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The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by User:Scorpion0422 17:56, 23 June 2008 [1].

List of Moonlight episodes

[edit]

I believe the list meets all the featured list criteria. There has been much improvement over the last month or so. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 17:34, 30 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Matthew

Comments

  • Per WP:LS#Bold title, don't wikilink the bold part of the title
  • Futher to that, repetitions of the article title in the Lead ( as in "This is a list of episodes … for Moonlight") are become less accepted. See Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates/Archive 3#Straight repetitions of the title in the opening sentence
  • The show is described as being in the "supernatural" genre, but the main article calls it a "Paranormal romance, and the infobox there describes it as "Supernatural", "Action", "Horror", "Drama", "Romance", and "Crime". Pick one or two max and be consistent towards the main article, as this one is basically a sub-page.
  • "...with other vampires in the city." Which city?
  • "The program premiered..." Say "The series" instead, as program is more similar to a single episode.
  • Provide context to non-American readers by describing CBS. For my Featured stuff I've used "Canadian broadcast television network CTV", which for here can be turned into "...in the United States on CBS, a broadcast television network."
  • "Moonlight began its first season on September 28, 2007[1]" is a repeat of the second sentence. Additionally, references should be placed after punctuation, not midsentence
  • "55" and "eighty-eight". Per MOS:NUM, it doesn't matter which is used, but consistency throughout the article should be followed.
  • "only twelve episodes[5] of the original thirteen-episode order were produced." Again, mid-sentence placement of the reference needs fixing
  • "Moonlight was likely to return for a second season;[8] though on May 13, 2008, CBS announced that Moonlight was officially cancelled." Wrong punctuation mark with the semi-colon
  • Explain why Warner Bros. tried to sell the show to other networks. I assume they produced it, but it should be stated
  • I noticed the list of episodes is using {{episode list}}. A few months ago new Writer=and Director=fields were added to the template, so these should now be used instead of Aux1=and Aux2=for the same purpose.
  • Use "Episode #" instead of just "#". Use "Production code" or "Prod code" for PC.
  • Instead of the "American viewers in millions" column, I recommend changing it to "US Ratings/Share (total viewers)" as the article Nielsen Ratings says that that is how they are usually given. Then, as an example, for the first episode the entry would be "5.7/10 (8.54)". This would negate the subsequent ratings table.
    • Use the Aux4=field in the Episode list template, as the information is less to do with the episode as it was produced, and more to do with how well it was received by the public.
  • Episode 1:
    • "make it appear that the young coed was killed by vampires" and "co-ed" is used again later in the summary. What's a co-ed? If you mean female, I'd use that instead
    • "Fortunately, Mick comes to her rescue," With the use of "Fortunately", it sounds a little too in-universe for my liking
  • Episode 2:
    • "Mick becomes furious when convicted killer Lee Jay Spalding is released from prison after serving 25 years for murdering his girlfriend." It's not exactly clear whose girlfriend we're talking here
    • "Beth's friend Julia writes a bout about Spalding," Should be "about", I think
  • Episode 3:
    • "Now that Beth knows Mick's a vampire, things are tense between them." passive voice
    • Pipelink Sire (vampire) with "sire"
    • "his new bride, now ex-wife, Coraline." is clumsy
  • Ep 4:
    • Pipelink News leak with "leak"
    • "They hole up" is a bit colloquial
  • Ep 5:
    • First sentence is too long
    • Don't use "vamp"
  • Ep 6
    • "The vampire blood makes a human feel a bit like a vampire," Change the "a bit" part, and that comma should be a semi colon
  • Ep 7
    • "find her cameras, which were stolen." → "stolen cameras."? Same meaning, less words.
    • "is a dead ringer for" → "is identical to"?
    • "Doppleganger" → "Doppelgänger" and wikilink to Doppelgänger
  • Ep 8
    • No need for the comma in the first sentence
    • "post traumatic stress disorder" → "posttraumatic stress disorder"
  • Ep 9
    • "When Mick works closely on a case with Morgan, a photographer who bears strong resemblance to Coraline, Beth grows jealous and decides to research her background." No need to repeat that Morgan bears resemblance to Coraline, as it's discussed in Episode 6
    • "...not realizing that she has become human." How did this happen?
  • Ep 10
    • Explain what "Buzzwire" is. Is it a TV show? Magazine? If so it should be italicised, not in quotes per the WP:MOS.
    • "Mick kills him." The hitman, or Josef?
    • What signs does Coraline show of being a vampire?
  • Ep 11
    • What's the MS-13 gang?
    • "Mick and Beth witness the event, and drive after him." Comma isn't needed
    • "When they finally catch up, Mick attacks the perpetrators, though one manages to shoot Josh." is in a passive voice
  • Ep 13
    • How do we know his cure is temporary?
    • "When Beth's boss, Maureen, is killed" second comma isn't needed
    • Write out ADA in full and wikilink
    • Remove "Naturally"
  • Ep 14
    • "Buzzwire" again. Again, if it's a TV show or magazine/newspaper, it should be in italics instead.
    • "When Mick gets run over," → "Mick is hit by a vehicle, and"
  • Ep 15
    • "When Mick learns that the boy was the grandson of his World War II buddy, he realises that he may be the boy's biological grandfather." makes no sense
    • Comma isn't needed in "stalks Beth, and attempts to attack her"
    • According to Wiktionary, it's quitting with 2 t's.
  • Ep 16
    • Second sentence is too long and a bit confusing
    • Get rid of the first sentence, and put "a basketball player with ties to Josef and several other vampires" after Vince's name in the current third sentence
    • Explain why it's treason. And perhaps wikilink
    • "uknown" WP:TYOP
  • The Futon Critic is not considered to be a WP:RS, so that reference needs to go.
  • "Deadline Hollywood Daily". Looks like a blog, which is also not allowed under WP:RS.
  • Same for TVByTheNumbers.com

There's rather a lot to be going on with, so I'm opposing for now. Let me know when they've all been addressed. Matthewedwards (talk · contribs · count · email) 08:29, 31 May 2008 (UTC) More Nice work on the edits so far. I've done a little tweaking to the article, but there's one more thing I think needs to be resolved:[reply]

  • Ref 14 from TVByTheNumbers.com is a blog, which isn't allowed as an WP:RS. Exceptions could be made if the author is notable (do they write for a major publication, perhaps), but I'm sure ratings could be sourced from somewhere else.

Matthewedwards (talk · contribs · count · email) 07:24, 9 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK, so I found another source for the ratings, Entertainment Now, is it any better? The problem is that for the first episode, the ref states the ratings, but for the rating info for the second episode, the ratings for the first episode is different. By which numbers should I go by? Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 07:44, 9 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
That one is again a blog. Matthewedwards (talk · contribs · count · email) 21:10, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • There's a couple of references to "the first season" in the Lede, but as the series spanned only one season, it's not really the first, it's the only, so "the series" or "Moonlight" should be used instead.
    • "Moonlight began its first season on September 28, 2007" → "Moonlight premiered on September 28, 2007"
    • "Werksman said that the first season would be released on DVD" → "Werksman said that Moonlight would be released on DVD"

Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 08:47, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 11:13, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Don't italicize publishers that aren't publications in "References" per MOS:TITLE
  • Add an image of a DVD boxset, if one exists (I think it has one?)
  • Expand contractions, including "wasn't", and "doesn't"

Gary King (talk) 04:00, 8 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I have made the appropriate changes, though I am not sure with publications should not be italicized. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 10:31, 8 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Italics have been removed, where applicable. –thedemonhog talk • edits 18:15, 8 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from Collectonian (talk · contribs)
Oppose from Collectonian (talk · contribs)
  • Needs an image, preferable of the box set if available
  • The ratings column seems rather superflous and is not a common featured in an episode list. Its crunching the table and making it look crowded. As the ratings of the show is already better summarized in the lead, so I'd drop the column all together. With it gone, the airdate can stop wrapping. Also seconding note that TVByTheNumbers does not appear to meet WP:RS
  • Change Episode # -> Ep # to reduce the width of the column
  • Missing information about availability on DVD. Since its a single season, a mention in the lead is fine, but should be mentioned somewhere.
  • List needs a copyedit and some of the summaries are lacking what appear to be pertinent details. A few prose issues I spotted:
    • "Though two puncture wounds to the neck make it appear that the girl was killed by vampires, Mick knows that this was not the case." but doesn't say how or why he knows this?
    • "Fortunately, Mick comes to her rescue, using his vampire strength to overcome the true villain." - ortunately? says who? the "true villain" is a bit dramatic sounding
    • "Mick knows Spalding is not the reformed man he pretends to be, and feels responsible because..." responsible for what, Spalding being in jail, escaping, being alive?
    • "Beth's friend Julia writes a book about Spalding, showing him as a great man. When Spalding kidnaps Julia" - why did he kidnap Julia if she wrote a book about how great he is?
    • "After finding out about Mick being a vampire, Beth works hard to wrap her mind around this new information, which proves difficult." overly verbose. Can be said much more simply, such as "Beth struggles to accept Mick being a vampire."
    • "Mick finds Leni in the desert just before the hit man arrives, but the pair flee into the desert and get stranded. " confusing
    • "After being forced to feed on Beth's blood, Mick has been successfully avoiding her." switching tense and wordy. "After being forced to feed on Beth's blood, Mick avoids her."

As a side note, why are there individual articles for the first five episodes? Only the first shows any notability. 3-5 are pure plot summary and IMDB trivia. I'd suggest considering a merge/redirect back to the list for those and axing the links. -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 19:46, 10 June 2008 (UTC) -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 19:46, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Why is TV by the Numbers not a reliable source? –thedemonhog talk • edits 19:54, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
As noted above, it appears to be a self-published blog/website. -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 19:56, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The DVD hasn't been released yet, so I'd go with a screenshot of the intertitles. Matthewedwards (talk · contribs · count · email) 21:13, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Amazon has a ad/poster that would also be a good choice. -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 23:41, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
All taken care of. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 11:40, 12 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The rest of the episode summaries still need copyediting (those were just a few examples) :) -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 14:55, 12 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Please check the page again. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 10:28, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
It needs to be copyedited by someone who isn't the primary editor. :P -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 15:31, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
And how can I get someone to copyedit it? Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 15:50, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Can try asking one of the folks listed at Wikipedia:Peer review/volunteers#General copyediting -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 16:12, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The lead has been copyedited. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 01:06, 21 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The whole article has been copyedited. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 05:22, 21 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support, all comments have been addressed. One minor note, though. In the ep 13 summary, it mentions Mick and Beth are considering a relationship. Ep 16 says Beth wants to stop dating because of the vampire-human thing. When did they go from considering to dating? :P -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 18:09, 22 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 08:30, 23 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
  • You have a dead link per this.
  • Not sure your FU rationale for the image is correct - doesn't look like a cover to me, looks like an advert...
  • Image (on my browser - Safari) overlaps the table in the following section.
  • Agree with Collectonian re:copyedit.

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:36, 14 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Your first three concerns are no longer valid. –thedemonhog talk • edits 18:51, 14 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
My third is still valid I'm afraid. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:53, 14 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, sorry. –thedemonhog talk • edits 18:55, 14 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The TOC added by Collectonian has fixed the problem. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 08:40, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Someone has been asked to copyedit the article. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 03:40, 15 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The whole article has been copyedited. Corn.u.co.pia ♥ Disc.us.sion 05:22, 21 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]


Support I think this is as near-perfect as it will ever be. Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 03:45, 21 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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