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Wikipedia:Peer review/Ashley Tisdale/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate it again for FA but I'm not sure if this article is ready for it. In my opinion, it is but I wanted to see other editions opinions before nominating it.

Thanks, Decodet (talk) 00:34, 7 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Liquidluck (talk):

  • There are a number of broken links.
  • Images need alt text per WP:ALT
  • What makes these cites reliable?: Interfaith.com (appears to be a blog), Fanbolt.com,
  • Go through each citation and make sure the formatting is identical. In some cases, the cites list the website as the publisher (I.E. MTV.com), while others list the publication as the publisher (I.E. MTV), and others list the publiher's owner (I.E. MTV Networks. For example, citation numbers 42-52 are all formatted differently. Pick one and reformat the others to match.
  • The "Not Like That" sample does not include a non-fair use rationale for Ashley Tisdale, only for Not Like That. You need a very strong rationale for using it on the Ashley Tisdale page (Why this song, why this song on this page.). See rationales for Smooth Criminal and Thriller for examples.

Body

  • In the lead, specify which film in "...both songs from the film's first soundtrack."
  • According to the Phineas and Ferb article, Tisdale is a main cast member. Since she is featured on the show's title card along with the title characters, I'm inclined to agree. Is there a reason you wrote supporting instead?
  • switch "pursued" to "launched" or "began", since she continued to act following her first HM appearance.
  • Early life seems disjointed, from commercials to major Broadway show to community theatre to singing for the President to commericals again. The sentences are fine, but change the order to more than 100 commercials, became a Ford Model, community theater, Broadway, President.
  • Tisdale was soon cast as Sharpay Evans in the Disney Channel Original Movie High School Musical, which premiered _____.
  • You need another comma after EP title, Headstrong, and Not Like That.
  • Give her role on Phineas and Ferb more emphasis; mention that she also sings here. Info might be found on the Phineas and Ferb page as it is a good-looking GA article.
  • This sentence is too long. Break it up: "Guilty Pleasure was first released in June, 2009 in several countries and in July of the same year in North America,[5] it later debuted at number twelve on Billboard 200, selling 25,000 copies in its first week of sales.[27]"

I stopped going through the article after that, as it appears there are no serious content issues, just grammar issues. Get someone else who is not a major contributor to read through and copy-edit the article, or at least read it outloud to yourself. Fix the grammar, and I'd say you have a good FA candidate. Good luck! Liquidluck (talk) 20:29, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed most of your issues but Im still working on some of them, such as the references. Thanks for your help! Decodet (talk) 22:41, 11 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
No problem. Let me know on my talk page if you have questions or need a copy-editor. Liquidluck (talk) 01:29, 12 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]