Wikipedia:Peer review/Achtung Baby/archive1

Achtung Baby

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to see it progress through to GA standard, and hopefully even FA at one stage. I would like a general review of the whole article. I would value non-music and non-pop culture editors as much as those more used to reviewing music articles.

Thanks, Merbabu (talk) 14:30, 12 September 2009 (UTC)

llywrch writes

This is good, solid article. I looked at it critically, & found it answered all of the questions I had about the subject. I wish I could say more. -- llywrch (talk) 23:10, 18 September 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This seems comprehensive and generally well-written. I have some suggestions, mainly about prose and style, and a couple about making the article a bit more accessible to readers with no U2 background.

Lead

• I think it would be helpful to give the names of the four band members in the lead.
• Should the video be mentioned in the lead?

Background

• "the album’s intended homage to American music legends was interpreted as the band's self-importance and them placing themselves as equals with the likes of Bob Dylan and The Beatles" - The phrase "them placing themselves' is a bit awkward. Suggestion: "the album’s intended homage to American music legends was interpreted as a self-promoting attempt to claim equality with the likes of Bob Dylan and The Beatles".
• "Towards the end of Lovetown Tour, Bono said... " - Wikilink Lovetown Tour?

Pre-recording

• "With a more contemporary feel, Bono later said the song was more in line with Achtung Baby." - Dangling modifier. Suggestion: "With a more contemporary feel, the song was more in line with Achtung Baby, Bono said".
• "The band recorded "Night and Day" for the first of the Red Hot + Blue releases and Bono and The Edge contributed to the original score for the Royal Shakespeare Company's theatrical version of A Clockwork Orange and Bono later said that this early experimentation was "preparing the ground for Achtung Baby"." - Too many clauses. Suggestion: The band recorded "Night and Day" for the first of the Red Hot + Blue releases, and Bono and The Edge contributed to the original score for the Royal Shakespeare Company's theatrical version of A Clockwork Orange. Bono later said that this early experimentation was "preparing the ground for Achtung Baby".
• "including guitar riffs" - Wikilink riff?

Video

• "Achtung Baby: The Videos, The Cameos, and a Whole Lot of Interference from Zoo TV" - This title should be in italics but not bold letters.
• Does the list have to be numbered? Should it be preceded by a sentence saying what the list is? Shouldn't the "Interference" titles have a capital "I" but lowercase letters otherwise? Wikipedia generally avoids all caps even if the source uses them. Exceptions exist, but this doesn't look like one of them.

References

• Page ranges take en dashes rather than hyphens.
• Citations 64 through 74 are incomplete as are some of the other citations. A good rule of thumb for Internet citations is to include author, title, publisher, date of publication, url, and access date, if all of those are known.
• What makes www.atu2.com or its sources such as Hot Press reliable?
• Is a second infobox normal? I'm not used to seeing more than one, and I'm not finding examples of music FA articles that use two. See Smashing Pumpkins, for example. I think the combination of the numbered list, the second infobox, which overlaps three sections, and the bolding make this last section look less polished than the upper sections. Also, the image in this infobox is oddly big compared to the small one in the first infobox. Perhaps the lead image should be bigger and this one smaller?

General

• The dabfinder tool that lives here finds two wikilinks that go to disambiguation pages rather than their intended targets.
• The link checker tool that lives here finds four dead urls in the citations.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article in an area of your choice. Finetooth (talk) 02:13, 19 September 2009 (UTC) oth|Finetooth]] (talk) 02:13, 19 September 2009 (UTC)