Jump to content

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Kigali/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 24 February 2021 [1].

Kigali

[edit]
Nominator(s):  — Amakuru (talk) 10:33, 18 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the capital city of Rwanda, Kigali, my home for a few years in the mid-2000s. Founded by the German explorer and governor, Richard Kandt, it became capital on Rwandan independence in 1962. It has grown rapidly since the 1990-94 civil war and genocide and is now home to lots of shiny new buildings, making it fairly unrecognisable even compared to when I lived there! Note that this is my second current FAC nom, as I am also a co-nom on the 2018 EFL League Two play-off Final with The Rambling Man (who also performed the GA review for Kigali). Cheers  — Amakuru (talk) 10:33, 18 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

[edit]

Jens

[edit]
  • Reads well, I like the amount of background information that helps with understanding.
  • the city was founded in 1908 – Later in the "Colonial period" section, it is somehow indicated that the city was already existing when Kandt arrived there: He chose to make his headquarters in Kigali; and no mention anymore that he founded it.
    This seems to result from a couple of edits in the last few months that I hadn't spotted. (1) the date of founding should be 1907, and (2) the notion that the city was founded prior to 1907 and was the capital of the kings in the 16th century appears to be mostly WP:FRINGE. I have added some lines to explain this, with a source.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • more powerful neighbours, Bugesera – the latter links to modern Bugesera District, not sure if this is the correct article?
    Probably not. The area might be roughly the same, but they're different things so I've amended it to a redlink Bugesera (kingdom).  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The formation in the 17th century of a new Rwandan dynasty – I suggest "The formation of a new Rwandan dynasty in the 17th century" for better flow.
    OK, sure. Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lake Kivu – can this be linked?
    Done. (And I've unlinked a mention further down the article).  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • led to a severe famine at the start of the Belgian administration. – Is there an article about that famine that can be linked?
    Unfortunately that one also doesn't have an article at present, but it is named by Des Forges as the Rumanura famine, so I've provided a redlink to that for now.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The RPF began attacking from the north – As the events discussed in the previous sentences took place in the city, the reader will assume "from the north of the city". Rather, it means "from the north of the country". Maybe specify for better flow.
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Travel publisher Rough Guides has described – Maybe add the year of publication to make clear we are no longer in the 1930s? I initially thought it is some historic account.
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:08, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Maybe add the human development index to the text; it is mentioned in the infobox, but it would be interesting to also state the tendency (did it, or any other similar measure, increase or decrease in recent years)?
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 15:39, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Due to its status as a colonial capital, Kigali was not historically the hub of Rwanda's cultural heritage – This does not seem logical. Being a colonial capital does not preclude being a hub of cultural heritage?
    I've removed the part about its status as a colonial capital, it's not really necessary anyway.  — Amakuru (talk) 13:23, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some more points may follow. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 16:43, 20 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The country's traditional dance, a choreographed routine consisting of three components: the umushagiriro (cow dance), the intore (dance of heroes) and drumming, originated in the royal court at Nyanza – the colon within the sentence disrupts reading flow quite a bit, maybe reformulate.
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 15:39, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • during the northern-hemisphere summer. Isn't the country it in the southern hemisphere? It should say "winter", then.
    Well, that was literally what is written in the source. And the seasons as we know them away from the equator don't really exist in Rwanda anyway. But to be clearer, I've switched it to "July or August" with an alternative source.  — Amakuru (talk) 13:23, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    I think this was mainly a neutrality issue; many Australians reading this sentence would have been very annoyed. Your solution now is perfect! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 13:52, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • along with private universities the Kigali Independent University (ULK) and the University of Lay Adventists of Kigali – there is a "," missing, and possibly a "were founded"?
    text modified so hopefully it makes more sense now  — Amakuru (talk) 13:54, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • But the top-three performing individual secondary schools – That "But" at the start of the sentence seems awkward.
    I have put a "however" at the end of the sentence instead. If you can think of a better way to phrase it, let me know.  — Amakuru (talk) 13:54, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any info available on the number of enrolled students at the universities? You only give number of pupils in the schools.
    I have added a line on this.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:17, 27 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I suggest to add at least one image that shows the typical aura of the city, e.g. a street with people in it. From the pictures present in the article, I didn't get a good impression on how it actually looks there. You have a nice one on your user page, for example.
    Unfortunately the picture on my user page would probably fall foul of the Freedom of Panorama issues which are mentioned by Nikki above, as it features two of Kigali's office towers. I have found a street scene on Flickr though without such issue, which is now in the infobox. If there are anyother pics you think might be valuable, let me know.  — Amakuru (talk) 15:50, 31 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there anything about security and crime rates, and how this compares with other large cities in the region?
    I have added a crime and policing subsection...  — Amakuru (talk) 15:50, 31 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • That's it from me. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 11:37, 21 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    @Jens Lallensack: I think I've addressed all your points now. Cheers  — Amakuru (talk) 15:39, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Support – thanks for carefully addressing all the points! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 17:01, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Mike Christie

[edit]

I'm copyediting as I read through; please revert anything you disagree with.

  • The geohack link inline is frowned on per MoS.
    I've replaced it with plain text.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The "increase in average temperature" sentence is cited to a 2013 Strategic Foresight report; I think the reader should be aware inline that this is from 2013. Perhaps "... over the fifty years to 2013"? Or use an "as of" phrase.
    Yep, good catch. Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • with the boundaries of the city expanded: what does this mean? Administrative boundaries? If it just means that the built-up area within the administrative boundaries expanded, I'm not sure it's worth mentioning.
    Clarified, it is the administrative boundaries and I've added a note that this is part of the cause of the population doubling.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The NISR classifies 21% of the workforce as being employed in "other services", which include utilities as well as financial services, including banking, pensions, insurance, microfinance, and the Rwanda Stock Exchange, which launched in 2011. The syntax here is confusing, with "include ... including".
    Amended.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • This includes Village Urugwiro in Kacyiru, the office of the president, the Chamber of Deputies and Senate in Kimihurura. Should this have an "and" before "the Chamber"? If not I don't understand the sentence.
    Yes. Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Inanga, Traditional Rwandan instrument during the introduction wedding in Kigali, Rwanda This is the caption for an image; it needs a citation, but also I don't understand what "during the introduction wedding" means.
    Neither do I, really. I didn't add that particular image myself! Since its significance is unclear, and the instrument in question isn't discussed in the article, I have replaced it with a pic of traditional dancers.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The description of Genocide Memorial Day says that Kagame addresses the nation on that day. Wouldn't it be better just to say "the President"? There's nothing about the ceremony that is specific to Kagame, is there?
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 12:20, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Overall the article is in good shape and I expect to support once these minor points are addressed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:01, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Support. Looks good. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:28, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Support from TRM

[edit]

I performed a typically robust review at GAN and felt this was in good shape for a run at FAC, so my comments here will be brief.

I think I could spend a little longer delving around those refs so perhaps just go through and sanity check all the publishers/websites are consistently linked, all parameters are used consistently (i.e. accessdates are used on all online refs instead of 95% of them). I understand the Weather box query is a general issue but MOS compliance (as you know) is "mandatory" so if our experts confirm it's fine then brilliant, otherwise some work to do there. Cheers for now. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 11:43, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: The table in {{Weather box}} does a very good job of meeting MOS:DTT with all scopes properly set. The only thing I'd grumble about is that many of the colour combinations added to the cells are difficult for me to read, particularly combinations like 11 which fail WCAG AAA. --RexxS (talk) 17:54, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
RexxS once again, thank you for your invaluable input in these matters, I very much appreciate it. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:06, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Does this mean it's OK to keep it as is? I think someone else set up the parameters for this one, so I've no idea if they're optimal or not...  — Amakuru (talk) 22:59, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
It means ideally pick background/font colour combinations which are easier to read if MOS:ACCESS is a real consideration I think. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 23:03, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
OK I'll have a tinker with them tomorrow. I'm technically red-green colourblind myself actually, although it's sort of a "mild" case, and other than being barred from ever being a pilot, it has little practical effect on my life ...  — Amakuru (talk) 23:17, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The process is broken, but I'll happily support this. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:51, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Source review – Pass

[edit]

Will do soon. Aza24 (talk) 22:56, 27 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Formatting

Bibliography

  • What is ".fwo" at the end of the Dorsey ref?
    I don't know. Looks like a typo or something. Removed.  — Amakuru (talk) 17:29, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • You have "2nd ed" but "2 ed" & "1 ed" – either formatting is fine, just should be consistent
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 17:29, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wondering if you might considering adding something like "|format=PDF" to the MINEDUC and NISR refs, just to make it clear to readers that clicking the link won't open a new page, but will initiate a download
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 17:29, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Newcastle upon Tyne" is the only location you include, I suggest removing it
    Done (plus a couple of others).  — Amakuru (talk) 17:29, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm a bit confused by your designation of bibliography. I assumed that sources where you reference more than one page are put there, but refs like Mamdani, Appiah, Watson et al. are referencing a single page, while refs such as Fegley are also referencing a single page but cited in text
    Yeah, I think the intention was to cite inline where there was just a single page, but obviously I wasn't doing it very consistently. To make it simpler to manage I've flipped everything that uses page numbers over to sfn referencing, even if it's just a single occurrence of that page.  — Amakuru (talk) 11:59, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks, that seems like the most appropriate solution

References

Reliabillity
  • I'm not sure about citing wikileaks in ref 48, seems to be veering on the edge of being a primary source, and I'm not sure we have any way of telling that the wikileaks documents hasn't been altered from the original. Would recommend it is replaced
    Fair enough. I can't find exactly the same info anywhere so have removed that part, but I have added a note that life largely continued as normal amid "widespread popular relief".  — Amakuru (talk) 21:13, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Am hesitant about google maps as well, but if there is no suitable alternative, I understand the need
    Hmmm, any particular reason? I've not heard about Google Maps being off-limits before, we even have Google. "Featured article candidates/Kigali" (Map). Google Maps. Google. No URL entered....  — Amakuru (talk) 21:13, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    It just stood out to me as rather odd, but I suppose I don't have any real grevienve with it. Only mentioned in case you had a higher quality source with the same information available—don't worry about it
  • The youtube ref is also less than ideal, any news/web sources available for this?
    Yes. Replaced.  — Amakuru (talk) 21:13, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I don't see any other reliabillity issues.
Verifiability
  • Spotchecks not done – nominator has a history of FAs
  • Page number(s) for ref 167?
    Done.  — Amakuru (talk) 21:13, 1 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The rest looks good Aza24 (talk) 23:42, 27 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    @Aza24: I think I've looked at all your points now. Many thanks again for the review.  — Amakuru (talk) 11:59, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks for your effort here, everything is looking a lot better. I have two remaining points, 1) Completely optional, but if you want to reinsert the Wikileaks info, it may be appropriate to do so if you have something like "According to a report in Wikieaks..." in the text it self. 2) Ref 70 seems to be missing a page number and should (I believe) be in the biblio like the rest. Aza24 (talk) 20:25, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    @Aza24: (1) it turns out the original cable is available on the US Department of State's own website (having been declassified in 2005), so linking to the Wikileaks isn't necessary, I've now cited it directly to the horse's mouth. Re (2) the work in question is a map rather than a book, so it doesn't have page numbers. Should I nonetheless put it into the bibliography? I have zero opinion on which option is better, so will defer to whatever you say is best!  — Amakuru (talk) 20:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    Ah I see, well there's Template:Cite map, which would add a little "(Map)" to make it clear that it's a map and not a book with a missing page number? Aza24 (talk) 21:30, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    OK, I've adjusted that as such, hope that's okay. Pass for source review. Aza24 (talk) 07:24, 5 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Hi @Gog the Mild: thanks for the reminder, and I haven't forgotten. The last few points that Nikki mentions will require a little bit more work, but I've made a start on the power generation side. Hopefully I'll get them done in the next few days. Cheers  — Amakuru (talk) 13:13, 12 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Kigali/archive1&oldid=1008772985"