Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hod Stuart/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Karanacs 16:04, 27 July 2010 [1].

Hod Stuart[edit]

Hod Stuart (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Kaiser matias (talk) 20:45, 6 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This article was at FAC a few weeks ago and was archived on account of a lack of reviews. So here it is again. I look forward to hearing reviews. Kaiser matias (talk) 20:45, 6 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment—no dab links, no dead external links. Ucucha 21:47, 6 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments – Missed the first FAC (by a matter of hours), but am here for this one. Note to everyone: the sources checked out before, and I didn't spot any issues when I looked myself.

  • The Early life section jumps around quite a bit. It goes from early family info to later family info, back to his early life and then to outside interests. I think the main issue here is the section title. This is trying to be an all-emcompassing personal life section, probably since there isn't enough to justify two sections. I don't believe anyone would have an issue with just calling the section Personal life. If you don't want to change the title, the organization should at least be made more chronological.
Done
  • Playing career: Comma in $1800?
Done
  • Did Calumet win the league championship when Stuart joined them? That seems like a natural question which begs an answer.
Added
  • "his first game with the team witnessed by 6,000 fans." Add "was" before "witnessed".
Done
  • "He took part in the Wanderers Stanley Cup challenge...". Apostrophe needed at end of Wanderers.
Done
  • "it was said that he neither flinched or retaliated". I'm thinking "or" should be "nor", considering what usually follows the word neither.
Done

Giants2008 (27 and counting) 15:37, 7 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Addressed everything. Kaiser matias (talk) 19:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support – Not the largest article to come through here, but a well-written, well-cited one all the same. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 14:23, 16 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support: Above concerns have been taken care of as well as previous ones from the first FA nomination. Article is well written and encompassing.--Mo Rock...Monstrous (talk) 14:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support. I can't tell how comprehensive this is, but it's nicely written, sourced, and illustrated. SlimVirgin talk|contribs 06:19, 16 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The citation style is irregular; why is the publisher repeated in author? Has Brianboulton been through the sources? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:24, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The citation style has been used in previous FA's with no complaints. Brianboulton did look thorugh the sources in the first nomination and said it was all good. Finally, for the publisher repeated as author, I'm assuming this is about the LegendsofHockey.net cite; I changed the author, so it should be good now. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:51, 20 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also, in the Regular season and playoffs table, what does "Exib." stand for? Please link or explain the abbreviation somewhere. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:47, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • I think in this case it means "Exhibition", per the article text. Jayjg (talk) 03:51, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That is indeed true, and I have now linked it. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:51, 20 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments

  • The abbreviation "Exib." should probably be "Exhib."
Done
  • The tables in the Career statistics and Awards sections have no citations.
Done
  • The bibliography section should include all sources used, including all the newspaper articles, not just the books.
Done
Thanks. You shouldn't use the "accessdate" parameter for material that is in print; all you're doing is telling the reader when you read the article, which doesn't help them. Similarly, it doesn't help the reader to say that the Pittsburgh Press is published in Pittsburgh, or the Ottawa Citizen is published in Ottawa. Unfortunately, the citation template provide parameters that often shouldn't be used, but which tempt editors to use them. Anyway, I've removed the unnecessary parameters. Jayjg (talk) 16:29, 20 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Other than that, well written article with good images. Jayjg (talk) 03:51, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Everything addressed
Thanks, I've supported. Jayjg (talk) 16:29, 20 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • "Stuart also played rugby and football, and played for the local football team, the Ottawa Rough Riders." The source you have for this gives no more details than you do, and I presume you searched and could not find any other sources than this. Since the Rough Riders were a major league team (were they at the time?) it'd be ideal in a FA to have a paragraph about this, as this would be a notable part of his professional sports career. It'd be nice to know at least whether his football stint was before his hockey career (presumably it was?). But if there's absolutely no other info available about this I guess it can't be helped. I also feel the description "the local football team" makes it sound like a small-town football club, and not a major league team.
I've looked in a lot of places for anything about his early time in football, and nothing offers more than stating that he played. I did modify the description to make it sound more notable though.
  • "Stuart worked as a bricklayer, and prior to his death had worked with his father." Could this be reworded? I'm not sure that it's clear from this that he worked with his father as a bricklayer. Also, I found it a bit jarring that "prior to his death" is used here without any previous reference to his death. Also, later on in the article we find out that he worked as a bricklayer from when he quit hockey in early 1907 to his death in June of the same year. Was that the extent of his bricklaying career—maybe this should be clarified in "Personal life" or taken out of that section.
Changed it around
  • "He married Loughlin, a native of Quebec, around 1903; they had two children together." Was Loughlin her first name?
First name. I reworded that part to make it clearer
  • "Through his father's business contacts, Stuart moved to Quebec in 1900 and joined the Quebec Bulldogs, also of the CAHL." It's not clear from this what his father's business contacts had to do with him joining the Bulldogs. Did he move to Quebec as a bricklayer and then quit and join the Bulldogs? Or did his business contacts have influence with the owner/manager/coach of the team?
Clarified
  • "On December 11, 1905, before the start of the 1905–06 season, Stuart was suspended from the league after the western teams told the league that they were unhappy with him; they said he had won too many championships and was too rough for the league." Could this be simplified to "On December 11, 1905, before the start of the 1905–06 season, Stuart was suspended from the league after the western teams complained that he had won too many championships and was too rough for the league."
Done
  • "The Wanderers, composed of players familiar with each other, led the All-Stars 7–1 after the first half of the game; though the All-Stars played better in the second half, the Wanderers won by a score of 10–7." Weren't the Wanderers an already existing team, and if so, wouldn't they necessarily be familiar with each other? Or even if it was a new team, I don't see the relevance of them being familiar with each other.
Changed the wording around to explain things beter

Moisejp (talk) 14:01, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Addressed everything. Kaiser matias (talk) 15:26, 20 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

WP:FA Criteria 3 met, although the description of File:HodStuartAllStarGameAd1908.jpg could do with a tidy up Fasach Nua (talk) 18:02, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not sure what you mean here. The image itself is mostly text, so it doesn't really need much description. Kaiser matias (talk) 15:26, 20 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Hello. I believe what Sandy Georgia meant above about "The citation style is irregular; why is the publisher repeated in author?" is that if there is no author, do not use the newspaper name as the author, just leave the author blank. You can delete the "author=|" bit right out of the template in these cases. I have done that for the Bibliography section but ran out of time and have not done that for Notes. Also, if you have some of your references in the Harvard style, why not be consistent and make all of them so? Have a look at Hey Jude for ideas. You can put the "Retrieved" info in the Bibliography section below, and just have the author (or another key word in the case of authorless refs) and the year and page number where applicable in the Notes, and then it is very clean and lots of info does not get unnecessarily repeated in both. If I had more time I would have liked to help you clean up your refs, but I have run out of time tonight and will be unavailable for the next several days—sorry! But see what you can figure out from the "Hey Jude" page, and if you need help maybe you can ask someone. Good luck with the rest of your FAR process! Moisejp (talk) 14:08, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I went ahead and reformatted all the references to use one style. Everything is consistent now. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:13, 21 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support: All my issues have been addressed. As SlimVirgin says above, the article may not be as comprehensive as most FAs, but nonetheless, the article is well-wriiten and well-referenced, with good use of images, and I would support it as an FA. Moisejp (talk) 01:37, 23 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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