that for the final draft. Also under the Inspiration section I think it would be cool to go into a little more depth on just what about Andy Warhol inspired her. What values do they share? When/how was she introduced to Andy Warhol. Just maybe digging a little deeper, and trying to find more of a connection between them would really strengthen that section. I was a bit confused by the first part of the Creations and Collections section too. I'm not sure if you meant to type "apart" or " a part." If you meant to type "apart" then it should be followed by "from." I'm pretty sure you meant "a part" though, in which case I don't think you really even need to type that. I think it would flow better if you just had, "Creations and collections of “Haus of Gaga” include..." Also, I'm not really sure what the quote in that section has to do with Creations and Collections. That quote would go really well into a section that talked about the role each member of Haus of Gaga played in the success of Haus of Gaga...but where it currently is located doesn't seem to make much sense. Also, I'm not sure how Wikipedia feels about including an expletive or swearword even in a quote. You may want to check that out. It may need to be censored in some way before they'll allow it to be published. But other than those issues your prose seems to be quite informational and engaging. Good job.
Comprehensive: it neglects no major facts or details and places the subject in context [and what might be missing?]
I agree with the others that it would be nice to read about maybe a background of Haus of Gaga; about how the idea was formed, the steps taken in forming it, etc. But be careful not to go too much in depth about Lady Gaga herself because this page isn't about her. It's about Haus of Gaga. It would definitely be smart to have a link to the Lady Gaga page. All you have to do is put the words "Lady Gaga" in double brackets ,[[]], and when you hit save it should come out as a link to the Lady Gaga page. Also, I think it would be cool to have info on the roles of each member of the Haus of Gaga.
Well-researched: it is characterized by a thorough and representative survey of relevant literature on the topic. Claims are verifiable against high-quality reliable sources and are supported with citations; this requires a "References" section in which sources are listed, complemented by inline citations where appropriate [are there a variety of sources/viewpoints?]
I like how there is at least one source for each section. However, they are not cited in an organized fashion within the paragraphs. An easy way to do this is to click on the "Cite" tab when editing the page. Just enter the citation information and click "Insert." That way should save you a lot of time, and you won't have to sit and learn all of Wikipedia's complicated markup language. As far as the reliableness of the sources, the wikia.com one probably isn't the most reliable but the others seem great. In fact, there's probably a lot of information in those sources that aren't being used that could be included to beef up your page even more.
Neutral: it presents views fairly and without bias
I think a splendid job was done in maintaining neutrality. As long as you roughly stick to the outline you currently have without adding some potentially contreversial topic in there, I don't think you really have to worry about being bias. You're mostly just presenting facts as opposed to opinions so I think you're good there.
Formatted appropriated: it follows Wikipedia style guidelines.
To organize your outline in a more professional way go to edit your page and put two equal signs, then a space, then your heading (or title of one of your sections), then a space, then two more equal signs. (For example, "== Creations and Collections =="). And if you want to do a sub-heading do the same thing but with 3 equal signs. (Ex. "=== Haus of Gaga App ==="). Using the equal signs like that will bold the heading, divide the page up by sections, and it will give you the little blue navigating box at the top of your page that will show your outline. One last thing I would strongly encourage is fill your page with more links to other wikipedia pages. There was a lot of references to things in there that I was entirely unfamiliar with. In-line links are the best because you just click on the word you don't understand and it takes you to a page where you can learn all about it. And again, it's very simple. Just put the word/words or term in double brackets [[ ]]. Things I would suggest double bracketing, "Christina Aguilera", "Andy Warhol", "Warhol's Factory", "Universal Music Group", "iPhone", "iPod Touch", "The Fame", "Twitter", "Gagapedia", "Monster Ball Tour", and I think a lot of those fashion terms could use some in-line links as well. But overall I think this is going to be an awesome wikipedia page and I'm pumped to see how it turns out. I wish yall the best. Drsulliv (talk) 00:19, 22 March 2011 (UTC)
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