User talk:Leahbury/sandbox

What does the article (or section) do well? The article defines very well what is Bust and what is their marketing strategy and its commercial contain. It also provides examples of the type of advertisement that appears in the magazine

Agree with Ana's comments. I think you do a good job of creating a lead for the article, clearly backing up your findings with examples and citing the reliable source you used. StefanO (talk) 02:53, 27 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

What changes would you suggest overall? I think the article needs some more work. Maybe divide the information in different sections and add more information about each of them. You also need to add more sources of information.

I will also include some images of the magazine and maybe the most popular articles that have been published on the magazine and the links to them.

It is also good to show how popular is the magazine with graphs or tables that show maybe the number of subscriptions by year or something similar.

This sentence might have a little bit of opinion in its tone: “The advertisements that are featured in Bust prove that sex appeals can be used towards the consumerist goal of making a profit while also working towards the promotion of feminist ideals”.- Maybe you can try to rewrite it in a different way.

I would also recommend adding more sources, as well as adding more information to create more of a "balancing act". Maybe create a section discussing in further detail the typical Westernized, patriarchal framework versus the advertising Bust uses. Similar to Ana's comments, the last sentence doesn't seem very neutral StefanO (talk) 02:53, 27 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? Add new sections and more information about the topic. It also needs more reliable sources, as the article counts with only one right now.

Think the article is good and heading in the right direction. Would add more information, especially more detail on how it differs from the mentioned Westernized, patriarchal framework, and make sure to eliminate any biased tones (only the last sentence as of now). StefanO (talk) 02:53, 27 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? If so, let him/her know! I like the way you define the concept and the examples!

Not applicable to my work, but I thought the structure of the lead was really good, which is something I can incorporate. StefanO (talk) 02:53, 27 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]