User talk:Mcarvalho1/sandbox

Peer Review - Azaldir

That’s a nice start. You add relevant elements to the original article and use an encyclopedic tone.

Nevertheless, some of them might be a bit wordy. “There are many houses in the water that visitors are welcome to use canoes to reach and spend the night” for example might be split in two short sentences to be more easily understandable “There are many houses in the water. A popular activity for visitors is to reach them with canoes and spend the night in it” for example or something like that. Some sentences in your draft are too long and sometimes contains two different ideas. They should be rephrased to be more fluent (see for example the small changes I’ve made on your draft).

You should consider adding some data in the heritage tourism part to enforce your purpose (for example right after “Indeed, Rawlings' developed international cultural festivals such as PANAFEST as a source of income for Ghana through the promotion of tourism in Ghana. It proved to be effective.”) and perhaps a few pictures as well.

You’ve used only two sources so far (touringghana.com and The Predicament of Blackness Postcolonial Ghana and the Politics of Race). Consider using a few more sources in the future to express different points of view and perhaps making your draft more objective.

I have already rephrased some sentences on the original article but there are still a lot of them that would deserved to be reworded in a more scientific way (“Here we will explain methods of transportation that are unique to Ghana and other developing countries” in the “Transportation and Traveling in Ghana’s” part for example).

Otherwise your changes are interesting. You are on the right track!

Peer Review- Vic

I think you all are off to a great start. Your contributions to the original article are very insightful. However, as I read I noticed that there is not a section on any problems that tourists may run into. For instance, are the natives completely welcoming or are there only certain parts that a tourist would be able to visit? I believe that that is something to consider adding if there are in fact areas that aren't deemed "safe" for tourists. Looking forward to reading the final version. Best of luck. Vicdagoat (talk) 04:35, 6 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review- It is very insightful how you guys divided Ghana into its several regional areas and addressed why that area is important to tourism. However, in some sections I don't necessarily see why someone would want to experience tourism there. For example, wen you mention the "Northern Region", you simply acknowledge that it is the the largest region, which is not necessarily telling me how that relates to tourism. Altogether, the draft is starting off very well. Destinyw94 (talk) 12:28, 6 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review- This is a great article, however I would definitely like to see more content in the introduction because it was a little redundant in the one sentence provided. A suggestion would be to work on the flow of the article from one topic to the next. Overall great content, just work on the structural aspect of the article. Aaron Richards (talk) 20:03, 7 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]