Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hyderabad, India/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 18:21, 2 July 2012 [1].

Hyderabad, India[edit]

Nominator(s): Omer123hussain (talk) 22:17, 29 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because, I believe that the article is comprehensively well written. After fixing all the requirements by the peer reviewers, we have voluntarily done a month long session to cover the entire aspects and brought the article up to the standards of WP:FA, I believe that it is FA quality and deserves to be considered as a Featured Article. Regards :) Omer123hussain (talk) 22:17, 29 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - the prose is bad and riddled with errors. Here are a few examples:

Since 2007, The retail industry in Hyderabad is on the rise
This style built massive walls using granite and lime mortar as the chief ingredients.
In 2000, cable internet access were launched in Hyderabad.
The growth in motor vehicles is 11.5% per annum during 1996–2001.
In Hyderabad, the main mean of transport are public transport
Since 1990s, the city changed from a primarily service sector to a more diversified spectrum
contributing to it being declared
Among business and management schools, The Indian School of Business (ISB) ranked 1st in India by The Week in 2011,

I suggest withdrawing this nomination and soliciting a full copyedit from top to bottom. Graham Colm (talk) 23:36, 29 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I will fix those errors now. Regards :)--Omer123hussain (talk) 08:40, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

These are only examples of many problems. Graham Colm (talk) 09:40, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed those listed above, to reduce the article size, recently we had made many changes, that might have cause some prose errors, which we will fix today. Regards :) --Omer123hussain (talk) 10:03, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

unfortunately there are some mistakes in the prose. Even though we tried to rectify many mistakes during the preparation for FAC, oddities still persist. Thanks Graham Colm for pointing out some specific examples. Will work on the entire article.

Besides the specific errors, do you also think that prose quality overall is of poor standard? Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 12:45, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

It's not FA standard. Many of the more simple errors could have been found by a quick spellchecker. For example, a "piple-line", "employes", "musics" and what on earth is a "crackable map"? Forgive my bluntness, but the article needs copy editing by a native English speaker. There is also overlinking, and a quick spotcheck of the sources reveals problems. Graham Colm (talk) 21:25, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

First, let me apologize for the irritation such blatant errors might have caused. We definitely should have taken much more care to ensure that such blatant errors are not present in the article. And thanks a lot for the link WP:PLUSING that you provided in an edit summary. I am in touch with the main contributor of the article, and would be soon arriving at a decision regarding withdrawal of this nomination. Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 05:31, 1 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I have seen FA reviews going on for months together before, if the problems are quickly solved. I see no reason as to why this cannot undergo the same treatment. Secret of success (talk) 15:03, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments: First of all, it's good to see people working on a large topic like this. I just read Transport, the first paragraph of Culture, and Literature to get a feel for the article's prose. I listed a few issues below, there are more than I would expect to encounter in an FA nomination. For the most part, it was in Ok shape but I don't think it meets the WP:WIAFA 1a standard. Meeting the FA prose requirements is sometimes quite difficult, even for experienced contributors. It is possible to even out a lot of prose issues at FAC, but it's really best to take care of it beforehand, that's why we have WP:GOCE and WP:PR. There's really no harm in withdrawing and coming back in a couple weeks.
The first part of this sentence needs clarification: "As of 2010, the airport was judged among the world's top airports in the category of serving 5–15 million passengers, and world's fifth best airport for service quality, by Airports Council International." Can you be more specific than "among the world's top airports"?
"Hyderabadis, as residents of the city are known," Why is this italicized? I have the same question about the list of holidays later in the paragraph.
"Burqa and Hijab are commonly practised by the Muslim women in public." Can you practise a garment?
"A typical Hyderabadi could be either a Telugu or a Urdu speaking person." This sounds to me like it's uncertain whether Telugu and Urdu are the two most common.
"Hyderabad received the royal patronage for arts" From whom, when? Also, should this be "the royal patronage" or just "royal patronage"?
"The Rajiv Gandhi International Airport (RGIA) (IATA: HYD, ICAO: VOHS) was inaugurated in 2008, replacing the previous Begumpet Airport, as a new airport to serve the city." The portion after the comma is redundant, and makes the meaning ambiguous.
"Organisations engaged in research and development of literary works include are Sahitya Akademi," Looks like a typo here. Mark Arsten (talk) 16:26, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments
The article is wide in terms of coverage. However, it has a few concerns with prose and am pretty sure that many issues would be raised as the review progresses. The article needs a thorough copyediting for better clarity and flow. The prose is not engaging in most of the places. A few comments after I had a quick glance through the article:

The Etymology section is too small. Try expanding it or merge with an appropriate section.
WP:OVERLINK
- I see many terms being linked on more than one occasion (with in a section) throughout the article.
It's good to have a separate table for religion graph like other similar FAs.
Don't use ".com" in work parameters (for cite web).
The 2011 figures for the city are just provisional and not the final results. A footnote can be added to clarify it.
There are a lot of contradicting figures in population/density.
- The Infobox mentions the density to be 10,000 persons/sq.km, while in the demographics section it is given as 18,480 /km2
- The demographics section seem to represent figures which are a mix of the 2001 census and 2011 provisional results. The figures must be mentioned with "As of" fact or a FN affixed at the end to provide clarity.
Why are "Doordarshan", "Chowmahalla Palace" and "Tollywood" italicized?
"As of 2011, Hyderabad Elevated Expressway is the longest expressway in India". The source was published in 2008 and with in this four-year gap there have been many such expressways constructed/expanded across the country. I'm pretty sure that cities like Delhi, Chennai and Mumbai have expressways spanning more than 12 km as of 2012.
'T' capitalised in "Tennis player" while 'c' is not in "cricketers", 'b' in "badminton players" and so on.
"badminton players S. M. Arif, Pullela Gopichand, Saina Nehwal, Jwala Gutta, Chetan Anand, hockey players Syed Mohammad Hadi, Mukesh Kumar and bodybuilder Mir Mohtesham Ali Khan" is unsourced.
Ref #203 fails to mention most of the names. Each and every ref needs to be checked.

Oppose – IMO, the article is still a long way from FA standards. I'd advise the nominator to go for one more peer review and get a thorough copyedit. —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 18:29, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review, with your comments above it is found that the only major issue in the article is prose part and we are working on it as mentioned above, any way minor errors of "T" and "c" will also be fixed mean while. The sport persons names are wikilinked, thus with consensus we removed those sources due to burden of references in the article, some words are wikilinked based on the situation in more than one place to make understand the readers, as it is commonly used in other FA's also. As we borrowed some time we will complete the prose and update. Regards :)--Omer123hussain (talk) 20:27, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

corrected all the errors pointed by Vensatry, except demographics, as it already have a tabel of population. Regards --Omer123hussain (talk) 23:32, 30 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I would like to withdraw the nomination, so that we can make all the necessare corrections, mean while I would appriciate if some one may take the initiative to guide us to correct the prose of the article. Regards :)--Omer123hussain (talk) 19:58, 1 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Kindly any authorized editor archeive this withdrawal. Regards :)--Omer123hussain (talk) 12:41, 2 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.