Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Execution of Benjamin Moloise/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 17 September 2023 [1].

Execution of Benjamin Moloise

Nominator(s): Iamawesomeautomatic (talk) 23:56, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about Benjamin Moloise, a member of the African National Congress, who was executed for his alleged involvement in the killing of a policeman. This policeman had played a part in the capture and subsequent execution of three ANC members. However, doubts remain about whether Moloise was truly involved in the murder. Nevertheless, his execution drew significant international condemnation, leading to economic sanctions by foreign governments and mass protests. Iamawesomeautomatic (talk) 23:56, 15 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose by Nick-D

While it's good that this article has been developed, it's really at GA standard and needs quite a bit of work to reach FA status.

I'm a bit surprised that the sourcing is mainly news stories from the time
Did the Truth and Reconciliation Commission cover this case? Volume 2 of its report very briefly notes in as part of a footnote of "Other cases of judicial executions for political offences known to the Commission"; the TRC defining the execution as being for political reasons might be worth noting. Other volumes might provide further analysis.
"that assisted in capturing three African National Congress (ANC) members" - 'who had assisted' perhaps?
"later turning to poetry and religion while on death row for two years" - this is jumping ahead - I'd suggest moving it to later in the article
The second para of the 'Early life and background' covers several key topics very briefly: this should be expanded.
The background section needs more material about the apartheid era of South Africa, especially in regards to the way in which the criminal justice system was used to protect white rule, the frequently arbitrary nature of punishments handed out and the brutal treatment of many black prisoners. What the ANC was and the tactics it used also need to be covered.
"The South African government, while readily tapping into the talents and expertise of black citizens, " - I think I see what you're trying to say here, but read literally this is totally false
Why was Moloise arrested?
Why did Moloise confess? Was this an instance of the South African security police using torture or other rough treatment to force a confession?
"Moloise would be convicted of murder by the Transvaal Supreme Court in September 1983" - the tense of off here, and please provide the date. More details of the trial would be desirable (e.g. was a jury involved, what did the prosecution argue, how did the ANC contribute, etc?)
How did this matter reach the attention of the UN Security Council? Did it have a history of issuing similar statements?
More broadly, the article doesn't explain why this incident gained such prominence internationally
The first para of the 'United Nations resolution' reads oddly: why do these minor details matter?
"and the Western preference to maintain a lower profile on the subject" - the western governments were crippling South Africa with sanctions at this time, and campaigning against it politically, so this seems hard to justify.
Reference 8 is cited to the Washington Post, but the source is actually the New York Times
What happened between January and August 1985?
"emphasizing the presence of new evidence that might warrant a case review" - what evidence?
The first and second paras of the 'Execution' section read like a newspaper story
"Moloise was executed at Pretoria Central Prison around 7 am" on what day?
"The White House criticized the execution," - buildings don't talk: I presume that you mean the Reagan Administration here?
" As a response, they introduced sanctions against South Africa that impacted trade, transportation, and investment" - this seems odd, given that there were already very extensive sanctions covering all these topics against South Africa. Did the Nordic countries tighten these sanctions?
The claim in the image caption that "African and Western nations debated over South Africa's apartheid policies" seems unjustified. It's also not clear what this image adds.
Was Moloise's body reburied after the end of Apartheid?
The article repeatedly describes Moloise as a poet, but doesn't cover his poetry. It seems more accurate to also describe him as an upholsterer given that this was his occupation. Nick-D (talk) 07:27, 16 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose by UC

Very much agreed that the article is not there yet. Nick has given some useful close-reading points; I'll try to go at a more macro scale.

Many parts of the article seem very brief, almost cursory. The murder itself only takes up two sentences, for example.
The Judy Peace source cited about black police officers seems to be an autobiography or personal reflection. That isn't really a reliable source for establishing matters of fact, especially about South African society writ large.
More generally, as Nick alluded to, there seems to be almost no use of later historical or academic work on the events described here. Using contemporary newspapers for matters of fact here has major problems: firstly, the obvious that South African newspapers will inevitably have reflected the racial divides that defined SA society; secondly, murders, trials and executions are by definition shadowy, and contemporary reports are almost certain to include details that were speculative, inaccurate or later re-evaluated. There is a place to discuss how the crime and execution were reported and perceived at the time, but that's a different thing to using those reports as authoritative sources for what happened.
The Trial section is another brief one. There may also be WP:UNDUE weight on the defence here: they are quoted directly at great length, while very little of the other participants in the trial comes out.
Agreed with Nick on the first paragraph of the UN section: we need to take a step back from the narrative and focus on the key events, rather than trying to re-tell the story in a journalistic fashion. This is also a problem when we come to discuss the riotes after Moloise's death.
There are rather a lot of images for the amount of text, and most are only indirectly related to the subject matter (e.g. the ANC flag and the "Whites Only" sign: one could argue that they are more for decoration than to explain and clarify.
The prose needs a good look to comply with the MOS: a few contractions stuck out to me and errors with MOS:POSSESSIVES.
Parts of the article are more essay-like than encyclopaedia-like: By equating Moloise's plight as a black individual under apartheid with broader struggles, the poem might unintentionally diminish the unique challenges of apartheid and use them to bolster Irish nationalism., for instance.
The Legacy section discusses streets and poetry, but seems to be missing any sense of the political legacy, if any, of Moloise's death.

Has this been to Peer Review? It's got a comparatively short edit history and, I'd suggest, is fairly early in its journey to FAC. Usually, I like to look at FAs on similar topics when assessing my work or others': I don't think we have any on executions at the moment, but we do have Lynching of Jesse Washington and, for another anti-Apartheid activist, Steve Biko. Nelson Mandela is also an FA, but may be of less value as a comparison.

Essentially, I think this is a case of WP:NOTYET: the subject matter is absolutely ripe for an FA to be written about it, but a bit of time and perhaps collaboration is needed to bridge the considerable gap between GA and FA status. Please do ping me if it does come to Peer Review; I'll be more than happy to help there. UndercoverClassicist ^T·C 08:00, 16 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Coord note

Based on the comments above this does appear to be nominated prematurely so I'll be archiving it shortly. GA is something but such an article really should go through peer review before FAC, and I'd strongly suggest that before considering a renomination here. Cehers, Ian Rose (talk) 19:42, 17 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 19:43, 17 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.