Wikipedia:Peer review/1968 Illinois earthquake/archive1

1968 Illinois earthquake

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to make any corrections, as I plan to send this article to FAC.

Thanks, Ceranllama chat post 19:32, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Casliber

I will jot some ideas here - I was in the middle of something so will return to this later. Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:24, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

• Ok this sentence - Millions within the region were affected in some way. is really vague. I know what you mean but I think it is a bit 'fluffy'

• Records of seismic activity in Illinois date back to 1795, when a small event shook a frontier area. - be good to add where this happened - sounds vague as is and leaves me wanting to know more.

• Link 'epicenter' somewhere. If not on WP, then to wikt.

All done. Ceranllama chat post 15:34, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

• How can the earthquake be felt in approximately 23 different states? Either it was 23 or some other number, right? :)

Some copyediting for flow:

• McLeansboro in particular experienced extensive damage, though minor. - sounds odd, could probably reword it and leave out the 'though' or maybe just "McLeansboro in particular experienced extensive, though minor, damage" - flows a little better...

Rewritten.

• Its local high school reported nineteen broken windows in the girl's gymnasium along with cracked plaster walls. A majority of classrooms also sustained fractured walls. --> "Its local high school reported nineteen broken windows in the girl's gymnasium along with cracked plaster walls, and most classrooms sustained fractured walls."

• The First United Methodist Church had a facade that was damaged; --> "The facade of the First United Methodist Church was damaged;"

• One home had three chimneys felled - 'felled' makes me think of trees, maybe 'collapsed' or even 'toppled' is better

• Other damage occurred, such as fallen chimneys, foundation cracks, and reports of collapsed parapets and overturned tombstones. - I'd rephrase and remove bolded bit, patently obvious it is damage. Maybe just say "There were reports of fallen chimneys, foundation cracks, collapsed parapets and overturned tombstones."

• The most severe evidence of this - the evidence is not severe, but the damage is.

• Also, is there any information on insurance payouts etc. from the quake?

Not that I'm aware of. All finished. Ceranthor 13:24, 3 May 2009 (UTC)