User talk:Scohenioa

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20:04, 25 August 2017 (UTC)

Welcome!

Hello, Scohenioa, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 12:34, 31 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback

Hi Scohenioa. Nice work on your draft.

In terms of flow, I'd say that the Relations with Turkey and pipeline discussions section needs some work.

You started your second paragraph with "In addition". If you're starting with "in addition", you probably shouldn't be starting a new paragraph. If you're onto a new idea, you probably shouldn't start with "in addition".
"Rebond the alliance" is odd wording. Googling that specific phrase produces zero hits.
The Wikipedia style guide recommends that you should use "June, 2016" instead of "June of 2016".
Decisions are made by people, not things. You can't say that
"diplomatic relations decided to be normalized"
- "diplomatic relations" isn't a thing with a mind, it can't make decisions.
Phrases like
"thought to benefit"
are too metaphorical for Wikipedia. Stick to simpler wording.
You need to copyedit your work carefully. For example, an alliance isn't an opinion, so you can't say something like
"The alliance ... had previously been an unpopular opinion politically"
. Also pay attention to the order of words in the sentence - it should be "a politically unpopular opinion", not an "unpopular opinion politically".

These are just a few of the problems. While your content is good, your flow isn't. You also need to make sure that you are attributing opinions. Don't make factual statements in Wikipedia voice if the statement may at all be controversial. Attribute opinions to sources. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:57, 9 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]