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Dhaka

[edit]

Hi - I submit this article to your attention. Although its re-writing was rapid and may have some copyediting issues, I've made sure this article is comprehensive, informative, well-written and referenced. Rama's arrow 00:46, 28 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  1. Under Mughal rule, the city was known as Jahangir Nagar. -- somewhat confusing statement. Gives the impression that Jahangirnagar was an oldername, which is really not the case.
  2. Change the name of rasgulla and gulab jamun (whatever they might link to) -- that is not what they are called in Bengali. In fact that whole para is problematic, why is Asharh and Christmas in the same sentence, those are completely unrelated types of things. I am also quite unaware of any widespread festivals of Asharh.
  3. Similarly Habib Wahid is really a random example.

--ppm 16:06, 28 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I've cleaned those bits up. Rama's arrow 02:28, 29 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Provisional support. Only one thing...the latitude/longitude is in the body twice. I think it would be better if the practice that is rapidly coming a standard of putting it in an infobox or using the coor template would be better. Rlevse 02:06, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I've addressed that point, although I can't understand one thing - the coordinates are already in the infobox but not being displayed. Rama's arrow 02:12, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I fixed that for you. Your format was wrong, see the template's sample. Rlevse 17:56, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks! Rama's arrow 22:26, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object (see below) lot of holes. Take the first para of "Economy" for example. The liberation war reference is just hanging there with no support. Then a mall is called a "great economical boost for the nation." simply not brilliant writing. --ppm 19:44, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah I see what you're saying - will fix it immediately. Just to note - the mall sentence was a hangover from the article's old version. Completely missed my attention, sorry. Rama's arrow 20:16, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I've added a lot of new references. I think I've plugged most holes. Can you please give a fresh assessment? Rama's arrow 22:26, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment:
  1. Is it possible to change/add some photos? The Education sections's photo of BUET's EME Building is not very imrpessive, rather I'd suggest adding commons:Image:Curzon_Hall_Main_Building.A.M.R.jpg, which shows the historic Curzon Hall, a beautiful British-era building, used as the science faculty building of Dhaka University (which is the main educational institution of Dhaka). BUET is my own undergrad school, but I think the Curzon hall image is more appropriate here.
  2. For civic administration, can a photo of the "Nagar bhaban" of Dhaka City Corporation be added? There are plenty of photos of the building available at commons:Category:Dhaka. I'm not asking to replace the Sangshad bhaban image, rather want to know if a nice photo of the City corp building can be added. You can skip it if you find the number of images to be too many.
  3. What is the significance of Sadarghat image in the sports section? I think a photo of Dhaka Stadium would be good. If you can't find good free ones, you might look into Fair use images. I do have one image of a cricket crowd (England vs BD) in commons commons:Image:Dhaka stadium cricket Crowd.jpg. But the stadium image might be better in this section.
That's all for now. Thanks. --Ragib 21:00, 2 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]


  • Comments
  1. "The population of the Dhaka city stands at 6 million but the wider metropolitan area is estimated at 9.3 million." is this sentence grammatically ok? same quation abt "Dhaka has as many as 1,868 kilometres of roads"
  2. "A vast majority of the people of Dhaka are Bengalis from regions such as Khulna, Sylhet, Chittagong" what's so special abt these places? Dhaka is the capital, there r ppl from evrywhere
  3. "An undermanned and ill-equipped police force has caused governments to deploy the Bangladeshi Army.[19] In 2003, the government deployed 40,000 army soldiers to fight crime.[20]" -- reading the 1st sentence one might think the deployment is permament. the two sentences should somehow be combined. Also, more relevant perhaps is the deployment of RAB (rapid action batallion)
  4. The secretariat doesn't contain the supreme court, its seperate, both in Ramna.
  5. "Dhaka also suffers from a chronically high crime rate, civil disturbances, political and religious violence.[18]" though this personally seems abt right, the reference points to a particular event. Maybe tone down a bit.

--ppm 19:11, 5 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your input. I've addressed your points. Rama's arrow 22:00, 5 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments
  • History
  • "On August 15, 1947 East Bengal became a part of the new Muslim state of Pakistan". Can you confirm that it was August 15 and not 14th? Because Pakistan got independence on 14th, then why did East Bengal join on 15th?
  • "The city witnessed serious communal violence" - serious communal violence does not sound nice (IMO). Some other adjective could be used.
  • Geography
  • "covers a total area close to 815.85 square kilometres" - "close to" gives a sense of approximation, yet the figure is very exact (correct to 2 decimal places). "close to" could be removed.
  • I have made some changes to the section regarding units (basically adding &nbsp between the values and the units).
  • The lines starting from "The intensive development of the urban agglomeration is causing" could go into a new paragraph. There is no link between the two sentences and the topic suddenly jumps from climate to urban problems.
  • Civic Administration
  • "Dhaka Education Board is responsible for administering all public schools with the exception of English-medium" - Are the English Medium schools run by some other board? Or are all english medium schools private?

I've still to review the sections after civic administration. Will put my "vote" after a complete review. - Aksi_great (talk) 17:00, 6 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed your points. The partition of India took place officially on August 15, but Pakistan had formed its government on August 14 - the reason why Jinnah chose to celebrate the 14th. In any case to avoid confusion I've shortened that sentence. Rama's arrow 20:50, 6 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • More comments
  1. Dhaka college deserves mention, first instituition of higher education in the nation.
  2. "Dhaka is located in southern Bangladesh" - I would think its really in the middle
  3. grammar check - "Dhaka boasts a greater literacy rate and the largest number of schools, colleges and universities in Bangladesh."
  4. "While posing a major danger to ecosystems, pollution is increasingly a public health hazard."--maybe rephrase
  5. "Bangladeshi women wearing white with red linning (mostly) sarees" - is it that prevalent? I would think so-called Bashanti color also has a good share. anyway
  6. "with hundreds of thousands of Muslims attending prayers in almost every city mosque" -- each mosque housing hundreds of thousands of muslims, surely a slip of pen, neverthless funny :)
  7. demographics - is any breakdown of religious groups available?

In general copyediting needed. The article changes its tone from a (for want of a better term) outsiders view - as the reference to "people from chittagong etc in dhaka" I previously mentioned to a too-much-detail-view, like mention of "Anik" as a means of transportation in dhaka. look out for more of these.--ppm 18:03, 6 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed your fresh points. As you suggest I will do another review looking for similar problems. I could not find any statistic on city religious makeup (just national). Rama's arrow 20:50, 6 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • More comments from Aksi_great
  • Transport - "Dhaka has as many as 1,868 kilometres of roads" is not a correct sentence. "Highway links and public bus services to Kolkata and Agartala have been established and run by the Bangladesh Road Transport Corporation." does not seem correct. How about "Highway links to K & A have been established by BRTC which also runs regular bus services to those cities from Dhaka.
  • Demographics - "The continuing growth ... in the 1980s" is a very long sentence. Try splitting it into 2.
  • Sports - The sports section could do with a bit of re-organising. The setion starts with "Dhaka has the distinction of having hosted the first official test cricket match of the Pakistan cricket team in 1954 against India". Though an interesting fact, it is a very poor opening sentence. In fact, the sentence could also be shifted to the sub-article, but I don't insist on that. The section should atleast start with which sports are popular. "Cricket and football are the two most popular sports in Dhaka and across the nation" is the second sentence of the second para. It should probably be the first sentence. And then all the details about stadiums and players.

That's it from me. I will take a look again once these points and other points mentioned by Shmitra are addressed. As I am not from Bangladesh, I can't judge whether the article is comprehensive enough. But from where I look it seems to meet WIAFA. It would be great if you could ping Tony, Sandy or Spangineer to take a look at the article too for checking the prose. - Aksi_great (talk) 12:35, 7 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed your fresh points. Thanks for the review - hate to point the obvious but you don't have to be a Bangladeshi to judge. However, a dude like Shmitra has given great insight owing to his own experience. Rama's arrow 14:35, 7 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for taking care of my points. - Aksi_great (talk) 07:12, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments:
  • "sewerage system"—I've never heard this, but m-w.com has. Just confirming that it wasn't meant to be "sewage system"; either is fine.
  • "this serves only 15 percent of the population while another 30 percent are served with septic tanks.[14] Only 25% of the city's population is connected to the piped sewerage system, and only two-thirds of the households are connected to water." These statistics appear to be contradictory: 15% "served", but 25% "connected". Slightly better flow in this paragraph would be helpful (any studies connecting use of open latrines to infectious disease death rate?). The jump from disease to crime is a little jolting.
  • Missing any connection: "New urban developments have resulted in a real estate and construction boom in recent years. The main business districts of the city include Motijheel, Pantapath and Gulshan."
  • Same thing: "Housing and construction, the production of textiles and garments, chemicals, food and a wide variety of consumer products takes place throughout the city. The construction of high-rise buildings and skyscrapers are changing the city landscape." Try to put all of the boom/growth stuff together, followed by industries and their locations.
  • Conflict over the number of rickshaws—as many as 400,000, but then only 320,000 running daily. Perhaps use numbers only in one of the two sections?
  • Where does the 15 million in the lead come from? The population section basically says that there are 6 million within city limits, and another 3 in the metropolitan area (for a combined total of 9 million).
  • Any image experts out there who could make the Curzon Hall picture have a flat horizon?
Nice job with this—the main problem I see is that the flow of the text isn't quite optimal. Read through it and ask at every period whether or not the thing before it and the thing after it are related somehow. --Spangineeres (háblame) 21:38, 7 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I've reorganised several paragraphs and sentences throughout the article according to your points. Please do have another look. Thanks, Rama's arrow 02:19, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Looks better. Support. --Spangineeres (háblame) 03:21, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure what you mean - almost every fact is referenced. If you really think there is a problem, please provide some examples so I can fix the issue. Rama's arrow 02:19, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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