User talk:Scb422/sandbox
Excellent. Do a little tweaking based on peer review and feedback, but you did a very nice job with this. SarahEMC2 (talk) 12:25, 16 April 2015 (UTC)
Draft comments[edit]
Hi Scb422. I've made some edits to your draft, mostly fixing some formatting errors (Which were almost certainly not your fault, I've seen those problems before). My main concern is I'm not clear where claims in the article are supported by sources and where they aren't. The History of Cypriot Women section contains one source referenced at the end but it contains a number of interesting claims. If I were to read this article and wanted to find the study from "A study carried out in a farming community in the mid-1970s..." the article wouldn't be much help.
Other sections contain more citations but it is hard to tell where I would verify the information in the paragraph starting with "The occupational segregation of the sexes was still persistent in Cyprus at the beginning of the 1990s." (or the paragraph before that). Inline citations are how readers determine what to trust on wikipedia and how to verify material that they see. The current article (Women in Cyprus) doesn't have any references, so your work represents an improvement from that, but I would like to see a clearer link between the claims we are making in the article and the available sourcing.
Does that make sense? Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:33, 17 April 2015 (UTC)