Wikipedia:Peer review/Auckland Zoo/archive1

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Auckland Zoo[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because…

I want to get it to GA or FA standard, any comments or edits would be appreciated.

Thanks,

ZoofanNZ (talk) 01:38, 27 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:11, 28 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)[edit]

Hello, I'll make a few comments which may help on the way to GA.

  • "Auckland Zoo" or "Auckland Zoological Park"?
  • Headings should be per WP:HEAD so "Early History" should be "Early history".
  • Date ranges should be separated by en-dash (e.g. 1939–45 is preferred over 1939 - 1945).
  • "The zoo..." is used a lot in the lead, mix it up a bit.
  • Consider merging the final paragraph of the lead - it's a bit short on its own.
  • "history of the Auckland Zoo begins " - not storytime, encyclopaedia time so use the past tense.
  • Citations should be used in-line, if you're using a book then use {{Cite book}} and specify the page number(s) used for the claims in the article.
  • "bleak and uninspiring " - is this your opinion (WP:OR) or a quotation (cite it)?
  • I believe I'm right in saying you should use "1930s" not "1930's".
  • Several short paragraphs in history sections could be better worked together.
  • Quite a lot of "it was believed to...", "she was believed to..." - by whom? This is where citation is important.
  • " (see Current Zoo). " - nasty, not required.
  • Animals suddenly become capitalised in the 1960's onwards... why?
  • "However a much spectacular short term exhibit was being investigated." don't understand this sentence.
  • Recent History section is a lot of very short paragraphs. It needs work.
  • 980m2 - sort this out.
  • " $4.6 million" - NZ dollars?
  • "Te Wao Nui " - why bulleted and bold? Then a dollar value with no symbol.
  • Gallery is way over the top.
  • Too many external links, they're not necessary. If they're used for citation then consider the {{Cite web}} template.

Hope these help. Feel free to get in touch with me. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:32, 30 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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