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A Rugrats Passover[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am hoping to take it to FA soon. It is currently a GA and has gone through a copyedit. Any comments on prose, content, or anything at all would be very helpful before I nominated it.

Thanks, The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 00:28, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Definitely a full review coming tomorrow (great timing, Passover starts Monday night!), but here are some quick comments:
  • No period in the lead image caption as it's a fragment (MOS:CAPTION)
  • A couple of links I disagree with; I noticed cell phone and pop culture. I suggest some sort of link audit.
  • What makes rugratonline.com ([1] reliable?
  • In the references, I think Klasky-Csupo should lost the hyphen to match the linked article's title
  • Is the title of reference 29 (Cox) missing a colon?

These are just rapid fire comments, more to come. Mm40 (talk) 02:49, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry it took me so long to get back, here are more comments. Mm40 (talk) 02:20, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • The first paragraph should mention the year the episode was first broadcast somewhere
  • The first two sentences of the second paragraph are sort of monotonous. I'm not sure if there's a way to reword it, though.
  • There shouldn't be a comma after "conceived in 1992"
  • "when writer Germain" – his name is given two sentences earlier
  • "by mooting a" I've never heard "mooting" before. I'm all for using fancy words, but I think a simple "wrote" or "thought of" works best here
  • Nickelodeon is linked twice in the second paragraph
  • "Jewish" is linked on the second mention and not on the first
Plot summary
  • the Pickles family are gathering" → "the Pickles family is gathering" or "the Pickles family gathers"
  • "they should use for the Seder"
  • The article has both "pharaoh of Egypt" and "Pharaoh of Egypt" (note the capitalization)
  • "The episode now pictures Tommy" I think "then" would be better than "next"
  • "leads out her remaining army" why is it remaining?
Production
  • Is there a better picture than the one of Hollywood, such as one of the people involved in writing the episode?
  • "regular episodes of the series generally" there's redundancy in "regular ... generally", so you can take out the latter word
  • "Let My Babies Go!: A Passover Story" the colon should be removed to match its article (note that this change also needs to be made in the Legacy section)
Themes and Reception
  • I don't think you need a link for nonreligious
  • In what time slot was the episode originally broadcast?
  • I suggest merging these two sentences: "...4.8% share of American audiences. This made it the sixth most-watched..."
  • "as Nickelodeon's most-viewed only in 1997" why "only"? It's not that long a time, only two years (are you planning on making the Thanksgiving article?)
  • Why, specifically, did Keller "hate" the episode?
  • "episodes featuring characters Boris and Minka" you can take out "characters", particularly since it's used later in the sentence
  • Personally, I would leave "comic strip" and "picture book" unlinked, but it's up to you
  • What year was "Harold's Bar Mitzvah" broadcast
  • I'm not fond of reference 37 being after the em-dash. I would prefer a comma: "David N. Weiss, who had recently converted to Judaism,[37] and J. David Stern"
References
  • The New Yorker should be italicized in reference 2
  • In reference 37 (Hannah Brown), what does the number on the end mean? If it's a page number (which I assume it is), you should add "p." or something similar before it

That's all I can find, at this point. Another very nice article, and thanks for the memories. Mm40 (talk) 02:20, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, and it was my pleasure. :D The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 15:18, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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