Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Angel Locsin/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 10 August 2022 [1].

Angel Locsin[edit]

Nominator(s): Pseud 14 (talk) 17:39, 17 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Having previously worked on two Filipino BLPs, I chose to work next on Angel Locsin, a Filipina actress whose career in film and television include portrayals of superheroines and mythological creatures before transitioning into well-received romantic dramas and comedies. I have given this article a major expansion early this year and I feel ready to bring this to FAC. FrB.TG has been so kind to provide his expertise in BLPs to help me prepare the article for this nomination, and has provided suggestions, improvements and copyedits to polish it to its current form. Constructive criticism, in any form and from anyone, will be appreciated. Happy to address your comments and thanks to all who take the time to review. Pseud 14 (talk) 17:39, 17 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Images are appropriately licensed. Nikkimaria (talk) 01:54, 18 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support from NØ[edit]

  • If the mythological roles are in film and television as well, it might be better to write the second sentence as "She is known for her dramatic roles, and portrayals of heroines and mythological characters in film and television."
Done
  • "film and television" is repeated twice in the lead, so maybe the second usage could be trimmed.
Done
  • "the last of these is Locsin's highest-grossing release to date" - "these" could be replaced with "which" and the preceding semi-colon could be a comma
Done
  • Ref 4 should precede ref 8 in the sentence about her father's condition
Fixed
  • "She was then signed to a management deal with GMA Network" - Maybe say "She then signed a management deal with GMA Network"
Done
  • Since this is the English Wikipedia, I doubt many people would be able to understand the embedded external video and thus its usefulness. But I will leave this up to you.
Now that you mentioned it, it makes perfect sense to just remove it.
  • In the lead Darna is introduced as "the Ravelo Komiks Universe series" so this should be incorporated in the body as well.
Added
  • "described the production as "fresh" and "innovative"" - maybe the one-word quotes could be replaced by synonyms
Done
  • Any reason Nestor Torre Jr.'s full name is repeated?
Just realized that, only full name on the first instance, should be fixed now.
  • "and has been cited as one of the "greatest movie actresses" in the last decade" - attribution is always a good idea with claims of this magnitude
Attributed the list to Yes! (Philippine magazine) which is published/relegated to it's online site PEP.
Fixed
  • "From 2005 to 2016, Locsin was romantically involved with several high-profile personalities" - I would remove the word "several" here since it is subjective
Done
  • The paragraphs in the Personal life section could be merged since the second is currently too small and they seem to be thematically cohesive
Done
  • The release years for the films do not need to be repeated in the Acting credits and awards section as these are usually only introduced at first mention
Done
The article is grammatically perfect, well-researched and seems to present all viewpoints fairly (including her projects which received negative reviews), great work here! That will be all from me.--NØ 10:58, 18 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your kinds words and for doing a thorough and very helpful review MaranoFan. I have addressed above comments. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 13:28, 18 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

FrB.TG[edit]

Comments from ChrisTheDude[edit]

  • "She is known for her dramatic roles, and portrayals" - don't think that comma is needed
Comma removed
  • "She remained with of the series" - "with of"?
Thanks for catching this, fixed now. Should be remained with the series
  • "Locsin rejected the title role in television remake" => "Locsin rejected the title role in the television remake"
Fixed. Thanks for catching this omission
  • "Bayani San Diego of the Philippine Daily Inquirer drew similarities between [...] to that of" => "Bayani San Diego of the Philippine Daily Inquirer drew similarities between [....] and that of"
Done
  • "former midfielder Phil Younghusband" - I would say "former footballer Phil Younghusband" as people who don't follow football won't know what a midfielder is, and specifying his playing position is an unnecessary detail in this article
Agreed and changed.
Thanks for the helpful review ChrisTheDude. I have addressed the above comments. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 20:32, 22 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Aoba47[edit]

  • I have a clarification question about this: Locsin is reluctant to publicly discuss her family background. Is there a reason why she is reluctant to discuss her family or is it like how celebrities in general are less comfortable discussing their personal lives?
It's primarily the latter, where they're generally not comfortable discussing their personal lives. The sourcing only mentions that she was estranged and reasons for why that happened are have not been publicly discussed.
  • For this part, who later suffered complete blindness, I would use a different word than "suffered" as the current word choice sounds somewhat too melodramatic for Wikipedia.
Revised this. Went with "was later diagnosed with"
  • I believe the following sentence needs more clarification: During its premiere, Darna received the highest Nielsen ratings for a television series pilot episode with a reported 47.1 percent viewership. I am imagining this show does not have the highest Nielsen ratings for a television pilot around the world? The citation makes it sound more like the highest rating for that network.
I've clarified now that it is a Philippine TV series. For the second point, although the article only covers shows broadcast by GMA Network, there is a note before the listings that says AGB Nielsen's ranking of the highest rating in the Philippines, which applies to the pilot episode.
Done

I hope that my review is helpful. I have honestly never heard of this person before, but I still found the article to be very engaging. As the article's prose has already been reviewed by three reviewers, I have very little to add here. Best of luck with this FAC! Aoba47 (talk) 23:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your helpful review, Aoba47. I have addressed your above comments. Let me know if I missed anything or if anything remains unaddressed. Pseud 14 (talk) 01:25, 27 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for addressing everything. I support this FAC for promotion based on the prose. If possible, I'd greatly appreciate any feedback on my current peer review, but I understand if you do not have the time or interest. Either way, I hope you are doing well and have a great week! Aoba47 (talk) 02:28, 27 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your support, Aoba47. Sure, will have a look at PR this week. Pseud 14 (talk) 02:52, 27 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 02:59, 27 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Source review by Z1720[edit]

Version reviewed: [2]

Removed now, only used it as a secondary source.
  • Ref 69: Where in this source does it verify that this was Locsin's only release in 2013?
Reworded
  • Ref 79: Original link is a deadlink.
Archived link should be the main one now
  • Ref 85: I could not find an editorial masthead on their website. What makes ClicktheCity.com a high-quality source?
I thought about its use, since movie reviews are generally provided by contributing/freelance editors for the website. I believe it would be okay to quote commentaries from film critic Philbert Dy, who contributes for multiple mass-media outlets, including the site. And since the purpose of the citation is more on commentary, and not contentious/controversial claims.
Since the film critic seems to highly regarded in the Philippines, that will be sufficient to qualify as a high quality source.
  • Ref 113: Needs a publisher listed.
Added
  • Ref 121: Why is Metro not wikilinked?
This is a publication in the Philippines (which doesn't have a wiki article) and not related to Metro in the U.S.

Please ping me when the above are addressed. Z1720 (talk) 19:25, 5 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for doing the source review Z1720, I have provided my responses for the above. Let me know if there's anything that remains unaddressed. --Pseud 14 (talk) 02:12, 6 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Source review is a pass. Z1720 (talk) 02:15, 6 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Kavyansh[edit]

  • "Born in Santa Maria, Bulacan, Locsin began her acting career" — perhaps, should be mentioning about her education in the lead as well, at least that she was "educated at the University of Santo Tomas High School".
Added
  • "Angelica Locsin Colmenares was born on April 23, 1985 in" — missing MOS:DATECOMMA
Done
Done
  • ""I've learned a lot, especially as to how film acting should be done ... How you use your eyes, your position, and how you maximize camera angles ... I didn't know those things before," she said." — Avoid starting a sentence with a quotation. Same with ""You should not be limited to certain things", Locsin opined"
Tweaked for both
  • "Rappler's Carljoe Javier opined that" — our article does not italicize Rappler
Fixed
  • The values, US$3.7 million and US$3.3 million are of that time, or adjusted to inflation?
I've adjusted the values and included year parameter (per Template:To USD)
  • "in Marawi, Lanao del Sur to reconnect" — missing MOS:GEOCOMMA
Done
  • Do we really need a link to falling accident?
Unlinked

That is it! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 08:44, 10 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review Kavyansh.Singh. I have addressed the above comments. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. --Pseud 14 (talk) 11:40, 10 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@FAC coordinators: Apologies for the ping. I just wanted to get a status update for this nomination. Thank you for your time, and have a great rest of your week! Pseud 14 (talk) 19:24, 10 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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