User talk:Ml1624/sandbox

Overall, both sections of this draft are really good. I think you did a great job maintaining a neutral tone throughout, while still making strong points. In my edits I recommended rephrasing a few parts, and I think you could use more citations. Maybe you had the same issue I did though that when you posted your draft to your sandbox none of your footnotes posted. In addition to fixing small errors, I think you could make your points at the end of your Multicultural Literature section a bit more clearly. Since I am working on the section about censorship, I will add your case to the section once you are done with it. OlivierMalle (talk) 04:54, 23 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Mina, both sections of the project are excellent! Some minor grammar mistakes. You did a good job of writing neutral and giving both points of views on the banned bookcase. As Oliver mentioned, I also agree that some part of your draft needs more citations. Especially, the first case, I noticed that not all the information is cited and this might cause a problem for Wikipedia. Remember that in class we discussed that most sentences should be cited with reliable sources. Both drafts are clear; the banned bookcase fills the information gap between the book and gives a more recent history of the bannings of the book. Also, the section of the Multicultural Literature brings to light another perspective to the book. The only note I would provide for this section is that the ending should be more conclusive/clear. Despite, this small changes, Great JOB! Tamf787 (talk) 19:01, 29 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]