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Wikipedia:Peer review/2018 Pacific hurricane season/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because it is an article on WikiProject:Tropical cyclone's vital article list and is the flagship article for the future featured topic of the same name. @Master of Time and MarioProtIV:, if you would be willing to take a look at the prose of the article (for sentence structure/grammar as well as accuracy), it would be greatly appreciated. I am trying to prepare the article for FAC. If anyone else would like to chime in, feel free to do so.

Thanks, NoahTalk 22:20, 19 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from KN2731

[edit]

Prose issues from a brief read-through:

  • Be consistent in capitalizing eastern/central Pacific vs Eastern/Central Pacific
  • When punctuating a sentence, en dashes should be spaced (see MOS:DASH). I've only seen this appear in the season summary
  • Date Line or Dateline?
  • Check diacritic consistency e.g. Michoacán
  • Last sentence of season summary needs fixing
  • This too: Although a total of four tropical depressions formed, only two became storms formed–Fabio and Gilma
  • Walaka's part in the season summary looks a little fragmented, since formation and peak are separated by most of the last paragraph

May leave more comments later. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 12:23, 9 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • In addition, many global computer models expected a positive Pacific decadal oscillation (PDO), a phase of a multi-decade cycle that favored much warmer than average sea surface temperatures that had been ongoing since 2014 to continue, in contrast to the 1995–2013 period, which featured below-normal activity. Too much info in one sentence
  • September saw the formation of five tropical cyclone – plural
  • making landfall in Sinaloa, Mexico, in late-October – not directly preceding a noun, doesn't need hyphen
  • (Bud) excessive mid-level moisture – from my reading "excessive" sounds like the air was supersaturated. Also maybe give a little more detail to Heavy rainfall from Bud killed a child in Mexico City.
  • (Carlotta) Right now it's not clear how conditions allowed for strengthening, did wind shear decrease after June 15?
  • (Daniel) The dissipating Tropical Storm Carlotta dragged a part of the ITCZ northward. An area of thunderstorms formed on June 18 – first sentence seems out of place, if causation exists change to something like "This resulted in the formation of an area of t-storms on June 18"
  • (Fabio) After 12 hours at peak intensity, Fabio began to decay as a result of having tracked into a region of cooler sea surface temperatures; the storm later rapidly weakened as it moved over even colder sea temperatures – a value for SSTs may be helpful
  • Check capitalization for Kelvin Wave/wave
  • (Hector) as the Johnston Atoll – is "the" necessary?
  • (Lane) this intensity made Lane the fifth storm to achieve Category 5 status in the central Pacific – clarify that this is in recorded history and not for the year; 9,000,000 US gal (30,000,000 L) of raw sewage – spell out and link units, may also be better to change to "9 million" and "30 million"
  • (Miriam) its low-level center became entirely pregnable – I don't think pregnable can be used that way
  • (Olivia) Lanai and Lanai City, Hawaii exist, also occurring at the Lanai Airport Lanai Airport is a proper noun and "the" isn't needed
  • Haven't looked at refs, but check for the same mistakes pointed out in past FACs

That should be it. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 15:55, 11 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will work on this later in the week. NoahTalk 20:39, 12 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Should be able to do this on Saturday and/or Sunday. NoahTalk 00:42, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]