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Wikipedia:Peer review/Anna Burke/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I would love to get it to Featured Article status. It has recently passed Good Article, and I'm not sure what else needs to be done to get it to Featured. Any advice and suggestions for improvement are hugely appreciated!

Thanks, GraziePrego (talk) 04:46, 21 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comments (CMD)

[edit]
  • The lead could be edited to be a bit more comprehensive regarding the body contents. The body has two policy subsections, refugees and food allergies, and only the first is covered in the lead. I would also suggest a brief mention of the period between election and speakership, although this only gets a single paragraph in the body. A bit more could also be added about her time as speaker, even if it was short, as reading the article this seems to be the main claim to prominence. Specific items of trivia, such as "after Joan Child", should not be in the lead (but this could be in the body, which it currently is not).
  • "The couple have a son and a daughter; in 1999, Burke became the second woman to give birth while a sitting Member of the Australian Parliament when her daughter was born.[7] Burke had her second child in 2002.[8]" "son and a daughter" to me reads chronologically, but the text suggests the daughter is older.
  • "pre-selected" is a bit of jargon, a bit more explanation may help those unfamiliar with Australian politics. It's worth keeping an eye out for other bits of jargon, like "2PP", although in that particular case this could be helped just with a link to Two-party-preferred vote.
  • Is the speaker technically a part of government? The lead states she was a member of the government, and the body states she was a "government member".

CMD (talk) 07:50, 28 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Regarding your last question, the answer is a confusing form of 'sort of'. The speaker in Australia is supposed to be non-partisan, and with one massive exception, this is true. They also don't sit with the government and don't attend party room meetings, but usually retain their party membership and vote with their party if the House of Representatives is tied. With the sentence in question, maybe something like 'where the Labor Party, which Burke was a part of, was defeated,' would make more sense. JML1148 (talk | contribs) 08:24, 3 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • I think the lead should be reorganized - in addition to the points raised by CMD above, it currently comprises several short choppy paragraphs that could be presented more cohesively
  • The structure of the whole article could also use reviewing - at the moment everything personal is in the Early life section, which doesn't make sense given the timescale involved
  • Before FAC this could use a thorough going-over for MOS issues. For example, a number of wikilinks are repeated, even within a single section.
  • Similarly the citation style needs editing for consistency

@GraziePrego: Have you had a chance to work on the above comments? Z1720 (talk) 05:26, 2 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I made some of the changes already but admittedly not many so far. Thank you for the reminder, I will make some progress on these soon. GraziePrego (talk) 13:06, 2 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@GraziePrego: It has been a month since the last comment on this PR. Is this ready to be closed and nominated to FAC? I highly recommend that you review articles at WP:FAC now to build goodwill amongst the FAC community and make it more likely that your nomination will be reviewed. Z1720 (talk) 14:24, 15 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, this is ready to be closed in preparation of heading to FAC. That’s a good suggestion about reviewing FACs too, I shall do so. Many thanks. GraziePrego (talk) 21:57, 15 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]