User talk:Tessa.l.delzer/sandbox

For Tatiana: I think you will be able to find plenty of English language sources to help you expand this article. However, you can also use Google translate to read articles in French. Regarding notes, I have not required footnotes to articles, but you can certainly do that if you like. You would just need to learn how to format for notes. J.R. Council (talk) 20:57, 4 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
For Tessa: The sources you list look very good. You can get them through interlibrary loan. It's possible as a student you could get charged for the journal article. If that happens, I can order it for you. The Crabtree article relates to the influence of Faria, so that information can go into an influences section.J.R. Council (talk) 21:24, 4 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
For Hannah: Regarding sources, see my comment to Tatiana. I know you'll be able to find more material in French. If you can't find the sources, it's probably because the reference citation was incorrect. Try searching on the authors.
For Austin:See my comment to Hannah. For directions on how to construct an information box, type wp:infobox into the Wikipedia search box. J.R. Council (talk) 20:53, 7 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 5

First, some general comments. Great job, group! I am very impressed with how complete and well organized this is already. I can see that you've been working on properly formatting your article for Wikipedia. Good idea - you will need to do this eventually, and might as well start now. Comments on specific sections:

To-do list: Looks good. Appropriate level of detail for now - you'll be adding more. Some of this material belongs in the outline.
Outline: I think you're covering the basics here, but you can still organize your outline better. Adding details will make writing your lead section easier. See the handout on Editing Wikipedia articles on Psychology for how to organize an article about a psychologist.

Also, do a proper outline, like this:

I. Main topic

A. Subtopic

1. Sub-sub topic,etc.

References: Some reference citations are not formatted properly for Wikipedia. (Others are.) As you add text later, be sure to use the drop-down menu to attach reference citations in appropriate places and format references properly. I realize it's hard to find material. Have you tried looking for works in French and using Google translate? Also, I have some old books on hypnosis with material on Liebeault. You can xerox the material.
Task commitments: Good job on this as well. You should more detail about what you are doing specifically. J.R. Council (talk) 21:59, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 6

Nice job overall. I left some comments in the user sandbox. Without actually looking it up, I am pretty sure that Bernheim, not Liebeault, was the founder of the Nancy School. If I'm wrong, please send me a reference citation that shows this.

Only make statements you are sure you can back up. I'm not sure whether citations are necessary in the lead section, but don't write anything you can't cite a source for. Other than that, very nice job. Your information seems pretty thorough. I think Tessa's lead would be a good starting point. However, the discussion of the Nancy vs. Paris schools is confusing. There is at least one contradiction. J.R. Council (talk) 03:24, 6 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 7

Nice job Group 10. You have my green light to go ahead and develop the rest of the artice. However, there are some problems with the lead that need to be addressed:

You need to proofread carefully. Someone in your group who writes well should go over this carefully and correct poor grammar. Here is an example from the first sentence: "was a physician based out of France that is known" -- "that is" is incorrect, should be "who was". There are a lot of little mistakes like this.
You have some internal links, which is good. Need to add reference citations.

Also, I will note that this group complained about not being able to find material. I emailed and said I had some books with material on Liebeault you could xerox. Those books have been sitting out for a couple of weeks now and no one has come by to look at them. J.R. Council (talk) 02:39, 13 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 8

Very nice work, Group 10! You've worked hard on this and there is no need to add more content. Once you polish this up, it will be ready to publish. What this needs most of all now is careful proofreading! You also need to put your reference citations into proper Wikipedia format!
Comments on specific sections follow:

Lead: You have not responded to my feedback on Assignment 7: "You need to proofread carefully. Someone in your group who writes well should go over this carefully and correct poor grammar. Here is an example from the first sentence: "was a physician based out of France that is known" -- "that is" is incorrect, should be "who was". There are a lot of little mistakes like this."
Academic Career: Change section title to just "Career." Liebeault was not an academic, but a practicing physician.
Rest of article: This is good, but proofread and put references in correct format! J.R. Council (talk) 19:55, 21 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments on Assignment 9: See my comments on Assignment 8. The only thing you seem to have done is to change "Academic Career" to "Career." Until you take care of the rest of the problems, I can't send this to Ian. J.R. Council (talk) 02:37, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, this looks better now. I'm going to forward it to Ian. He has been getting out feedback on articles very quickly. J.R. Council (talk) 21:29, 3 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback

Looks good. I did a few copy edits and minor stylistic edits. A few other issues

"based out of France" is odd wording - why not just call him French?
You use a mixture of Liebeault and Liébeault. Since the existing article used Liébeault, I would recommend using that version consistently through the article.
There are some statements that can't be tied directly to a source - mostly at the end of a paragraph, after the last reference citation. Make sure that every paragraph (outside the lead) ends with a citation. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:53, 4 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]