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Wikipedia:Peer review/A. P. J. Abdul Kalam/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because the article has a good look and feel, with enough information after adding the presidency section. Would require a peer review before a FA.

Thanks, -- ♪Karthik♫ ♪Nadar♫ 15:08, 13 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Don't over link Chancellor, or Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology Thiruvananthapuram.  Done
  • Infobox image caption doesn't need a full stop.  Done
  • "is a renowned aerospace engineer who served as the 11th President of India from 2002 to 2007" shouldn't that be the other way round, that he was India's president foremost, then an aerospace engineer? Have worked on the sentence, can you just let me know if it looks good? -- ♪Karthik♫ ♪Nadar♫ 10:49, 19 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need to link "professor".  Done
  • Our article on "Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology Thiruvananthapuram" is Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology.  Done
  • "engineer with Defence Research" -> with the Defence...?  Done
  • "and Indian Space " ditto, "and the Indian..."  Done
  • No need to link "corruption".  Done
  • "Kalam also has " -> "He also has...  Done
  • "playing the veenai musical instrument .[5]"-> "playing the veenai.[5]"  Done
  • Don't keep repeating Kalam on every line, do please try to vary the prose, referring to him (where unambiguous) as he or him would be great.
  • Don't put spaces between punctuation and refs.  Done
  • Don't "re-abbreviate", i.e. you've already said ISRO and linked it in the lead, so you just need to use ISRO (unlinked) subsequently.  Done
  • Don't overlink DRDO.  Done
  • Don't bold text unnecessarily.  Done
  • Put spaces between refs and text that follow them.  Done
  • "Kalam along with Vladimir Putin and Manmohan Singh during his presidency." not a complete sentence so no need for a full stop.  Done
  • "Main article: Pokhran-II" not at all a "main article" about the "criticisms of APJ". Perhaps a "see also".  Done
  • "Issues with American security authorities" odd heading level.  Done
  • "with Kalam trending on Twitter and was also the top most searched keyword on Google India." refs please.  Done
  • 79th (i.e no need for superscript).  Done
  • "Name of Award or Honor" in all table headings, do not unnecessarily capitalise nouns which are not proper nouns.  Done
  • USA or U.S.A.?  Done
  • "A.P.J.Abdul Kalam" or "A.P.J. Abdul Kalam"? Its A. P. J. Abdul Kalam:  Done
  • "Books 2005 [73]" don't put a space there..  Done
  • Consistent date format in the refs please. Question?: I'm not sure, what you are saying about. All the dates are in DMY format, so where are we going wrong? Would be great if you can point it out! -- ♪Karthik♫ ♪Nadar♫ 10:25, 19 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:47, 18 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]