User talk:Zorolee1997
| This user is a student editor in California_State_Polytechnic_University,_Pomona/Planning_Public_Infrastructure_(Spring_2018) . |
Welcome![edit]
Hello, Zorolee1997, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:00, 20 April 2018 (UTC)
Notes[edit]
Hi! Here are my notes:
- There seems to be too much content that isn't specifically about the Eshima Ohashi Bridge (EOB). For example, you have sections about another three other bridges. These aren't really pertinent to the EOB and there's no reason to mention them since they're completely separate things and have no link to one another other than you're comparing them. I would remove these sections from the article and only mention other bridges or projects if you have multiple sourcing that specifically ties them together.
- Be careful of tone. The following content is seen as an opinion statement and is too casual to include in Wikipedia:
- There are plenty of bridges all over the world, people might wonder what makes Eshima Ohashi Bridge so special. In fact, from the past to present, bridges have always been a most helpful and important infrastructure which not only provides opportunity of economic development,but also improve city’s quality of our neighborhood.
- Avoid wording like "our", "we", and "I", as these also come across as too casual. Another thing to keep in mind is that while bridges are certainly important, this is a fairly general statement and one that's assumed of all bridges. What you want to include is information akin to what's in the Japanese article, like length, what it connects, how long it took to build, and so on. On this note, I don't really think it's necessary to use such a large quote from a single person. I would instead work it into a general sentence like this:
- Due to its perceived steepness, the bridge has received the nickname of "roller coaster bridge" and has been compared to the video game Mario Kart.[1][2][3]
- Finally, be careful of source formatting. It looks like you're using source mode - I recommend Visual Editor personally and you can enable that here.
Other than that, my only other note would be that I would focus on expanding the article with information from the Japanese Wikipedia article - we do have a machine translation that I posted above that you should be able to work from. You should also be able to use the sourcing from that as well. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:05, 29 May 2018 (UTC)
- ^ "Rollercoaster Bridge (Eshima Ohashi)". Atlas Obscura. Retrieved 29 May 2018.
- ^ Ledbetter, Carly. "The Eshima Ohashi Bridge In Japan Looks Absolutely Terrifying". Huffington Post. Retrieved 29 May 2018.
- ^ "This bridge in Japan is like something out of Mario Kart". The Independent. 2015-04-29. Retrieved 2018-05-29.
- I just noticed that Ian (Wiki Ed) is in charge of your class, so I'm going to ping him here so he can respond with any other suggestions as well. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:06, 29 May 2018 (UTC)