Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Enugu/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Karanacs 13:41, 20 October 2010 [1].

Enugu[edit]

Enugu (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Ukabia - talk 17:25, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating Enugu for featured article because I believe it has what it takes to be on the front page judging from its Good Article review. The article has as much information as there is possible for each subject, there aren't much reliable references and research tools focusing on the subject, especially online, so it is a bit smaller than other featured city articles, but I believe the article is engaging and is very informative. Ukabia - talk 17:25, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment—no dab links, no dead external links. Ucucha 17:34, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Driveby comment: I'm not really seeing the need for File:Enugu 100 logo.png. What's it adding to the article? The celebrations aren't even mentioned, let alone the logo itself. J Milburn (talk) 17:37, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I guess it may be a bit too decorative, but it does relate to the city's history marking the 100 years passed from it's incorporation. Ukabia - talk 18:40, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
It should be removed. I think it's going to be rare that city articles warrant NFC. J Milburn (talk) 11:48, 3 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, removed. Ukabia - talk 14:40, 3 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • a few quick comments
    • The lead could use a thorough readthrough to improve flow and it's summary function for the article, including:
      • "It is located in the southeastern geopolitical section of Nigeria and it is largely populated by members of the Igbo ethnic group, one of the largest ethnic groups in Nigeria." ==> Replace geopolitical section(?) with "area" (or explain the geopolitical sections later). Second "it" can be removed. First "ethnic group" can be removed (Igbo should be ok as a stand-alone name).
      • "Enugu lies on what was originally the Nike (English: /niːˈkeɪ/ nee-kay) village of Ogui; a layout (neighbourhood) in the city still retains this name." ==> Nike are explained only later in 2nd paragraph - would it be possible to move that sentence there and merge it with the second paragraph?
      • "Enugu has long..." ==> Since when? Can a year or century be given? (the history section is vague as well on this point).
      • "before the establishment" ==> when? Lead should "stay on its own", so i'd suggest to add atleast the dates of the most important historical events.
      • "Today there is no significant coal mining in the city." ==> Add a "left" or "remaining" at the end of the sentence or even better merge it with previous sentence and it's related context.
      • "There are a range of industries" ==> "range"?, consider rewording awkward phrase.
      • "Enugu's main airport...., which is being upgraded to suit its international status." ==> tone and/or slightly inaccurate. The transport section states, that the upgrade is for "wide-bodied aircrafts", not for "status". Reword in a more neutral manner.
    • The article itself is informative and, as far as i can tell, comprehensive. I would like to see some more images as a reader of a town article though (maybe the stadium, a government building, a university, the main road, ... - anything to give a better visual of that town would be most welcome).
I have contacted some of the sources with pictures of the city. I'm waiting for their reply. Ukabia - talk 15:05, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Hope those suggestions help with your FA nomination, i'll try and look deeper into the main text later. (GermanJoe (talk) 15:01, 3 October 2010 (UTC))[reply]
Thanks, I've done everything, but I don't know when the Nike settled the Enugu area. Most sources just say they became relevant when the Atlantic slave trade started around the 17th century. I'm not sure what to write. Free images are also hard to get. Ukabia - talk 18:35, 3 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Any more comments? Ukabia - talk 03:11, 6 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • The section "government" deals a bit too much with the state level for my taste. From my understanding the article focus is on the city not the state, so the state information should be trimmed to the really essential bits, all the rest (election dates, governor name, ...) belongs in the state article. Still checking for some minor tweakings in the main text, though i will most certainly not alter structure and content itself.
  • For images have you tried contacting people on your source websites? Seems like some of them have really nice ones, though i have no idea how their copyright situation is.
  • If you can find a 3rd person for a complete readthrough, i'd definately recommend it. The prose is ok, but could use polishing from a more experienced English editor. GermanJoe (talk) 09:54, 6 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • some rough edges' to attend to
    • Religious affiliation? Given the history of the country, this is rather important
Done. I put a sentence in the Demographics section about the religion of the majority. There haven't been any notable events regarding religion in this city as everyone mostly of the same faith. Ukabia - talk 15:05, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Politics- What about seats in the federal and state parliament. Which party/ideology is strong here?
Done. I've added information about the Local government chairmen being the representatives state wise and then information about the federal representatives. I added the political affiliation of the federal representatives and the governor. Ukabia - talk 19:40, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Referencing: If you use a book multiple times, you should list the book separately at the bttom and in the inline notes only use "Udo, p. 4." as an example. See Wally Hammond
Done. Ukabia - talk 15:05, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Ukabia - talk 15:05, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Economy - The Nigerian Coal Corporation has been based in Enugu since its creation in 1950 where it controls coal mining". ==> Should it be past tense "controlled"? The linked article states, they went almost bankrupt. GermanJoe (talk) 19:11, 7 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've changed it to 'controlled'. Ukabia - talk 15:06, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • sports: "The stadium remained ... until the Nigerian-Biafran War broke out, leading to the stadium's damage. At the war's end the stadium was refurbished." ==> Citation 92 doesn't state the damaging part, also the link between war damages and refurbishments is not given explicitly in the source. Could you find a more detailed source or match text with source more closely?
Done. I removed the information that implied war damages. Ukabia - talk 20:00, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • sports 2nd para: Too many details about the Rangers, though i am sure they are great :). Consider trimming and maybe even combining both sports paragraphs into one para (both deal with stadium and it's inhabitants). GermanJoe (talk) 19:00, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've trimmed the details about Enugu Rangers and have combined the paragraphs. Ukabia - talk 20:00, 8 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • header "Modern History": all following paragraphs are modern history. Consider replacing, maybe "Industrialization"?
Renamed to ;Industrialisation'. Ukabia - talk 23:06, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • section "Climate": Replete with heavy showers.... Too detailed - rain and dry period are obvious terms (linked to sub articles anyway). Sentence should be removed.
Removed. Ukabia - talk 23:06, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • section "sports": "Association football is the most popular sport in Enugu". This should be sourced, if possible.
I couldn't find any reliable sources, so I removed the sentence. Ukabia - talk 23:06, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • i changed a few phrases to improve choppy sentences. GermanJoe (talk) 21:02, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - an interesting article on an often-neglected topic, but unfortunately I don't feel it's quite up to FA standards

  • "the Igbo, an ethnic group in Nigeria" -> "the Igbo ethnic group"?
Done. Ukabia - talk 15:45, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Enu and Ugwu meaning "top of the hill" or Hill top" - why the different formatting between the two translations?
Removed the 'and'.
Okay, but that doesn't address the question. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I cleared it up in case of confusion. Ukabia - talk 23:50, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does the city have any newspapers? Any information on visual arts, music, dance, theatre?
There is no information about theatre. Other information is under the 'Culture' section.
No it isn't - there's no information about newspapers; the only information about visual arts is that an art gallery exists; the only information about music is that masquerades are accompanied by music; there is no information on dance. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The city doesn't have any formal orchestras, or theatres or Opera halls and things like that. The city has the festivals given, and then everything else is informal, like if there are any other celebrations or events. I have added newspapers published in the city. As for visual arts, there are the galleries, and then other visual arts are found in rural towns in other parts of the state. Ukabia - talk 23:50, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Prose concern: Needs some general copy-editing for flow and clarity
  • Early history section should be re-organized - as it stands, it's a bit scattered
I have reorganised the section. Ukabia - talk 15:45, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Did anything happen with European contact/administration prior to 1903? Europeans arrived in the 1800s - did any visit Enugu? When was it incorporated into a colony/territory?
No Europeans visited Enugu before 1903. The article talks about the expedition led by the British to explore Enugu's resources. The information of the arrival of Europeans to Nigeria has been left to the main Nigeria article or the History of Nigeria. This has been left out because Enugu didn't exist before 1903 as a city.
  • You should probably give a bit more context about Biafra - the story is difficult to follow without it
I added more info about Biafra and the war. Ukabia - talk 18:50, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Format references more consistently
Can you give an example?

11. Nwauwa, Apollos (1995). "The Evolution of the Aro Confederacy in Southeastern Nigeria, 1690–1720: A Theoretical Synthesis of State Formation Process in Africa". Anthropos (Anthropos Institute) 90: 353–364. ISSN 0257-9774.
12. Horton, W.R.G. (1954). "The Ohu System of Slavery in a Northern Ibo Village Group". Africa: Journal of the International African Institute. Edinburgh University Press. pp. 311–336.

These are both journals, but their citation style is considerably different. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've fixed it. Ukabia - talk 23:50, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sourcing concern: Avoid tertiary sources like encyclopedias and dictionaries wherever possible
  • Combine identical refs
I have combined all I could notice. Ukabia - talk 15:45, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • All print-based sources need page numbers
Do you mean newspapers as well?
Where you're citing a printed newspaper, yes. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've fixed it. Ukabia - talk 23:50, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
There are recent featured articles (2010) that have referenced it like Ceres_(dwarf_planet), Umbriel_(moon), and even really important articles like Sirius.
  • Okpara or Okapara Avenue?
As the source says, Okpara Avenue. The file has a spelling mistake.
  • Image concern: Ok(a)para Avenue image - I don't see where you got that licensing from. In fact, the linked site specifies that "The Website contains copyrighted material, trademarks, and other proprietary information of The Coal City and its licensors. Except for that information which is in the public domain or for which you have been given written permission, you may not copy, modify, publish, transmit, distribute, perform, display, or sell any such proprietary information.". Nikkimaria (talk) 03:12, 17 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Permission has been given. Ukabia - talk 19:30, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Great. Provide evidence of said permission on the image description page. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Ukabia - talk 23:50, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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